The city was shrouded in a thick, impenetrable fog.
The mist, filling the labyrinth of narrow buildings, only emphasized the already grim atmosphere of the metropolis.
"We've arrived after all," someone said from the darkness.
Police officers in black uniforms emerged from the fog towards the gentleman. Behind them on the pavement lay a body: the lower half of the corpse was literally soaked in blood.
"Is this the second case?" the gentleman asked.
"It seems so," replied an officer, who appeared to be the shift supervisor, with a noticeable worry on his face.
"Another prostitute. The red-light district is only three blocks from here. Judging by the absence of shoes, she ran in panic without even managing to put them on. Trying to escape from something... or someone."
The gentleman carefully examined the body, piecing together the victim's final moments in his mind.
"Hey, buddy, you forgot your revolver."
A tall gentleman, leaning on a cane, appeared behind him. He handed over a six-shot pistol. After standing up and taking the weapon, the first gentleman shook his companion's hand.
"You're late, Doctor Watson."
"I was delayed because you left your revolver, Mr. Holmes."
After a brief greeting, both returned to examining the body.
"Time of death?"
"About two or three hours ago."
"Cause?"
"Incised wounds to the lower body. It looks like... the blows were inflicted in the uterine area."
"Was the victim pregnant? No, unlikely."
"However, the incisions in this area are extremely skillfully made. A very sharp blade. Looks like a scalpel job."
"Hmm, so our killer is a doctor."
The dialogue continued for several minutes. After finishing the examination, they straightened up. The case clearly promised to be a puzzle.
"Damn it. And I was hoping to escape with my fiancée for a picnic..."
"Or to a gambling house? Ah, forgive me, I meant the racetrack."
"I've given up gambling, Holmes."
"Human nature doesn't change that easily."
As they bickered, heading past the police officers towards a cab, Holmes suddenly froze, catching a barely audible sound.
"Watson, have you by any chance changed your watch recently?"
"No. Why?"
It wasn't Watson's watch. The sound was coming from underground. A bad premonition gripped Holmes; with a worried look, he hurried to the carriage.
"Faster! It's dangerous here...!"
He didn't get to finish. Under the pavement, right in the sewer, an explosion thundered. Following it, thick, unnatural fog erupted from underground, instantly filling the street.
"Watson!"
Realizing that this fog was deadly, Holmes shouted to the doctor, who had already begun to choke and cough. Picking up his fallen comrade, Holmes rolled up his right sleeve, revealing the back of his hand with a tattooed pattern.
"By the authority of the Command Spell, I command! Saber... save... *cough*... me... *cough*!"
Enveloped in the mist, Holmes collapsed to the ground, convulsing in a coughing fit.
◇
Chaldea, a typical weekday.
Finding a free moment, Ritsuka went to the library and, as usual, became engrossed in reading manga. Even if the world was ablaze, making it impossible to read new issues, he was glad for what he found in the old stock.
"Ah, Senpai."
Mash appeared before Ritsuka, who was engrossed in reading. She had also come to read and, clutching a couple of books to her chest, sat down opposite him.
"A detective novel?"
"Yes. I've never read one before, so I decided to try this time."
The book she chose first was about Sherlock Holmes. The icon of the detective genre, the progenitor of all sleuths, whose image had survived countless film adaptations and literary reinterpretations.
"Isn't it a bit difficult for a start?"
"Once you get into the essence, it becomes very interesting, Senpai. Would you like to take a look too?"
Ritsuka politely declined. He didn't really want to overload his brain with serious literature – he preferred something simple and understandable. Like manga.
For a while, silence reigned in the library, broken only by the rustling of pages.
They both felt each other's presence: they stole glances over their books, and when their eyes accidentally met, they would blush and hastily hide behind the spreads.
"Aaaaaah!!"
The idyll was interrupted by a familiar scream from the depths of Chaldea.
"That voice..."
"Wade?"
Hearing Deadpool's scream, Ritsuka and Mash dropped their books and ran out of the library.
"You damn golem worshipper! Explain what's going on!"
"What's there to explain? The experiment to transfer a human soul into an empty golem failed, that's all."
The screams were coming from Avicebron's workshop. After the incident where he almost blew up Chaldea, he was placed under house arrest, but the Master seemed unable to bear it and started his experiments again.
"Wade! What happened...?"
"Master Avicebron! Did another explosion happen...?"
Entering the workshop, they saw Avicebron thoughtfully resting his chin on his hand, looking at the results of the failure. Deadpool's body lay on the lab table, and nearby, a small rodent, spitting saliva with fury in the same voice as Deadpool, thrashed about.
"A rat?"
Although for a rat, the creature was a bit large – slightly bigger than Fou. And its strangely curved tail hinted that it was clearly not an ordinary rodent.
"It's me, me! Wade Wilson! Deadpool! Damn it!"
Hearing the beast call itself the same guy who was lying unconscious on the table, Ritsuka and Mash froze for a moment, then, realizing the reality of the situation, screamed in horror:
"E-eh-eh-eh?!"
Soon, Da Vinci, Romani, and other Servants joined the commotion.
"Pfft! So... *cough*! Pool helped with the experiment... and now he's like this? Bu-ha-ha-ha!"
"Just laugh out loud, don't choke... God, I wish I could die."
As Da Vinci burst into laughter, the rat-Deadpool furiously jumped onto Romani's face and began to tear at him.
"You ugly bastard! I can't stand to see you! You damn cowardly chick! You're a chicken your whole life, you unfinished chick!"
However, the beast's attack had the opposite effect on Romani.
"Oh... how fluffy..."
Instead of defending himself, Romani pressed the beast to himself and began to rub his cheek against it. The creature showered him with choice curses, trying to break free, but in vain.
"Ahem, so. You tried to transfer the soul into a golem, but it couldn't return to its original body and got stuck in this one? Ha-ha!"
The beast with funny ears and a wagging tail looked incredibly cute, but the stream of the coarsest curses pouring from its mouth created a monstrous dissonance.
"Kha! Indeed... a regrettable story... kh-he!"
Emiya tried his best to maintain a serious face, but the sight of Deadpool in this form was so ridiculous that he began to have trouble breathing from suppressed laughter.
"But there must be a way to fix everything, right? It can't be that a great golem master can't handle such a mistake," Hassan of the Cursed Arm reasoned.
Avicebron nodded.
"Given the limited resources here, it will take time. So you'll have to live in this body for a while. Don't worry, I won't leave you like this forever."
"Th-th-thank you to tears, you damn bastard," Deadpool hissed, glaring at the Master.
"Alright, let's finish with this. Time to move on to the next item, right?"
Romani immediately moved on to the briefing for the new singularity.
"This time, the target is London, the city of fogs. The year is 1888. The era of the Industrial Revolution."
"Industrial Revolution? Is that where the factories and plants are?" Ritsuka asked.
Romani launched into a historical excursion about 19th-century London.
Under the influence of industrialization, technology made a sharp leap, but harmful emissions from coal burning formed a dense layer in the atmosphere, turning the metropolis into a "city of fogs." Due to coal dust, Londoners began to wear black top hats and black suits – thus the classic image of the English gentleman was born.
"Yeah, I've turned into a rat here, and you're singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' to me. Just you wait, when I get back into my body, you'll regret it."
Romani, who for the first time in a long time could speak without fear of Deadpool's taunts (at least physical ones), felt unprecedented relief. The rat-Deadpool just glared at him maliciously with his button-like eyes, plotting revenge.
"Wait, wait a minute!"
Da Vinci, who had briefly stepped away to the workshop, returned with an anticipatory smile and beckoned the rat-Deadpool.
"You're not in your body now, which means you're extremely weak. Besides, the healing factor in this organism... pfft... doesn't work. So be careful. And... I've prepared this."
Da Vinci took out miniature equipment, exactly replicating the design of Deadpool's costume, only sewn to the size of the rodent.
"This is a special Mystic Code of my own making. It can withstand a decent blow, weighs almost nothing, and will enhance your physical abilities."
The rodent, donning its new outfit, was delighted at how perfectly the costume fit its little body.
"And here. A belt and swords, as you requested."
He received a tiny belt for his belly and two short blades, which were convenient to wield with his paws.
"Oh! Belt of Transformation! Shaba-dubby-touch-henshin! Ah, no, that's not it... 555 Standing By! Complete!"
Having received the belt, Deadpool, beside himself with joy, began striking Transformer hero poses, trying to activate a transformation, but nothing happened.
"Who said you were going to transform? It's just a communication device. Heh-heh!"
"You... old hag!!"
While the tricked Deadpool jumped on his short paws in anger, Da Vinci, Mash, and the other women looked at him with shining eyes.
"Don't look at me like that! I'll punch everyone! Ha-cha! Why does this always happen to me? I just wanted to be happy for once! I, Deadpool, can't be happy!"
Amidst Deadpool's screams, Romani, feeling that the beast's anger was about to turn on him, turned pale and hastily initiated the leishift process.
"Good luck, Dedchu~"
"I'm not Dedchu-u-u!!"
With that cry, Deadpool, also known as Dedchu, dematerialized along with the others.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan