Chapter 143 The Great Emperor Joins the Marriage Registration Office! You call this a marriage certificate? I'll just stamp the Heavenly Marriage Register
"Ding! Detected that host Ye Feng has completed the 'Supreme Healer' training. Current emotional understanding value: Perfect!" "Because the host has witnessed countless deaths and rebirths in the mortal world, he has discovered that the marriage rate across the myriad realms is continuously declining. Countless gifted saintesses and divine sons would rather cultivate immortality alone than reproduce, seriously affecting the sustainable development of the universe." "Random mortal identity activated: Clerk at the Marriage Registration Office of the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau. Note: 99.999999999999% of the host's cultivation has been sealed. Current identity is an 'ordinary' administrative clerk holding a steel seal." "Current task: Guide marriages, seal destinies across the heavens. Does the host wish to activate: Causal Lock Mode, to let those self-proclaimed 'severed emotional ties' understand that the seal I stamp is a contract engraved on the soul?"
Shanghai, 8:30 a.m.
The area in front of the Civil Affairs Bureau building was already crowded with people. Sunlight shone on the steps; some couples had sweet smiles on their faces, while others looked solemn.
In window number 3 on the second floor, Ye Feng was wearing a clean white shirt and a pair of elegant, non-prescription glasses perched on his nose. Beside him were a stack of red certificates, a brand-new box of cinnabar inkpad, and an unopened bottle of chilled mineral water.
Who would have thought that this young man, who was being reprimanded by his section chief for being "two minutes late for work," was once the sole supreme being who made Death kneel and all the gods tremble?
"Ye Feng! This is my last warning to you! This is a place to serve the people. Who are you trying to fool by looking like you've just woken up every day?"
The section chief was an old man named Zhou Dafu, who wore thick-rimmed glasses. He was slamming his fist on the table and roaring, his voice echoing in the hall.
Ye Feng slowly unscrewed the water bottle, took a sip, and looked at Zhou Dafu's red nose through his glasses, a slight smile playing on his lips.
"Section Chief Zhou, don't get so angry. Did your wife find the two hundred yuan you secretly hid in the cactus pot last night? You didn't eat enough this morning, and low blood sugar can cause auditory hallucinations."
"You... how did you know?" Zhou Dafu's face instantly turned from red to white, then from white to green, as he looked at the usually taciturn young man in horror.
Ye Feng didn't reply, but simply shook the steel stamp in his hand.
In his double pupils of vision, a red thread of cause and effect, thick or thin, broken or connected, hangs above the heads of everyone in the world. If he so desires, he can sever the connections between galaxies at will, and he can also make sworn enemies form a bond that spans a hundred lifetimes in an instant.
"Let's get started, the people behind us are getting impatient."
Ye Feng's voice wasn't loud, but it carried a magical power that instantly silenced the entire hall.
At this moment, at the front of the line were a man and a woman who looked exceptionally distinguished.
The man wore a moon-white robe, though his modern attire concealed much of it, the sharp sword intent emanating from him almost shattered the chandelier in the hall. The woman wore a pale purple dress, her aloofness like a snow lotus on a high mountain, her eyes revealing a deep disgust for the mundane world.
These two are the heirs of the two most powerful forces in the ancient martial arts world: Shen Guyun, the young master of the Sword Pavilion, and Leng Ningyue, the saintess of the Xuan Nu Palace.
They came here not because of love, but because of a family marriage arrangement.
"Hurry up." Shen Guyun coldly slammed his ID card and household registration book on the counter, his eyes filled with contempt. "Our time is very valuable. This one minute of delay could mean tens of millions in losses."
Leng Ningyue didn't even glance at Ye Feng, her eyes fixed on the clouds outside the window. She had already reached the edge of "severing all emotions and desires," and if it weren't for her family's pressure, she would never have stepped into this dusty civil affairs bureau.
Ye Feng took the two people's documents, looked them over, then suddenly chuckled and pushed them back.
"We won't process it."
Those three simple words silenced the noisy hall once more.
Shen Guyun's eyes instantly turned sinister, and a sword aura powerful enough to cut through fine steel pulsed from his fingertips.
"Say that again? Do you know who I am? I can make this building disappear from the map of Shanghai with just one word!"
"Who you are is not important. What is important is that the red line above your head is black."
Ye Feng slowly removed his glasses, his gaze sharp. "You cultivate the path of killing with swords, and you want to marry her to break through your bottleneck by using her 'Mysterious Yin Body,' and then refine it afterward. This kind of marriage that is about scheming for money and murder is not allowed by my seal."
Leng Ningyue's delicate body trembled violently as she looked at Shen Guyun in disbelief. This matter was a top secret of the Sword Pavilion; how did this lowly clerk find out?
"court death!"
Enraged, Shen Guyun formed a sword with her fingers, and a dazzling golden sword light shot straight towards Ye Feng's throat like a thunderclap.
Ordinary people around couldn't see the movements at all; they only felt a gust of wind.
However.
Ye Feng didn't move at all. He simply picked up the steel seal on the table and pressed it lightly into the air like a stamp.
"Separate cause and effect. Disperse."
boom--!
The sword light, powerful enough to tear apart an armored vehicle, melted away silently the moment it touched the shadow of the steel stamp, like snow meeting the blazing sun.
Not only that, Shen Guyun felt an indescribable force pressing down on his shoulders, instantly depleting the spiritual energy within his body.
"Kneel down."
Ye Feng uttered two words.
Bang!
The dignified young master of the Sword Pavilion actually slammed his knees heavily onto the tiled floor in full view of everyone, creating spiderweb-like cracks in the ground.
"Ali, there's a troublemaker here, let's deal with him."
"Alright, Captain!"
A burly man in a security guard uniform with a "Civilized Behavior Guide" sign around his neck walked over, carrying a large mop. It was Hu Yanli.
He somehow acquired a set of clothes exuding a sense of justice, and with one hand, he lifted Shen Guyun up like a dead dog.
"Heh heh, the guy who's pulling knives and guns at the registration desk, he clearly hasn't had nine years of compulsory education. Go, squat down next to the trash can by the door, and wait until they close for the day. Then I'll teach you what 'civilized dating' really means."
Hu Yanli casually tossed it, and Shen Guyun transformed into a shooting star, landing precisely in the flower bed outside the gate with an extremely standard posture.
Leng Ningyue stared blankly at Ye Feng, her usually cold face filled with shock.
"Senior...you..."
"You too." Ye Feng put his glasses back on, his expression calm. "What's the point of cultivating the Path of Severing Emotions? Is it fun to turn yourself into a stone? Take your things and go. Marriage is in the East, not in these kinds of transactions."
Leng Ningyue bowed deeply, then turned and gracefully departed.
This scene was witnessed by everyone present and transmitted back to the ears of various powerful forces across the heavens through some hidden cameras.
"Heavenly secrets...that's a manifestation of heavenly secrets!" "That clerk is definitely an immortal who has mastered the 'Great Way of Marriage'!" "Quick! Send all those unmarried holy maidens from the sect, or even those who want to cultivate the Path of Heartlessness, to the Demon Capital! Line them up! Even if they have to be cleaners, they have to make an appearance in that window!"
In less than half a day, the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau was in complete chaos.
afternoon.
Luxury cars lined up for five kilometers outside the Civil Affairs Bureau building.
The once quiet marriage registration office was now packed with all sorts of beautiful women. There were celestial princesses dressed in flowing fairy gowns, otherworldly magic gods carrying enormous staffs, and even several beast queens with cat ears and fox tails.
They were quiet and well-behaved, like elementary school students, each holding a number tag.
"Number 39, come in."
Ye Feng called out.
The woman who entered was dressed in modern office attire, yet she couldn't conceal the terrifying aura emanating from her, as vast as a prison and as deep as the sea. She was the "Netherworld Queen" from the Abyss Plane, a ruthless character who had once slaughtered ten star systems in a fit of rage.
At this moment, the empress blushed and awkwardly placed a portrait on the counter.
"Um... Mr. Ye, I'd like to have my marriage fortune told."
"Go to the fortune-telling stall next door to find out about your marriage prospects." Ye Feng didn't even look up. "I only handle paperwork here."
"Then… I want to get a certificate from the person in this picture." The Queen pointed to the portrait.
Ye Feng glanced at it and realized that the portrait depicted him... himself.
"..." Ye Feng was silent for two seconds. "This person is missing, so we can't proceed. Next one."
"But..."
"Ali, please ask this lady who is trying to illegally obtain a certificate to leave."
"Alright! Your Majesty, please? Will you walk by yourself, or shall I take you there with a mop?" Huyan Li smiled broadly.
The Netherworld Queen gritted her teeth, but in the end, she didn't dare to lash out in front of Ye Feng and could only leave resentfully.
Over the next few days, Ye Feng became the most sought-after "matchmaker" in the entire universe.
Even if two races are sworn enemies, as long as Ye Feng stamps their documents, their fortunes will miraculously merge, and the original blood feud will turn into a "happy couple"; even if a pair of star-crossed lovers are destined to die young, as long as Ye Feng adds a drop of his own blood to the inkpad, their lifespan will instantly increase, and they will live until the universe collapses.
In an instant, the red booklet that Ye Feng had covered became the most precious "talisman" in all the heavens and myriad realms.
Some even say that getting a marriage certificate personally processed by Ye Feng is like getting a ticket to "eternity".
This phenomenal situation naturally attracted the attention of those in power.
High-ranking officials of the Dragon Kingdom, and even the "Causal Monitors" hidden in the shadows, all descended upon the country.
On this day, three figures dressed in black robes and shrouded in chaotic mist appeared before Window 3. They were the "arbitrators," representing the laws of this world.
"Ye Feng, you have interfered excessively in worldly marriages and disrupted the order of cause and effect, which has violated taboos."
The lead adjudicator's voice was icy, like that of an emotionless machine: "Hand over the Seal of Cause and Effect, and come back with us to the 'Void of Annihilation' for trial."
The temperature in the hall plummeted, and the surrounding air seemed to freeze instantly.
Ye Feng finally stopped stamping the steel seal in his hand.
He slowly raised his head, and at that moment, his eyes behind his glasses unleashed a terrifying beam of light capable of crushing an era.
"Taboo?"
Ye Feng stood up, and in that instant, the white shirt he was wearing seemed to transform into an invulnerable Chaos Emperor's Robe.
"The cause and effect of all these realms was originally drawn by me. I can tie the knot for whomever I want. You few 'antivirus software' derived from the Heavenly Dao dare to challenge me?"
Ye Feng made no fancy moves.
He simply picked up the ordinary steel seal and made a feint at the three judges.
"This poke will last you forever."
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Three muffled thuds.
The once cold and ruthless judges, in that instant, transformed their black robes into red wedding attire.
Even more bizarrely, the three people, who were originally unrelated, are now looking at each other with an intense and undeniable "bromance" and "love" in their eyes.
"Oh my god... this feeling is..." "Big brother, I've realized I love you to death..." "Second brother, me too..."
Three judges representing the highest law actually hugged each other and wept bitterly in the lobby of the Civil Affairs Bureau. Then, hand in hand, they flew away singing "Little Love Song".
The entire site was petrified.
Ye Feng clapped his hands and sat down again.
"What are you looking at? Never seen the Heavenly Dao being gay before? Next one!"
Just then.
Suddenly, a spectacular display of color appeared outside the Civil Affairs Bureau building, with rose petals falling from the sky.
Three stunningly beautiful figures, dressed in pristine white wedding gowns, slowly walked into the hall.
Ning Rongrong wore a gentle expression, Su Jiu'er smiled alluringly, and Xiao Wu skipped and hopped ahead. Each of the three of them held a new registration application form in their hands.
"Ye Feng, are you addicted to being a 'matchmaker'?" Ning Rongrong walked to the counter, looking at him with a smile. "I heard you've approved quite a few 'exclusive partner' slots for fairies these past few days?"
"Ahem! That's business, business!" Ye Feng felt a chill run down his spine, and he almost dropped the steel seal in his hand.
"Really? Then Your Majesty, don't you think we should also go through our 'annual inspection' these past few months?" Su Jiu'er leaned closer, pressing the white veil over her chest against the counter, her eyes flashing with a dangerous red light. "Or perhaps, you want to try getting yourself a 'divorce certificate'?"
"No! My dear wives, I'm absolutely innocent!"
"Whether you're innocent or not, we'll talk about it when we get home." Xiao Wu grabbed Ye Feng's ear, her movements so practiced it was almost heartbreaking.
"Wait a minute! I haven't gotten off work yet!"
"What do you mean 'off work'? It's Saturday today, the Civil Affairs Bureau is closed!"
"But those saintesses are still in line..."
"Let them wait! If they dare to stamp things haphazardly again, we'll confiscate their official seal!"
Under the horrified yet envious gazes of countless powerful beings, saints, and goddesses from other worlds.
Emperor Ye, who controls all marriages and makes even the judges gay, once again transformed into a magnificent streak of light, chased by three goddesses in wedding dresses, flying directly from the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau to the romantic Aurora Peak.
I am Ye Feng. I can seal a lifetime with a single seal, and I can stir up the mortal world with a single stroke. In this marriage registration office, I am the only matchmaker. But the most unpredictable marriage in my life is the 'time bomb' of these three ancestors beside me!
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