Ultimately, a pincushion remains a pincushion*.
(*Pincushion: No matter where it lies, it always feels painful, referring to constant difficulties
wherever one looks.)
Essentially, Jeong Taeui believed it was better to take the blow first.
If he knew something bad was bound to happen, he preferred it to come sooner rather than
later, endure it for a bit, and then have it over with. He disliked the feeling of waiting
anxiously for the moment to arrive.
Of course, under normal circumstances, he would try to avoid such situations as much as
possible. But if everything was predetermined, he would rather face it quickly and move on.
This was how he had dealt with most things until now.
That's why, even now, his rational mind kept telling him - 'Instead of sitting and waiting
uselessly, just go meet Ilay first. Whether you get killed or become his meal, it's better to
confront it now.' - After all, a person can only die once, not experiencing the pain of death
twice, so there is no need to worry about what the future holds.
Moreover, no matter how optimistic he was, he couldn't hope that Ilay would easily let go of
the prey he had firmly grasped.
Therefore, tonight, Jeong Taeui planned to sneak into Dongik and negotiate with Ilay a bit.
"His face isn't the only thing that attracts women... His penis is huge. They say it's really
amazing."
Johan's voice echoed in Jeong Taeui's ears, refusing to leave.
"How ridiculous.... If there really is a woman willing to follow him even after seeing that, I
will personally organize their wedding."
Jeong Taeui gritted his teeth and muttered.
He himself had done things with Ilay over the years that seemed impossible. Until now, he
had only felt like he could live a little each time they did it. Even then, it was the result of
bloody effort and persistence.
However, if given a choice to go back to the beginning, Jeong Taeui would definitely express
his true feelings.
He preferred it to be smaller.
There might be differences in degree, but clearly, his body and mind would be much more
comfortable rather than enduring something of that size."…. Right, even if he's pretending not to know now, when it's time for me to face it, that
thing won't be any smaller. So, whether it's now or later, it's the same. He probably won't
actually kill me as he said - 'If you dare go out, I will kill you'… Oh, I haven't called Kyle
yet…."
Jeong Taeui held his head and muttered. If someone saw him now, they might think he was
mentally unstable. But Jeong Taeui, who was extremely worried, didn't have time to care.
Now he was sitting on a long bench in front of Seoik.
After dinner, he had gone to bed, covered himself with a blanket, and indulged in his pain.
But for a moment, the thought 'I have to strike first' won out, so he impulsively ran out of his
room.
However, when he stepped out of Seoik, enjoying the cool night breeze and clearing his head
a bit, Johan's story, like a curse, clearly replayed in his mind.
Jeong Taeui was now torn between going back to his room or just heading to Dongik since he
was already out. He sat on the bench in the middle of the yard, contemplating it over and
over. But even after thinking repeatedly, he couldn't find the right answer.
Night had fallen, and the surroundings became quiet and dark.
Although the outdoor lamp was far from the bench and couldn't illuminate the area, the lights
from the main building, the Dongik, and the Seoik, and most of the windows were on, so it
wasn't pitch black. So even though it was dark, anyone could see him sitting there.
Occasionally, he could see people walking in the carefully tended yard or on the forest path in
the distance, probably taking a night walk.
Come on, let's go to Dongik! he has prepared himself to be beaten to a pulp when he meet
Ilay, and if Ilay really wants to kill him, he not sure if it's possible, but Jeong Taeui plan to
run for his life and not look back.
Or, since we don't know what tomorrow holds, let's pretend not to know until it happens.
Anyway, the logic that turning oneself in would result in a lighter sentence was never meant
for him.
"From midnight to 5 a.m., high-voltage electricity runs continuously through the walls
around this house."
Suddenly, Jeong Taeui's worries were interrupted by completely unrelated information in his
mind.
Sitting on the bench, looking down at his feet and messing with his hair, he knew who it was
approaching him even before raising his head, thanks to that low and cold voice.
"Christoph.""You can climb over the wall at other times, but be careful because guards patrol regularly.
It's easier to drive in and out. But how can you get past the final 5-meter-high iron gate?"
Christoph spoke in a nonchalant tone as if reading a Korean book and sat next to Jeong Taeui.
He sat at just the right distance so that their hands couldn't touch unless they intentionally
reached out.
"The wall?"
When Jeong Taeui asked blankly, Christoph glanced at him as if he were an alien.
"Aren't you thinking of escaping by climbing the wall? I thought you were agonizing over
escaping from Rick."
Christoph genuinely seemed to believe that Jeong Taeui had left Berlin to avoid Ilay but was
unlucky to run into him here.
Jeong Taeui sighed and shook his head at the half-correct, half-wrong assumption.
"I'm just wondering if it would be better to take the beating first this time."
Christoph looked at Jeong Taeui, puzzled.
"I don't know how complicated the situation is, but if it's just a beating, getting it over with
first is fine. But if it's a matter of life and death, isn't it better to avoid it first?"
This time, his assumption seemed reasonable.
Having worked with Ilay, Christoph undoubtedly knew that even the smallest mistake could
cost one's life when dealing with Ilay.
"I don't know if he really intends to kill me.... But if he really wants to, I can't easily hand
over my life to him.... Even if I don't know if it will work, I must run first."
"...."
Christoph remained silent for a moment. He looked up at the night sky as if pondering
something and then spoke softly.
"If you're planning to run away like that. Anyway, if you have to run, then run for your life.
Use all your strength to run. But.... Imagine when you're running for your life, thinking
you've escaped from him, and then you look back… what do you think you'll see?"
".... Weren't you the one who comforted me by saying I could escape safely by climbing
over the fence?"
Jeong Taeui asked hesitantly, trying to dismiss Christoph's previous words. A normal escape
had suddenly turned into a scene from a horror movie in his mind. But Christoph only replied
briefly."I was just wondering how to get over the 5-meter gate."
"..... Why are you out here this late?"
Jeong Taeui thought it would be better to change the subject.
Wasn't he feeling hopeless recently, thinking no one in the world was on his side?
Jeong Taeui felt relieved to be outside and talking to someone like this. Finally, tonight,
Christoph had come to him voluntarily. Anyway, he had decided not to go to Dongik today.
"I have a headache."
Christoph said nonchalantly. Jeong Taeui raised an eyebrow.
"If I stay in my room, it keeps talking in my head, and it's very noisy. So it gives me a
headache."
Christoph clicked his tongue.
Jeong Taeui was about to worry for him when Christoph said it was just discomfort and
nothing special. He stared at Christoph's faintly visible profile in the dark.
For some time, Jeong Taeui had been by his side, doing odd jobs for him, so he had watched
him, whether he wanted to or not.
He recalled Christoph's indifferent expression as he chewed on painkillers like they were
cookies. Christoph had naturally poured the painkillers into his mouth, as if it had long been a
habit. Though complaining the medicine didn't work, he always made sure the bottle never
ran out.
"Who's making noise? In your head."
Jeong Taeui quietly asked. Christoph frowned slightly and looked at him.
"Let's see… I don't know because there are so many mixed voices. It's very noisy and gives
me a headache, so I don't want to listen."
"What did they say?"
This time, there was no answer.
Christoph looked up into the air as if recalling what 'they' had said, but in the end, he just
clicked his tongue - "Tsk." Then he took out a small pillbox from his pocket. A crisp sound
echoed as he chewed, like candy. The headache seemed to always worsen at night.
"Have you ever gone for counseling?"
Jeong Taeui also looked up at the sky and asked nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened.
Christoph spat after the bench, saying the aftertaste of the medicine was very bitter, andcalmly replied.
"Yes, I was thoroughly examined, but there was nothing special, so they told me to see a
psychiatrist."
"Then what?"
"Let's see. I didn't like him talking nonsense, so I killed him. Nothing else to say."
Christoph muttered, not knowing if he was joking or serious, then spat again, saying the
medicine was too bitter.
"When did this start?"
"After that, I guess you'll ask if I frequently use hallucinogenic drugs, right?"
"Uhm… If you tell me when you killed that doctor, I'll ask about what happened up to that
point and then stop."
Christoph glanced at Jeong Taeui but said nothing more. Perhaps the story had become
boring to him.
Jeong Taeui also fell silent. Like Christoph, he didn't take any medication, but his taste buds were still bitter