The final bell of the day rings and I heave a deep sigh. I called Larry at lunch to tell him I'll be going out with friends and he sounded genuinely shocked when he said "Friends? As in plural?"
I roll my eyes. "For ease of reference."
He tells me it's alright but he needs me back home by 6. I say okay and hang up, feeling a mix of excitement and dread about going out with two girls I barely know.
All my limbs quake as I make my way to my locker. I put my books away and make sure I have all my homework with me ('cause, of course, if Nikki were here I would totally forget about all this). I spend the next couple minutes pretending to text somebody important like that to stop myself from pacing around and looking dumb and jobless.
"Hey!" Nikki greets heading my way with the other two girls (who, of course look as put together as they were this morning while have a couple ketchup stains and mild B.O.). "Hold on while I get my stuff!"
"Hi," Anna waves slightly, before smoothly pushing her bangs out of her eyes. She's giving Yumeko Jabami, but with orange hair and freckles.
"Hello," Hermione mouths, twitching an eyebrow and— was that a wink?!
I can't tell.
Flirty much, my idiot brain purrs, forcing me to mentally face palm.
I hate you! You're always so embarrassing.
Just doing my job m'lady.
I roll my eyes at myself. The hallway feels so hot and and uncomfortable to be in, and it's not doing me much better to be in such close proximity with my all-time biggest crushie ever!
And, of course, Nikki's gotta be here, too. I groan internally with frustration and affection as I watch her dig around in her locker.
And, yes, the Alvarados just happen to have an SUV waiting outside ready to take us out. I'm jealous.
And they also have all their stuff ready to go in their bags right on time.
Oh, to be them...
"Hi Anna-Kat! Hey Hermione! Hi Nikki!" a spotty red-haired 7th grader screeches as she speeds past after her friend.
Come to think of it, I have a lot of fingers in my life. Wow.
"Hi!" the three chorus.
At least five more people pass by us and greet them, but only one notices and acknowledges my presence. It's one of those guys in my grade who I've never spoken to, but he knows my name for some reason.
*Ahem—Nikki*
He's one of those "sigma boys" that mew and sit alone by choice and wear shades indoors while quoting anime like its religious texts.
He walks up to us, nods at Hermione and Anna-Kat like they are all homies, then holds out his fist to me. "Hey Anya. What happens?"
I bump it feebly. "Uh... I'm good, I guess."
"Sharp. Hey Nixie!"
Nikki pokes her head out of her locker. "Hey my guy. What up?" They share a brief side hug and then fist bump.
"Mrs. Anderson wants to see you." He shrugs apologetically as Nikki's smile drops and is replaced with pure dismay. "Sorry. See y'all around, then." He pulls down his baseball hat over his eyes and starts swaggering away.
Nikki lets out a loud groan and bumps the back of her head against the locker. "Ugh!"
"What is it?" I ask, but she doesn't reply. She just starts rolling down her sleeves and trying hard to lengthen her skirt. "Anya, let me borrow your socks, please!" she begs while staring at my knee-high pastel pink socks.
"What are you wanted for?" Hermione asks, casually looking at the watch on her wrist and shaking off the hair that falls into her eyes with such grace and effortless poise that I immediately draw in a breath.
Sigh...
Oh, to be her, sighs my jealous little brain.
"It's my hair. She's been on my back for weeks about it," Nikki sighs in exasperation. "And now she's calling for ne on the day I wore such a shirt skirt! Ugh!"
"Well then,"I suggest, "just go in your regular color."
Nikki makes an exaggerated disgusted face. "And walk around with that nasty custard-yellow mop on top of my head?! I'd rather be skinned alive while being forced to listen to Taylor Swift!"
I sigh again and catch Anna-Kat chuckle behind her hands. A couple people bump my shoulder as they go past, not even stopping to look back at me or even throw a sorry. The other girls throw a couple more "his" at random people and Hermione checks her watch again (why is she always doing that though?).
"We need to leave now. Angus must be waiting."
"Oh!!" Anna-Kat groans. "Angus! I always ask him to stop being so early."
Hermione shrugs. "He insists and—oh, hey! I'm good, you?"
Nikki slams her locker door shut, barely missing my ear. "So, y'all are going out now without me," she says sulkily. "Oh well. Have fun guys."
The fact hits hard. WITHOUT you?!
"We will," Hermione says with a dazzling smile. "Let's go, Anya." She takes hold of my hand and grins warmly at me as my anxious little belly breaks all Olympic records for women's gymnastics inside my body, very much without my consent.
Nikki taps my nose. "See ya, mama. Boop!" And then she roughly throws her backpack over her shoulder, sprinting away from us down the hallway toward the administrative wing.
"Wait! The socks!"
She doesn't hear me.
My breath hitches. I'm alone. With these girls. Without Nikki!!!
Don't fuck up! Don't fuck up!! DON'T FUCK UP!!!
Hermione gently tugs at my arm and I follow behind her down the hallway. I notice Anna-Kat giving me a few sideways glances, looking at least mildly amused. I don't know if anyone notices but I am sweating very badly down my back and sides and hands and I want to die.
Of all days, Nikki. Of all days.
Fucking go to hell for this.
I'm led over to a black SUV parked in the lot. Hermione lets go of my hand, opens the front passenger door, and slides in. "Get in," she says cooly before shutting the door.
I reach for the door handle, but Anna-Kat reaches it before me. Her head turns to me and her eyes widen apologetically. "Oop! Sorry. Let me." She opens the door and gestures for me to go in before me.
I feel my heart start racing and my cheeks get hot. "Uh... thank you," I mutter before clumsily climbing in. She gets in after me and smiles as my shaky ahh hands struggle to fix my seat belt.
Why am I being so stupid today??!!
"Hi Angus," Anna says to the man seated in the driver's seat. He seems very tall, and he's thin, dressed in black with thin square glasses sitting on his nose. He doesn't give more of an answer than a cold, unbothered grunt. Anna shrugs at me and pulls a book out of her backpack.
I squint at the cover and I immediately blurt out. "Hey! I read that last summer."
She looks up and grins. "Oh? You did? That's nice. It's pretty good."
"Yes, it is," I say stiffly, feeling shy again. She's actually noticing me.
Anna-Kat gives me a smug sideways grin. "I was never told you liked erotica."
My cheeks flush and I instinctively clap my hands over my ears and turn away to the window. I do not turn back for the rest of the car ride, being fully aware of the emotional implication. The air con is on full blast, and the car smells like Febreze Clean & Fresh on max. There is the muffled sound of traffic outside and I stare into it as it moves past, hoping it would take me away with it.
My ears catch whispering and Hermione bursting out laughing follows. "It's okay, Anya. She reads WAY dirtier than that. Trust me." I don't reply though.
"Where did you say you wanted to be again?" Angus asks in a nicer-sounding voice than I expected.
"Asia Land," Hermione answers, waving him off nonchalantly as she looks me up and down with obvious interest.
"Ooh!" Anna-Kat exclaims cutely. "ASIA LAND!"
YES!! I mentally scream. We're going to I and Nikki's fave Koreo resto!! She must have suggested this. I smile happily.
When we arrive, we find a cozy little corner and sit down. I take in the smells and the steady hum of voices coming from the people around us, and I immediately feel calmer and more grounded. Hermione reaches for the menu, then stops and pushes it toward Anna-Kat. Anna replies her pleading look with a smug one as a waiter I've never seen before walks over to us.
Anna orders chicken teriyaki while Hermione asks for jjajangmyeon. The waiter turns to me. "What would you like?"
I stare at the menu, suddenly unsure of what the word "like" means anymore. Anna-Kat answers for me in the smoothest tone that makes me swoon. "She would like some mochi. Am I right?" She turns to me and I give a shy nod. The waiter scribbles down our orders and promises (with a very pretty smile, too) to have out orders ready.
God! Everyone's smiling at me today.
"So," Hermione says when the waiter is gone, staring right at me. "What else do you do other than read?"
"Uh... me?" I stutter.
"Yeah. You," she answers, unfazed.
"Uh... I can draw."
"Oh," Anna cuts in. "Me too. Twin!" she squeals as her face squishes into a big smile that makes her eyes disappear. I just want to reach out and pinch her cutie cheeks but, of course, I do not.
I'm not ick like that. I have self control.
"Yeah, twin!" I smile back at her, feeling very tingly.
I turn back to Hermione. "What do you do? Do you read as well."
"Oh no!" she says waving her hands to land her point. "I do NOT read."
"Oh?"
"Yeah," Anna says. "She can't read."
"I'm dyslexic," Hermione explains.
I blink.
"Oh?" I say not knowing what to say. "Oh."
"Yeah," she chuckles. "Anna reads menus for me." She tosses a half-affectionate glance toward a proud-looking Anna-Kat. "So embarrassing."
Anna gives the peace sign. "Always ready to humiliate you!"
"That's... unexpected," I mutter, my anxiety fizzling slowly. I now see Hermione in a new light, and she starts being more of a tangible person to me now and less like that abstract, unreachable diva.
Well... now she is tangible. Sort-of reachable now, I guess. Diva, but real.
I don't know why, but knowing this just makes me feel a bit better. Like, she's not that flawless and ethereal in an intimidating way anymore.
I dunno. It's hard to put into words. Lol.
God! I sound so ableist.
"I hate books," Hermione says flatly. "They've always been those demons that haunt me relentlessly every year of my life that I remember." She bites her lip and sucks in some air. "So happy I'm not home-schooled anymore."
"Oh you," Anna teases. "It couldn't have been that bad." She touches her shoulder playfully.
Hermione gives her the side eye and Anna explodes laughing. I giggle a bit, very much enjoying this.
Our food arrives, and the conversations shifts. "Thanks," Hermione says, smiling at the waiter. Then she turns to me and says, "Alright. Let's eat!"
"Yess!" Anna-Kat whisper-shouts victoriously in her heart-meltingly smooth voice as she clinks her metal chopsticks together. "Let us eat!"
And so, we do.