Sigh…
The bank clerk took the charred bills back from the police officer and let out a helpless sigh. He genuinely didn't understand why these idiots kept targeting their bank…
Sometimes the clerk was almost moved by the robbers' dedication. They knew there was no way they were ever walking out of a city packed with superheroes with any cash—yet they still kept coming back, again and again…
Were they nostalgic for county lockup's Thursday free chicken-and-mac trays or something?!
…Honestly, it wasn't impossible. For a moment, the lowly bank clerk felt like he'd uncovered the robbers' little secret.
Lockup didn't sound that bad, really. Who wouldn't want free food, free clothes, a little room, and a few "nice-sounding" roommates?
As long as you watched yourself in the shower and didn't drop the soap, everything else sounded pretty decent.
"USA! USA!"
Right as the clerk was spiraling into nonsense, he heard someone shouting.
"Huh?"
Confused, the bank clerk looked toward the guy yelling "USA! USA!"
A man stood at the bank entrance, looking like a complete disaster: his shirt buttons were fastened wrong, his hair looked like a bird's nest, his belt was loose like it was about to fall off at any second—and most importantly, his fly was wide open.
In one hand he was clutching a sandwich. In the other, a phone. And he was shouting like he'd just won the Super Bowl.
Everyone in the bank called this sloppy mess "Old John." He was the bank's only security guard…
Looking at Old John, the clerk suddenly understood why the robbers kept picking their bank. Their security was so pathetic it gave even the most hopeless criminals a flicker of confidence—like a beam of light in the dark.
If the manager would just spend a little more money and hire a few younger, more professional guards, it would probably cut the robbery rate in half.
"Hey…"
"What were you yelling—what 'USA' thing?"
The clerk asked Old John.
"Gulp, gulp, gulp…"
Old John popped open the strap on the holster at his waist, pulled out a small bottle of whiskey, and chugged a few swallows. Then he walked over, phone in hand.
"We Earthlings finally made it to Mars!"
Old John played a rocket launch video on his phone for the clerk.
"Oh."
The clerk's reaction was completely flat. He didn't seem interested at all. Compared to a rocket launch, he cared about something else way more.
"You're drinking that on the job?"
The clerk's voice went cold.
"Of course!"
Old John looked at the whiskey in his hand and nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world.
"Don't you think you're being ridiculous? You have zero professionalism."
The clerk scolded him.
"Eh…"
Old John didn't argue. He just obediently lay down on the floor.
"Hey! You're seriously lying on the floor now? I'm reporting you to the manager—"
The clerk was furious.
Thunk!
Before he could finish, a sharp pain exploded in his head. His vision went black, and he collapsed unconscious.
"Don't move! This is a robbery!!"
A fresh batch of robbers stormed into the bank.
"Heh…"
Old John glanced at the fainted clerk and sneered. Working security in this dump—if he didn't drink whiskey in the morning, he couldn't do it at all…
"Fuck! Boss, it's Omni-Man!"
"Don't be scared of him! I don't believe some damn superhero can—"
"AAAAHHH!!"
Amid the shrill screams, the same scene played out at the bank entrance yet again—repeating, looping, cycling like a curse.
Just like that Bible line in Ecclesiastes about how what's happened before will happen again…
Meanwhile, as the rocket climbed into space, Jovian let out a lazy yawn. He was sitting on top of the rocket's nosecone with his eyes closed.
The rocket was just too slow. While it crawled toward Mars, he figured he'd catch a quick nap. In the silent vacuum of space, Jovian finally got a rare moment of peace and quiet.
Unlike Jovian—who was used to space—the four astronauts inside the spacecraft were like excited kids, constantly staring out the window. Some of them were in space for the first time. Others had been before, but rarely this far from Earth.
They treasured the opportunity. Not everyone gets to leave the planet on nothing but flesh and bone.
A rocket ride into space was the kind of thing you might only get once in a lifetime.
BOOM!
With a heavy roar, the spacecraft successfully landed on Mars.
"Hm?"
Hearing the sound, Jovian slowly opened his eyes. He stretched and kept sitting on top of the ship.
Kchk—
The hatch opened, and the astronauts climbed down carrying instruments.
"Here… and here…"
They studied the surface material, collecting samples and discussing their findings.
"Aaah…"
Up above, Jovian yawned again.
"Let's bring this stuff back to the ship first, then—"
The lead astronaut had collected enough rocks and turned around to head back. He lifted his instruments, looked at the spacecraft behind him… and his words died in his throat.
Because sitting on the top of the ship was a huge man in a tight black-and-white suit—waving at him.
"Morning, ladies and gentlemen."
Jovian gave them a casual greeting.
"Who are you?!" The lead astronaut clearly didn't recognize him.
"Whoa—it's Freeman!"
"He's Omni-Man's son!"
The only female astronaut blurted it out, then lowered her voice to fill the others in.
"Freeman? Did he change his suit?"
With her reminder, the others finally recognized him too.
"Freeman… what are you doing here?" the lead astronaut asked.
"Two things," Jovian replied. "Keep you safe—and keep you from wandering off. Mars is a lot more dangerous than you think."
"So the government hired us a babysitter?" the astronaut said doubtfully.
"Not exactly," Jovian said evenly. "GDA Director Cecil Stedman hired you a chaperone-in-chief."
"Uh…"
The astronauts went quiet. They were all older than Jovian—one of them had two full decades on him—yet now they were the "kids" he was supposed to supervise.
"Honestly, I don't care why you're here," the female astronaut said, trying to change the subject. "I'm more curious how you even got here."
"Me? Same way you did," Jovian said, gesturing at the ship behind him. "I rode the spacecraft."
"Really? Then why didn't we ever see you inside?" She stared at him. The ship wasn't exactly big. If he'd been on board, there was no way they wouldn't have run into him.
"Of course you didn't see me," Jovian said calmly. "You were riding inside the spacecraft."
"I was riding outside the spacecraft."
"Basically, I've been sitting on it the whole time."
"WTF?! You rode it like that?! Like—like literally riding it? Like a horse?!"
Her eyes went wide. In that moment, she finally understood what it really meant when people said humans weren't all built the same.
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