You ever notice how George Lopez acts like his show never got canceled? Like he's still living full‑time in Bahía de Los Angeles — which I think he actually believes is Los Angeles.Meanwhile, I'm syndicated too — just replaying the same four conversations every day and pretending I'm bilingual. I mean, the only Spanish I really speak is Walmart Spanish. You know, like "¿Dónde están los tazones para mezclar?" — basically, "help me find the mixing bowls."So yeah, I don't speak fluent Mexican… I speak broke‑Mexican. They call it "white," but it's spelled Y‑T‑E.And they call Gabriel Iglesias "Fluffy," right? Well, call me Flat Line — 'cause instead of cake, I get government pi.No "e" in pi, baby — budget cuts.
