"Yeah—pretty much the kind of riding you're imagining. Like riding a horse."
Jovian lifted an eyebrow at the female astronaut.
"By the way, are you basically done with the scans?"
"I mean—are you done with the geology survey on Mars?"
He didn't linger on the "riding" topic and moved on.
"Mostly," one of the astronauts said. "But we want to go deeper. Since we're here, we want to take advantage of the opportunity and explore Mars properly."
"No need," Jovian said, waving a hand.
"No need? This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!" the astronaut argued, unwilling to give it up.
"I'm telling you, that astronaut—you don't need to explore any further. Get back inside your ship and lift off."
Jovian's face stayed calm, almost peaceful.
"WTF? Did you all hear that? The guy snapped, instantly offended. "What is that supposed to mean? That's disrespect! I'm going back to report him!"
"What? I just said 'that astronaut, not some insult."
Jovian didn't bother explaining further.
"Now the three of you—take this idiot back to the capsule. Right now. Immediately."
His tone left zero room for debate.
"Your wording really wasn't appropriate, kid," the lead astronaut said, still wearing a warm, kindly expression. "That was uncalled for. I expect you to sincerely apologize to my colleague."
"Fuck!"
"So you're disrespectful too!"
The offended astronaut fumed and sprinted toward the spacecraft.
"Shit!"
"Go after him!"
The other three panicked—worried he'd do something stupid in a rage—and hurried after him.
Just like that, all four astronauts returned to the ship.
A world where only one astronaut got hurt was born.
With the astronauts safely back inside the spacecraft, Jovian rolled his shoulders and loosened up.
Time to start his real work.
Inside the ship…
"You just wait! The second I get back to Earth, I'm exposing what you did to me! I'm going to make the whole world see how disgusting you really are!"
The offended astronaut yelled at the other three, shaking with anger.
"Alright, calm down—we're heroes," the lead astronaut said casually while starting up the spacecraft.
"And you'd better practice your smile for when we step off the ship. Smile~"
"Fuck you—and you—and you!"
The offended astronaut raised a universally recognized "friendly gesture" at all three of them.
"RUMMMBLE!"
The ship didn't pause for his outrage. With a deep roar, it slowly lifted off and headed into the sky.
"By the way… we only recorded like one-tenth of the planned data. Is that really okay?" the female astronaut asked.
"Whatever. If anything goes wrong, we just blame Freeman~" the lead astronaut said without a care.
"…"
The female astronaut fell quiet. She couldn't stop thinking about what Jovian had said—about how they didn't need to keep surveying.
Down on the Martian surface, Jovian watched the spacecraft leave Mars and climb into the sky.
"Alright," he said, cracking his neck. "Time to move."
"Kchk…"
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap…
Just as Jovian was about to act, a set of footsteps approached. A group of aliens—riding elephant-like creatures, gripping spear-like weapons, and shaped like walking bean pods—charged toward him.
"Martians?"
Jovian stared at the bean-pod-looking figures and thought of one person: Martian Man, the original Guardians of the Globe member that he and his dad—Omni-Man Nolan—had torn to pieces.
These Martians looked exactly like Martian Man. So he really had been from Mars.
Not that it mattered.
"Martian Man—you won't be lonely much longer," Jovian muttered, shaking his head like he was paying tribute. "I'm about to send your people to join you."
"Earthling—what are you muttering about?" the Martian in front demanded, eyes full of hostility. "Tell us why you've come to Mars."
"Cecil sent me here to kill you," Jovian replied without missing a beat.
"Cecil?"
The Martians looked at each other, clearly having no idea who he meant.
"Remember that name," Jovian said. "When you get to hell, don't forget to curse him. By the way—do aliens go to hell?"
"Kill him!!"
"Fire!"
They didn't need to know who Cecil was to understand one thing: Jovian was the enemy.
In an instant, a rain of energy fire lit up the sky—shooting straight at Jovian.
"Full power release."
Jovian didn't move at all.
A horrifying surge of energy detonated outward from his body.
In a single heartbeat, the pure white radiance spread across the Martian surface.
"Ki—"
The armed Martians didn't even finish the word. The moment they touched that concentrated light, they melted away—completely erased.
"BOOM!"
And it didn't stop there.
Mars itself began to dissolve under Jovian's outburst…
Deep beneath Mars…
Seated on a towering throne, the Martian Emperor was shaking inside. He stared at his world—bathed in that light—and his face turned the sickly yellow of an old dried bean.
"What's happening—"
He didn't get to finish.
The light swallowed him.
Body and soul—gone.
"Skree-skree-skree!"
Squid-like parasites—creatures that looked disturbingly like facehuggers—chattered and squealed, relying on instinct to flee from the white glow that dissolved everything.
But Mars was huge, and still there was nowhere to hide.
When the light sealed off every direction, the parasites stopped trying to think at all. They rushed straight into the glow—charging toward "heaven."
Out in space, the astronauts—already beyond Mars's gravity—stared at the planet slowly melting away.
Their mouths hung open.
In front of Mars, every living thing looked small.
In front of Jovian, Mars looked fragile—pathetically small.
"…"
The female astronaut didn't say anything at first.
But she finally understood why Jovian had told them there was no point in going deeper. Mars was gone—what the fuck was the point of collecting data now?
"So… these rocks in our hands aren't Mars samples," she said, lifting a red stone. "They're Mars's remains."
"Fuck… this is fucking insane."
The offended astronaut watched Mars vanish into white light, completely rattled.
And the moment he saw that impossible, terrifying spectacle, he gave up on the idea of reporting Jovian for insulting him.
Whatever.
Let him insult me.
Staying alive mattered more.
Three minutes later…
"My cannon wasn't even fired—how is Mars already gone?"
Jovian frowned at the empty space where the planet had been.
He still had energy left to burn.
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