i called you my best friend
just to remind myself
that you weren't more than that.
just a friend.
just a name in the group chat.
just someone i used to laugh with.
i tried,
i really fucking tried
to be loyal.
to be distant.
to be hers.
but then i saw you.
standing by the street.
looking around,
confused,
half-lost,
your hands clutching your bag
like it could hold your fear too.
cars flying,
horns screaming—
and you,
just trying to cross.
and fuck.
i broke.
i pulled up beside you,
helmet still on.
i said,
"get on."
you hesitated.
but you always trusted me
more than you should've.
you climbed on.
held me lightly.
and i drove—
just across the damn road.
you said,
"thanks."
i didn't answer.
just smiled,
revved the engine,
and left.
because i promised—
i promised not to talk to you.
not to look at you.
not to need you.
and in three seconds,
i broke that fucking promise.
again.