"I am Mars, so open the door." I lie.
"Welcome Shepherd, door has not been opened in thirty-six years, previously opened by Lion S Loxwell. Opening door."
It creaks and squeaks, as the door slides open, retracting itself into the wall. I walk through onto a giant command center, skeletons sit in the chairs, only one corpse looks to not have rotted. It leys on the main command console, a hole bitten out of its stomach. He holds it, an expression of pain still eminent on his face. "Who is that?" I ask.
"That is first Lieutenant Lion S Loxwell, member of the blue roses unit, he has successfully fulfilled nine hundred and twenty missions. His reported kill count is two hundred thousand infected. Currently stationed in main headquarters, current mission, retrieve specimen no six. Blue Bird has reported his safe return, and assures me he is ready for any necessary missions."
"Who is Blue Bird?"
"Blue Bird is the head AI in charge of controlling all mechanical forces in the region of the Free Country. We still maintain a consistent connection, and share all vital information." Dawn stares at me with a different camera.
Smiling, I make my way to Lion, and begin to rummage through his pockets. Some cigarettes, a photo of a young girl, and a combat knife. I can't get his breast pocket with his arms like this. I grab his hand, jumping back as I feel a pinch. Looking down at my hand, a small metal bit is shining from the top.
A laser shines onto the wall, as a robotic voice speaks. "Welcome user, to the ZSS, the zombie slaying system. Founded by the brilliant professor Nox, this system uses an AI to reward hardworking soldiers. Warning someone uploaded interfering documents. Hello kid." The voice changes to that of a man. "Fuck, whoever you are," he laughs, " I just played the greatest prank ever. I wish I was alive to see it. Yeah I broke the AI, it took countless hours of tinkering, so you should be impressed. Before it would offer vehicles, weapons, and more. Now, well I don't want to ruin the surprise. I wish I could see your face. I mean hey, it's not all bad stuff, I put my engineering and robotics degrees to use. Loxwell signing off." The voice switches back to a robot. "Please look to the laser display." It lights up like a mobile game, effects playing everywhere. "This is your… gotcha machine." Why did it stutter?
In the middle of the screen, is one massive gotcha machine, it separates into three. Noob, lucky, and god.
What is this shit? Wait, on the bottom it lists what is needed, ten mana cores for the noob, one thousand for the lucky, and eighty supreme cores for the god. I can't get a supreme core, let alone eighty. You have to kill a high level undead just to even get a chance to get one. This is dog shit. Ten cores is doable though, so I guess I start with that.
Wait why am I thinking like I should use this? Well, why shouldn't I? I have a cheat on my side. I begin to laugh.
All you handsome fucks, get out of my way. Cheng Wu is the new top dog in the block. I walk with swagger, knocking open the empty lockers. "I am the greatest, oh I am the greatest."
"Hello." Dawn speaks. "I am an AI, code named Dawn. I do not detect an identification badge, if you have lost your badge please return to the surface, and speak with professor Nox. If you do not have an identification badge, please return to the surface. If it is an emergency, place your eye upon the scanner for easy verification."
I turn to see the doll like girl, she glares me down. "So you're Cheng Wu, to think your father was a big shot, and you're just a worthless peeping tom."
"You're the woman who tried to nuder me." I clutch my still aching balls.
She pulls out the sacred middle finger. "Leave me alone."
I gape at this lunacy. "You came to me?"
"Stalker." She turns away walking back up the stairs. "Go fuck yourself."
"I can't, remember, I don't have balls!" I scream back. A rush of pain returns to my nuts, as if my precious babies remember what she did to them. It's okay, I shush them, there is no need to cry. I won't let that mean lady near you two again.
"Fuck." I hobble my way up the steps.
Let's do the math. Fuck math, I just want to go kill some infected. Calm it on down, if I make it to the top, I should bump into someone. Then I use them to get mana cores, and once I have mana cores, I can throw them away. It is as simple as that.
Reaching the exit I move further up the stairs. It was as many steps as below, reaching the top is a secondary command center. Why would they have needed two? Strange, really strange. With it is a barracks, medical facilities and a girl standing over a pile of undead. She turns to me, her four swords jiggling as she peaks through her glacis.
"And who might you be?" She tilts her head.
A chill runs down my spine. This girl is bad news. "Cheng Wu, and you?"
She smiles, calmly walking over the corpses to grab my hands. "Mei Fang." She moves my hands through the air. "I was getting worried I would spend the first night alone but looks like I got someone to watch my back."
My lip trembles, and my eye twitches. "You're the vice admiral's daughter." That is bad, I have shit luck.
"That's right." Her smile grows. "Daddy is the one in charge of this operation."
Those swords, those are some expensive shit. They use mana cores to cut through enemies like butter. One of them could fetch me a thousand mana cores easy. If I steal just one, I can roll the lucky spin. Fuck, my hands are getting itchy.
"Can I touch one?" I reach for the sword.
She steps back leaning down to stare at my hand. "Daddy said no one is allowed to."
I stand up straight, clearing my throat. "Yeah, makes sense."
"Here Cheng Wu." Mei Fang slides a satchel from her back, tossing it onto the ground. "If we are to survive the night, we should be well prepared."
I pick it up, sliding my hand through the fifteen cores. "I can have these?"
She nods, spinning over the corpses. "A small price to pay for a talented friend."
Talented? If I was fucking talented, I would be using the falling lightning sects technecks right now. But hey, she doesn't need to know that.
"End of hour two." My arm band speaks. "Ranking eighth."
I am ranked eighth? And did hers say second? Who is better than this freak? Guanyu might be number one, but right now it is hard to say.
I slide a mana core into my gun, restuffing it in my pocket.
"Hey Mei Fang, I gotta take a shit." I start to walk away.
"It's not safe, why don't I come with you?" She grabs my arm.
I sigh. "I can take a dump without your supervision." I slide my hand free.
With a skip I run down the flight of stairs. Arriving at the bottom, I tap the metal, and it spurs into life. Showing the gotcha machans. I am feeling lucky. I tap the wall, and an animation begins to play.
"Please present your mana cores." It speaks. Chucking them to the floor, a laser scans over them. "Wait one moment."
What's that buzzing sound? A drone swopes in, nabbing the mana cores, and flies away.
"The fuck?" I question, as a wheel begins to spin in front of me. It is mostly bronze with a few silvers, and one gold
It spins around and around, slowing down, it comes closer, and closer to gold. Move move. I blow on it. It lands bronze, then silver, and finally gold, before passing it by a millimeter.
"Congrats on silver." Loxwell speaks to me. "Let's see what you got." The gotcha machine shakes, and out comes a capsule. It pops open revealing a grey cat. "Oh fuck yeah, this thing took me ten years to make, welcome tabby. Make sure to feed him five mana cores a day, or you might not have a cat anymore, Loxwell signing off."
He isn't even a tabby you bitch, five mana cores as well, do you want to bankrupt me? "Fuck you Loxwell!" I could have got some sick ass weapon or something, not this stupid ass shit.