Jay's Pov:
He was still sleeping when I woke up, usually I would have got up and started to do some work,
But after I saw how everything was to stay close to him and hold him and I was mindlessly caressing his hair and was holding him tight and he nuzzled into my neck ,
Jay: " Thank you for choosing and loving me, I think no one else can ever love me the way you do Keif " I said and placed a side kiss.
He slowly moved and I realised he was waking up, he opened his eyes and saw my face first a smiled formed on his face but then it felt like he realised something,
he moved away from me quickly, my face changed as soon as he did that,
Jay: "Keif"
Keifer: "Jay, what happened? why are you here?" he piled me up with questions
then I realised he doesn't remember anything that happened,
Jay: "Keif, you don't remember anything from last night?"
he thinks before answering, then he looks at his state, his face is filled with guilt.
Keifer: "Jay, did I do something after getting drunk? Did I come to Sara's house and created a scene?." He started babbling in fear and confusion,
He was going on and I couldn't let him to do that to himself,
Jay: "Keif, Keif." Look at me, I said cupping his face and moving towards him, but he still kept on going and this time I didn't stop him because I wanted to know what is going on inside his mind
Keifer: "I am sorry Jay, I didn't mean, I swear I didn't want to create any trouble for you, It just that you said you wanted to be away from me for sometime and wanted space, without even me realising this fear gets me and I couldn't stop or control it, So I didn't want to feel it anymore so I drink, I am sorry, I don't deserve you, all I do is keep creating trouble for you and you end getting hurt because of me, but what can I do, I try "his voice breaks and tears start pouring from his eyes,
I try… I do but I just can't accept the fact that I have hurt you or that you want to stay away from me, I just can't." He breaks down after finally saying it,
I realised something that he gets anxious whenever we fight or we end up in a situation where he starts to think that I might leave him or us separating, his fears comes in and he doesn't know how to handle this and he drink to numb down his feelings
And I remembered what the therapist said to me about him.
I break down after realising that, I start crying,
Keifer: "Jay, I am sorry, Jay.. sorry sorry." He starts comforting even in this state because he thinks I am hurt because of him,
I wipe my tears and compose myself,
Jay: "Keifer, Look at me. It's not your fault, you didn't do anything, it was me I push you away when I sense a problem that affects us because I think I am subconsciously worried that you might walk out of my life and I know you will never do that, but that's how it was for 8 years, So I don't know why I am doing this because maybe I think if there is chance you walk away from me I hope I do it first because it hurts less but I know that's not the case with us, we always find eachother no matter what, because that's how it is always going to be, and now I understood it, I know we will always work out everything."
Jay: "Keifer, Look at me. It's not your fault, you didn't do anything, it was me I push you away when I sense a problem that affects because I think I am subconsciously worried that you might walk out of my life and I know you will never do that, but that's how it was for 8 years, So I don't know why I am doing this because maybe I think if there is chance you walk away from me I hope I do it first because it hurts less but I know that's not the case with us, we always find eachother no matter what, because that's how it is always going to be, and now I understood it, I know we will always work out everything."
I saw relief in his face as soon as I said that and I wipe his tears and get closer to him and his hands instantly move to mine to hold them,
We hug each other, we hold ourselves closer, we stay like that for a while, because at the end of the day this what we need nothing else.
I pulled away while still being in the hug,
He looked at me and he looked almost normal,
Jay: "Keifer, I think we have to do something."
Keifer: "What is it Jay?"
Jay: "Whenever something happens and I feel like I push you away, please don't let me do that because I know what I need is you but sometimes I think I am just scared to voice it out, so If I say so, please just hold my hand and look me in the eyes and just give a kiss, I think it will work."
He did not reply instead he just leaned in and kissed me, and rested his forehead on mine,
Keifer: "Sorry."
I just nod my head into a no and chuckle,
He starts speaking,
Keifer: "You too Jay, whenever it's feels like I am falling apart or losing everything, please just come to me and hold me close and just say that you are here for me because that's what I need. You."
I smile and lean in for another kiss.
Jay: "Okay, now I have a surprise for you."
Keifer: "What is it?"
Jay: "We are going on a trip, we are going to ditch everything else, no phones, no work, just us. That's it and you will have no excuse."
Keifer: "Why would I have an excuse, when it's literally everything that I want."
He says and chuckles,
Keifer: "But I want one more thing right now?"
Jay: "What?"
Keifer: "A kiss." I know he has returned to normal now,
Jay: "You already had 2"
Keifer: "So it's never enough and you know 3 is our lucky number." He says and pull me closer,
I just smile and lean in again and we share a beautiful kiss,
Jay: "Okay, now go freshen up, we have to pack."
Keifer: "Fine" he moves sulking
I just chuckle looking at him and I take my phone to check and my face changed when I noticed a message from an unknown number.
Author's Note:
What's the message?🫣
How's the trip going to be🫣❤️
Maybe a proposal🤭🥰
JAYFER is not going to be hurting eachother here after but….
I think some one is coming?🫣
Also sorry for not uploading for so long, I was just taking a break. 🤍
Comment your thoughts because it motivates me to write faster and I will upload soon💗✨
Hope you guys liked the chapter🤍