I try to maneuver my way around this man who has his big, sweaty belly filling the whole doorway but he shoves me back.
Guess I'm stuck in here now, I think in dismay as I look around. Everyone has fallen (mostly) quiet, and my limbs are shaking uncontrollably.
"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" he roars at us. The Vice Principal, a janitor, and the seventh grade ESL teacher who never minds her business peek around him into the bathroom to take in the utter chaos.
For some reason, I start crying. It starts as little sniffles at first, but then I upgrade into full-blown whimpers and sobs. Everyone starts looking very confused, and Andrea keeps filming. I want to snatch her phone away and stuff it in the toilet.
"Why are you crying?" the principal asks very harshly. My hands fist in my hair and I begin to pace and flap my hands uncontrollably. I'm having a full-blown emotional meltdown at the worst possible time.
Ugh!
Typical.
I cover my face with my hands.
I'm not really sure what happened next because I'm in a very confused and overwhelmed state. Maybe somebody pushed me. Or maybe I fell. But I do know that everyone is ordered to the office.
"Hey you! Whatever your name is!" the Vice Principal, the nasty old crone with too-small-for-her-face glasses who punished my best friend, shouts at me. "Get off the floor!"
I don't respond. I try to, but my body doesn't want to comply.
"What is her name?" she asks sharply, snapping her fingers at someone.
"Um, I think her name is Anna."
Anna? Really?!
"Hey you. Anna! Get off the floor."
I don't respond. I just keep crying. In a second, I feel someone yank my arm sharply so I'm forced to stand up. My ankle twists painfully, and I scream sharply.
"Oh, shut up!" the principal orders. "Kids these days," he mutters.
"Always playing the victim," the ESL teacher finishes as I get practically dragged out of the toilets.
All this while, mind you, I am dying of embarrassment. The girls walking in front of me throw mocking or pitiful glances over my shoulder (while at the same time glaring spitefully at each other).
Andrea, however, is right behind me, talking with her father about "animalistic behavior" and "disgusting school culture" .
I want to vomit.
I'm forced into a chair in the Vice Principal's office right next to Morgan (who, by the way, has now popped a wad of gum in her mouth and is chewing very aggressively). Miku Kid and the others are being verbally aggressive with each other. The two girls who had been innocently standing by the mirrors are complaining.
And somehow, it's all my fault.
Andrea and her friend are gone. I mean, of course they are.
I try box breathing to calm myself down. When I'm calmer, I actually start hearing what the others are saying.
"I just despise this Anna girl," somebody says. "Like what is she feeling like? Babe, you ain't fresh."
"Looks like fucking skibidi toilet."
"Crying for what reason, though? Like, bitch just mind your own business and quit staring and none of this would have happened."
"Nah, that one's the Vocaloid nerd's fault. Pretty sure she goons to Kaito!"
He he he he.
Very funny.
I lift my head to look up at the speakers and they're the girls at the mirrors. They aren't even trying to hide that they're talking shit about me. We make eye-contact and the way they eye me makes me want to shrink.
Morgan and her friends are mad at me and Miku Kid because now they won't be able to go out with their new boyfriends since they're def getting detention.
Thanks a lot.
Like, bitch, you wanna go play slut after school, maybe don't go around jumping people.
The principal and his vice step in (Andrea had called them outside earlier), and they all fall silent. Then, he begins to rant on and on about how we are irresponsible and stupid. Why were we screaming like that? Were we trying to kill each other? What were we thinking causing such a disruption? This is why even McDonald's would reject us and so on.
(You get the gist.)
Most of the others look bored. Some are playing with their hair or nails or the patterns on the hem of their skirts. Miku Kid just has her arms folded across her chest as she slides down all the way into her seat. She's trying so hard to be nonchalant, but I can see tears building up in her eyes.
And then, they face me.
"And you!" he says, catching me off guard. "I thought you were a good girl. You've always been so quiet. But that your friend, huh, influenced you. All you stubborn children who just will never behave right. Always breaking the rules and stressing your teachers. And now, you're fighting, right?"
"B-but I wasn't fighting!" I answer, feeling very stunned.
"Liar!" the heroin-chic blonde immediately shouts, getting up and pointing a crooked finger at me. "She jumped me!"
"And that other one too," said Morgan, pointing right at Miku Kid.
"Wait! WHAT?!" Miku Kid gasps. "Not true! Ask the others."
"Look here!" Morgan says, pointing at the red streaks on her cheek. "That girl did it!" She says, pointing at Miku Kid. "She hit me!"
"Because you blew nicotine air in my face!"
"What do you mean? When did you ever see drugs on me?"
At this point, I am genuinely shook. This level of lying and denial is unbelievable.
"What?!" Miku Kid exclaims. "Girl, you, you" she rambles while pointing at the three girls, "and you were busy smoking up in the corner." She turns to the Principal and the VP. "They had vape on them!"
"What is vape?" the VP asked sounding both disgusted and uniterested.
"It's a kind of electric cigarette!" Miku Kid explains.
"Liar!" the third gang girl interrupts. "The hell are you talking about."
"How are we sure you're not the one on drugs?"
Miku's face contorted into pure horror and confusion.
I turn to the other two girls. "Are you guys not gonna say something?"
"What are we gonna say?" the first one says. "Your problem, not mine. I wasn't involved, so I shall not comment. Period." She snaps her finger and does that sassy head thing typical af maybe Judge Judy.
Holy cringe.
"Listen," I finally say. " Andrea has a recording of what happened!"
I notice Morgan and her girls side eye me with so much venom. But I ignore them and keep going. "She was filming. She was there. She and another girl were recording everything. Check their phones."
"Are you trying to drag my daughter into this now?"
Really?! Your daughter?! Now I see where this is going.
"No! But she was there and I saw he and I --"
"Sit down."
"Huh?"
"He said sit," the VP spits, dragging the "s" and then accentuating the "t".
"Sit down!" Morgan scoffs as she pulls me down into my seat again.
"Ughhhh!!" I groan aloud. "Fuck this!"
"Language."
I grab my temples, trying to stop myself from hitting the back of my head against the wall again and again in utter frustration. I keep screaming in pure anger. I don't notice anything around me. I simply lose control and just keep hitting myself again and again.
Hands grab me, voices blend into each other, and somehow, I'm restrained.
Long story short, my dads have to come get me. They find me alone out in the hallway with my hands in my hair, pacing around like someone completely out of their mind. It's already halfway into the second period at this time.
"Anya! Anya, what's wrong?"
I feel my dad put his arms around me. He grabs my shoulders trying to get me to look at him. Larry squats beside me, holding my hand.
"Did somebody hurt you? Huh, Annie?" my dad keeps begging frantically. "Annie, are you hurt? Why are you out here now? Anya, talk to me."
I don't answer. My voice won't work.
"Where is the principal's office?" Larry asks with a sort of scary determination. I point it out to him. My dad begs Larry not to hurt him if anything, and just to find out what happened.
It's strange, he says, that he called them to come urgently for a meeting with them only for them to find me out here in the hallway like this.
"Hmm, Nana? 車に行きましょうか*?"
I nod my head, and he leads me to the car parked outside.
He doesn't speak to me, but just sits in the back with me, gently rocking me back and forth like a little baby. And genuinely, I feel really good.
Larry is back later. His first words as he gets in the car are "Anya, tell me the truth. Were you fighting at school today?"
"No," I mutter.
He takes in a deep breath and tightens his grip on the steering. "So, you didn't hit anyone?"
"I didn't."
Sigh. "You're getting out of here."
It takes a minute for me to process what he said, but when I do, I'm like, "Excuse me, what?"
"Huh?" He replies as he overtakes a very distracted driver screaming at her kid poking their head out the window.
"What did you mean I'm getting out of there? I don't understand."
"I'm having you transfer schools," he answers with his signature bluntness.
"Larry," my dad said, in visible shock. " You can't just pull her out now. It's already June. The year is pretty much over already."
"Well, she's not going back there next year. Just look at her face. She is swollen and bruised all over. And there's something shady about those people. And you know Anya will never tell you anything that happens. How are we sure she's ever going to."
My eyes widen in shock. For one thing, this is the first time I've heard him say so much at one time. And also, did they really not trust me this much.
I feel offended.
I say "offended" because I was just too tired to process my emotions. I was overwhelmed, overstimulated, and frustrated with everything.
So, I just stare out the window into the traffic and watch the trees and buildings blur past. I want to draw this, I think, taking a mental picture of the blur.
I keep thinking about the blur. That's just how today felt.
First my best friend is gone because of them and now I'm also going. There's no way my dads would let me out to Aidan's today. It's not possible.
I notice my head throbbing, so I decide to stop thinking. It takes a while, but I manage to tune out my inner voice a bit. I bury my face into my dad's shirt, shut my eyes, and then allow my consciousness to be sucked into a vortex of utter darkness and echoes I dont understand.
***
Translation notes
*"Kuruma ni ikimasu ka?" "Do you wanna come to the car?"