Chapter 145 The Great Emperor Joins the Senior University! Teaching These Old Monsters Tai Chi?
"Ding! Detected that host Ye Feng has completed the 'Supreme Early Childhood Education' training. Current causal chain: a perfect closed loop from beginning to end!" "Because the host has spent too much time in kindergarten and is tired of those hairless brats, the final mortal realm experience is now activated: Sunset Glow—Honorary Principal of the Shanghai Evergreen Senior University. Note: 99.99999999999999% of the host's cultivation has been sealed. The current identity is an 'ordinary,' even somewhat old-fashioned, retired life guidance instructor." "Current mission: Guide the remaining body, recreate the universe. Does the host wish to activate: Reincarnation Reversal Mode, to let those ancestors of the heavens, whose lifespans are nearing their end and who think they are 'extinct,' understand that in my class, unless I nod, even the King of Hell can't enter?"
Shanghai, early morning.
Sunlight pierced through the thin mist, casting its glow on the antique red brick walls of the Evergreen Senior University. On the playground, sycamore leaves swirled and fell, and the air was filled with a faint aroma of tea and calligraphy.
This school, nominally a paradise for retired cadres, is in reality the most terrifying "lair" on the entire Blue Star and even in all the myriad worlds.
Any old man playing chess in the flowerbed here could be a founding father who once held absolute power, or a reclusive master of a forbidden zone who retired from the martial world after the revival of spiritual energy.
Ye Feng was wearing a loose-fitting dark blue tracksuit, carrying a stainless steel thermos filled with warm water, and even extravagantly tossed in two red dates disguised as "immortal marrow".
Who would have thought that this seemingly thin young man, who was stopped and questioned by the old man at the gate for "not wearing his school badge," was once the eternal ruler who commanded the gods and made the mortal world tremble.
"Young man, this is a senior citizens' university. You've come to the wrong place. The security guard job applicants are at the back gate, and the water delivery job applicants are downstairs."
The old man standing guard at the gate was called Old Zhao. Although he wore a wrinkled uniform, his cloudy eyes occasionally opened and closed, revealing a strange vision of stars disappearing. He was a "remnant saint" who had retreated from an ancient battlefield.
Ye Feng slowly unscrewed the lid, took a sip, and casually handed over a pack of soft white rice crackers that cost five yuan a pack.
"Old Zhao, stop acting. That old wound on your waist was pecked by the 'Sky-Swallowing Sparrow' three thousand years ago, wasn't it? The weather has changed these past few days, it must hurt quite a bit. Let me take a prick to improve blood circulation."
Old Zhao's hand, which had just taken the cigarette, suddenly froze, and a glint of light, sharp enough to tear the sky apart, burst forth in his eyes.
"You... how did you see that? I've concealed my sword intent for three thousand years, even deceiving the Heavenly Dao!"
Ye Feng ignored him, patted him on the shoulder, and swaggered into the school gate.
"Want to know? Come to my 'Health-Preserving Tai Chi Class' tomorrow, and I'll teach you how to detoxify that bird."
Old Zhao stood there, oblivious to the cigarette falling to the ground, his mind churning with turbulent thoughts: What kind of monster is this young man...?
At this moment, a group of elderly men and women with white hair were gathered in the center of the playground of the senior university.
"Hmph! Old Zhang, your 'Mountain-Crushing Fist' isn't powerful enough. Back in the day, you wouldn't even have a mark on my 'Golden Bell Cover'!" "Go to hell, Old Li! Your Golden Bell Cover has been leaking for ages. I have to use my 'Rejuvenation Skill' to patch it up for you. Aren't you ashamed?"
A group of old monsters who could shake the heavens with a stomp of their feet were now arguing fiercely about whose cultivation method was more "health-preserving".
Ye Feng carried his thermos to the center of the field, grabbed a broom from the side, and slammed it into the ground.
"Quiet down, everyone. The one practicing the Golden Bell Cover technique, stop holding your breath, or your prostate enlargement will be hopeless. And the one practicing the Rejuvenation Technique, that's not rejuvenation, that's a final burst of energy before death. If you practice that for two more days, your soul will fall apart."
The entire venue fell into a deathly silence.
A group of ancestors, immortal kings, and war gods all turned their heads to look at the young man with a mocking expression.
"Where did this brat come from? How dare he point fingers at my martial arts?" "Young people these days are truly ignorant and arrogant. Do you even know what 'Tao' means?"
Old Li was so angry that his beard trembled. He took a big step forward. Although his cultivation was sealed, the holy might that had been suppressed for thousands of years still made the surrounding space groan.
"Since you understand, then tell me, how should I practice Tai Chi?"
Ye Feng laughed, a wildly arrogant laugh. He casually put down his thermos and stood in the center of the Bagua position.
"Tai Chi? What you're doing is called senior citizens' radio calisthenics."
Ye Feng stretched out one hand and drew a circle in the air very slowly.
"Watch closely, I'll only teach you once. This is called—The Unity of All Heavens."
Buzz—!
In that instant, the ordinary playground underwent a sudden and unexpected change!
As Ye Feng moved his finger, a gigantic black and white millstone stretching for billions of miles appeared in the sky above the entire Evergreen Senior University! It was the manifestation of cause and effect and time!
The old monsters around them, who were already nearing the end of their lives and were on their deathbeds, were horrified to find that the "life lamps" above their heads, which were about to burn out, were actually frantically retreating backward as the circle was drawn!
His white hair turned black, his wrinkles faded, and his once depleted dantian was once again surging with vitality like a vast ocean!
This is not just a simple cure, it's—a reversal of the cycle!
"This...this is the Emperor's doing? No! This is a miracle of creation!" "My old ailment...healed? I'm alive again?!"
Old Li knelt down with a thud, crying like a child: "Teacher! Please accept my bow! I have lived for ten thousand years, and only today do I know what Tai Chi is!"
Ye Feng withdrew his hand, and the strange phenomena around him vanished instantly. He was still the somewhat dejected assistant instructor carrying a thermos.
"Alright, stop kneeling. This isn't customary here. Ali, come over here and take attendance. Anyone who's late, go do a handstand and poop on the playground."
"Alright, Principal!"
Suddenly, a burly man wearing the uniform of a deputy security captain, who was squatting by the flower bed picking his toes, jumped out. It was Hu Yanli.
He somehow got his hands on a uniform that exuded the aura of an old-fashioned cadre team leader, and he was even carrying a large megaphone.
"Hehe, you old men, listen up! The headmaster... no, the principal said that from today onwards, your task is to play. Anyone who dares to secretly go into seclusion to cultivate, I'll fill up their cave!"
For the next month, Evergreen Senior University became the most mysterious holy place in all the heavens and myriad realms.
Here.
The once ruthless and bloodthirsty Demonic Ancestor is now wearing an apron and learning how to knit a sweater from Ye Feng, saying it's to hone his "sense of spatial coordinates"; the once stunning Nine Heavens Empress (older version) is squatting under a tree, learning how to plant scallions from Ye Feng, saying it's to experience the "fleeting beauty of life breaking through the soil"; even several ancient supreme beings who have already entered their coffins and are now just remnants of their souls have been dug up by Ye Feng and are lining up to receive "free eggs" from the school, saying it's to experience the "equal cause and effect of all beings".
"Teacher, is my stitching technique correct?" The old patriarch of the demonic path asked, his hands trembling as he handed over a pair of woolen trousers that were only half-knitted.
Ye Feng glanced at it, then casually slapped the back of his hand with a ruler: "Wrong! Your knitting technique is too murderous. These woolen pants could break a person's legs if they wore them. Knit them again! You can eat again when you've knitted out the radiance of motherhood!"
"Yes...yes..."
If this scene were to get out, the jaws of everyone in the myriad realms would probably drop to the floor.
However, within this seemingly absurd "health-preserving lifestyle," the aura of these old monsters was undergoing a qualitative transformation. Their cultivation was no longer the outwardly violent kind, but gradually becoming more restrained, returning to simplicity, and vaguely touching upon the legendary "above the Emperor Realm."
That morning, Ye Feng was lying on a bamboo chair listening to the radio.
Suddenly, a pitch-black gash appeared in the sky.
Those were the vanguard of the "Void Terminators." These creatures have no physical form and specialize in devouring worlds and beings nearing the end of their lifespan. Sensing the large amount of "old life force" gathering here, they mistook it for a sumptuous feast.
"Hehehe... There are so many old men on this planet, each one is a great tonic!"
Dozens of Void Demon Gods, exuding an aura of annihilation, descended, their terrifying shadows covering the entire Demon City, even swallowing up the sunlight.
The world's powerful figures trembled, and the leaders of various countries were filled with despair: "It's over, this is a cataclysmic calamity, no one can stop it!"
However, inside the Ivy League Senior University.
Ye Feng didn't even open his eyes, and simply said something.
"Old Li, Old Zhang, go and deal with those noise sources by the door. Remember to be quiet, so you don't break the neighbor's windows."
"Alright! Teacher, I was just worried about not having a place to stretch my muscles!"
The elderly men and women who were practicing Tai Chi, knitting, and playing chess on the playground all changed their expressions at that moment.
Old Li casually flicked his wrist, and the chess piece in his hand flew into the air.
"The horse moves in the sun, the elephant moves in a field. Give this old man—to control the town!"
Bang!
The wooden chess piece, the instant it flew out of the campus, instantly transformed into a star-shaped divine mountain that suppressed all the heavens, directly smashing the three void demon gods into nothingness.
The Nine Heavens Empress, who was knitting a sweater, casually pulled out a knitting needle and drew it in the air.
"A thousand threads, a knot of cause and effect."
The originally pitch-black void rift was actually stitched up by countless glowing threads. The void creatures couldn't even scream before they were squeezed into tens of thousands of pieces by these "threads" and turned into fertilizer in the flower beds of the senior citizens' university.
Less than three minutes.
The "cataclysmic event" capable of destroying galaxies vanished in the midst of a group of old men and women's casual conversation.
Deep within the void, the great beings of the heavens who were observing this place collectively suffered a sudden cardiac arrest.
"This...this is a senior citizens' university? This is more like a 'celestial retirement home'!" "Where did those old monsters get such terrifying combat power? Could it be...that they were all taught by that young principal?"
Ye Feng stretched, opened his eyes, looked at the sky that had returned to normal, and nodded in satisfaction.
"Good job. You got extra lunch today, the school gave us braised pork."
"Hooray! Long live the principal!"
These powerful figures, capable of sweeping across eras, were now overjoyed, as if celebrating the New Year, over a bowl of braised pork.
It was evening.
Ye Feng was preparing to close the school gates and leave work.
Three stunningly beautiful figures, each carrying a hint of reproach, appeared silently at the school gate.
Ning Rongrong was dressed in an elegant cheongsam, Su Jiu'er was wearing a fiery red strapless dress, and Xiao Wu was holding a huge carrot, looking at Ye Feng with ill intent.
"Principal Ye, you seem to be getting more and more advanced in your worldly trials?" Ning Rongrong stepped forward and straightened Ye Feng's open collar, a half-smile on her face. "I heard you've taken in a few 'former' saintly maidens as students? And you're going to personally teach them 'close-quarters Tai Chi'?"
"That's art! It's pure academic exchange!" Ye Feng said righteously, though cold sweat had already soaked his back.
"Really? Your Majesty, I think we should have an 'academic exchange' too." Su Jiu'er leaned closer, placing her jade-like hand on his shoulder, her eyes alluring. "I heard you're planning some kind of 'senior citizen matchmaking event'? Are you also looking for a few 'companions' for yourself?"
"How could that be! I only have the three of you in my heart. How can those old ladies compare to you?"
"Old lady?" Xiao Wu hopped over, pointing to several female students who had just regained their youth and were giving Ye Feng flirtatious glances. "They look even younger than me now! Ye Feng, are you trying to seduce a young girl?"
"I'm innocent! They broke through on their own, it has nothing to do with me!"
"Shut up! Go home and kneel down to talk!"
Each of the three goddesses grabbed a part of Ye Feng's body, their movements light yet containing an irresistible force.
"Ali! Help! Ali!"
"Principal... I suddenly sensed that my house is on fire. I have to go back and put it out. See you later!" Hu Yanli slipped away and vanished into the depths of the void in an instant.
And so, in the last rays of the setting sun.
Principal Ye, who controlled reincarnation and gave new life to all the ancestors of the heavens, once again transformed into a tragic yet magnificent stream of light, dragged along by three goddesses, flying directly from the Evergreen Senior University to that indescribable "family court".
I am Ye Feng. I can reverse time, I can reshape life. In this senior university, I am the only truth. But the one thing I can't reverse in this life is the 'menopause' of my three ancestors in my family... Although they are forever young, their tempers are truly terrible!
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