The air in the Penthouse was a toxic cocktail of high-end cologne, Ozone, and the smell of a dozen different anime power-ups. Aizen was crouched behind his mahogany desk, his hands desperately shielding his smooth, pale scalp from the judgment of the multiverse.
"tum, look at him!" Deadpool cackled, leaning into the camera so close his mask-fabric was out of focus. "The King of the Heavens has been dethroned by a man who uses the same shampoo as a bowling ball! And look at Eren! He's having a crisis!"
Eren Yeager was currently stumbling around the wreckage of the office, clawing at his face. Aizen's sentient wig had latched onto his forehead like a brown, fluffy face-hugger.
"I will... keep moving forward... until all the tangles are destroyed!" Eren muffled through the synthetic fibers. "Is this freedom?! Is this what's beyond the walls?! A mediocre hairpiece?!"
"Get it off him, Genos!" Deadpool yelled, his legs now fully grown and clad in pristine red spandex. "It's gaining power! It's absorbing the Titan energy! If that thing starts a 'Rumbling,' we're going to need a much bigger comb!"
The Manager's Arrival
The temperature in the room suddenly dropped to absolute zero, then spiked to the core of a sun. The floor didn't just vibrate; it groaned in submission. A purple portal opened directly above Aizen's desk, and a lean, purple feline stepped out, wearing Egyptian-style gold jewelry and an expression of profound boredom.
It was Lord Beerus (Dragon Ball Super). Behind him, Whis was casually checking a digital tablet.
"I was in the middle of a very important nap," Beerus yawned, his voice echoing like thunder. "But the disturbance in the 'Retail Force' was too loud to ignore. Who is responsible for the destruction of the Panda Express? And why is there a bald man crying over a 2,000 yen parking ticket?"
"He did it!" Deadpool shouted instantly, pointing at Aizen. "And the guy with the rubber neck! And the spiky-haired kid who thinks everything is a 'Bankai'! tum, watch me throw everyone under the bus. It's my best superpower!"
The Snack Mandate
Beerus looked around the room, his eyes lingering on the shattered glass and the assembled heroes. "This mall is an interdimensional neutral zone. Since you've turned it into a landfill, I have decided to 'Hakai' the entire building—and everyone in it."
"WAIT!" Saitama shouted, finally standing up and dusting off his yellow suit. He looked Beerus right in the eyes. "If you blow up the mall, I'll never get my 5,000 yen refund. The transaction hasn't cleared yet."
Whis chuckled, tapping his staff. "My Lord, perhaps a wager? If these... 'Main Characters' can provide a snack that satisfies your palate, we shall spare the mall and let the bald one have his refund. If not... well, kaboom."
The Multiverse Bake-Off
Deadpool clapped his hands together. "You heard the Space-Cat, tum! It's a cooking competition! Anime icons, assemble! Goku, get some meat! Naruto, where's the ramen?! Anya, give him the peanuts! Sukuna, don't put fingers in the food, that's gross!"
Luffy immediately tried to cook a piece of the Mecha-Pool wreckage.
Isagi Yoichi began analyzing the "Optimal Flavor Path" with his meta-vision.
Natsu used his fire to grill a stray Miltank that had glitched through a portal.
Rimuru transformed into a high-end blender to help with the prep.
"I have something," Saitama said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a slightly squashed, plastic-wrapped Seaweed Rice Ball he had bought at a 7-Eleven three dimensions ago. "It was on sale. Half price because the expiration date is... well, it was yesterday. But the flavor is locked in."
Beerus squinted at the sad, triangular snack. The entire room held its breath. Aizen was still in the corner, trying to summon a new wig through sheer willpower.
"A half-price rice ball?" Beerus whispered, reaching out a clawed hand. "From a man who defeated Debt itself?"