"I'm swallowing my pride, forced to play along with this woman," Bai Qi huffed. If a dog's face could show complex expressions, his would be one of extreme annoyance. "What choice do we have? We couldn't find the path all night and can't get back to headquarters, so we need a safe place to discuss and think."
"To think, you first need a brain," Mr. Hei said, closing his eyes.
He always did this when he was thinking. But he forgot he was now in the body of a cat—a kitten, no less. As soon as his vision went dark, he lost his balance. The entire cat flopped onto its side, landing with its legs splayed in every direction.
Bai Qi laughed hysterically, though to a normal human, it just sounded like a rumbling growl coming from the little puppy's throat.
"No wonder your name starts with Bai," Mr. Hei said, looking at his partner with pity. "You idiot!"
"My surname is Xie, as you damn well know! That chick is the one who just made up a name!" Bai Qi flared up.
"The path has disappeared. Something major must have happened. Compared to that, is your surname really that important?" Mr. Hei steered the conversation back on track. The little cat's face was full of gravity and sorrow, its brow furrowed tightly.
"It's not important?" Bai Qi was stunned, then casually patted Mr. Hei's head with his paw. "Anyway, there's no use worrying about it now. Let's just go check again after dark. Maybe it was just a glitch. You know how it is. Things have been peaceful for so many years, the guards on duty are bound to have slacked off."
"I just feel like something's not right..." Mr. Hei frowned. "Life, death, and the cycle of reincarnation—how many times does that drama play out every day? But when we were looking for the path, did you see anything unusual?"
"It was too quiet. No one was stranded," Bai Qi said, shaking his head. "It really is strange. That road is usually packed."
"Something major must have happened..."
"Even if something major happened, there's no use worrying about it now. We can only wait until tonight to see," Bai Qi said, scratching his ear with his paw. "I'm just curious. We weren't in a rush when the sun came up today, so how did we end up possessing these two little things again? It happened in the blink of an eye. I didn't even have time to react. I came to my senses, and poof, I was in this body, looking up at the chick who ran into us."
Mr. Hei was also puzzled. "Everything about this trip has been strange."
"But that's not very important either," Bai Qi said, patting his belly again. "The most pressing issue is this: I'm a proper god, for crying out loud! I haven't been hungry in thousands, tens of thousands of years, but right now I'm so hungry my stomach's touching my spine. What do we do?"
Mr. Hei rolled his eyes, his deep anxiety turning into exasperation.
Just then, they saw Xin Huohuo approaching with two small bowls filled with soaked kitten and puppy food. He couldn't help but say sarcastically, "Well then, Your Godliness, I suppose you'll have to make do with some dog food!"
Bai Qi turned his head just as the bowl of dog food was about to be shoved in his face. He dodged desperately, lost his balance, and went tumbling away. Now it was Mr. Hei's turn to laugh. But a moment later, he wasn't laughing anymore. Xin Huohuo enthusiastically tried to feed him the cat food, scaring him so much he turned and fled.
"People talk about cats and dogs fighting, but you two are ganging up on me, is that it? I'm just trying to get you to eat, you don't have to flee for your lives!" Soon, Xin Huohuo was panting for breath.
These two little things were small and weak, but they were incredibly agile. And because they were so tiny, she didn't dare use too much force to grab them. Thus, Operation Feed the Pets ended in failure.
'Damn it, I'm a proper god! Even eating human food is beneath me, and you want me to eat dog food? No way in hell!'
'Who was it that just said all living beings are equal? If you're a dog, you should eat dog food.'
Bai Qi roared while Mr. Hei made sarcastic comments.
But to Xin Huohuo's ears, all she heard was WOOF WOOF WOOF and MEOW MEOW MEOW.
However, she keenly sensed that they weren't just playing with her; they were genuinely resisting. She couldn't help but scratch her head. "Don't you know you'll starve if you don't eat? Cat food and dog food have the best nutrition for you, so you can't be picky eaters! Also, I'm telling you now, I'm not buying any of those milk treats or canned food. They're crazy expensive. Your owner here is a standard-issue poor person, so you'd better get with the program!" She made one last attempt, placing the food bowls in front of them.
For once, the two little ones' actions and expressions were perfectly synchronized. In unison, they turned their heads away, one to the left and one to the right. After cooperating for thousands of years, their chemistry was natural. Their body language couldn't have been clearer: We'd rather starve than eat this!
"Oh, trying to have a contest of patience with me? Hmph, I can't stand it when people try to compete with me on that! I'm ignoring you now, for real! Let's see if you eat when you get hungry enough!" Xin Huohuo was getting a little ticked off too. She gave each of the little things a light bop on the head, then set the small bowls on the floor and stormed off.
"She hit me!" Bai Qi accused indignantly. "A mere mortal, assaulting a proper god!"
"Then bite her," Mr. Hei said, his face an indifferent mask. "If you're going to be a dog, you should at least act like one."
"Then why don't you scratch her?" Bai Qi glared at his partner, then suddenly grinned. "Let me play with your paw pads for a bit. I've touched them before; a kitten's paw pads are so soft. That texture..."
"I can't be bothered with you," Mr. Hei muttered, turning to walk into the house.
At that moment, Xin Huohuo was preparing her breakfast.
Her breakfast was extremely simple. She occasionally bought it outside, but usually, it was just plain congee and a hard-boiled egg. The restaurant where she worked provided one dinner, and she would usually skip lunch, eating only breakfast and dinner to keep her living expenses to an absolute minimum. She'd set the timer on her electric cooker the night before, so the congee would be ready automatically in the morning.
She pretended to be busy, but in reality, she had her ears pricked, listening for any movement outside. When she saw the little black furball silently approach, with the white furball following behind looking dazed and confused, she couldn't help but feel a little smug.
Xin Huohuo did her best to put on the stern face of a matriarch: 'What do you want?'
Mr. Hei: ...
Bai Qi: ...
Xin Huohuo: 'If you don't behave, I'm ignoring you! Go stand in the corner!'
Mr. Hei: ...
Bai Qi: ...
Xin Huohuo: 'Not saying anything, huh? Go eat your food, or we're not making up!'
While putting on a fierce act, she ladled a bowl of congee and cracked the shell of her hard-boiled egg. But she opened her mouth three times, and closed it again three times. Because the two little ones just sat there silently, staring at her, and staring at her, and staring at her, with an intensity that suggested they would stare her to death or until the end of time. They just... stared.
She couldn't take it anymore!
"I give up! You win!" she said, slumping in defeat. How could she possibly eat while being stared at like this? "What on earth do you want? Can't you give me some kind of sign? I don't speak cat or dog, I don't know what you mean!"
The black and white furballs continued their profound act, staring at her with an almost soulful gaze... Er... at the table?
"You want to eat human food?" she finally realized. She stood up and reached out her hands.
Neither of them flinched away.
So she lifted them onto the dining table, then ran to get a couple of small saucers. Into them, she poured the milk she only allowed herself to drink every other day.
Immediately, the two furballs crowded over, practically fighting for the food, their black and white fur tangling together like a Taoist Yin Yang Diagram. They lapped up saucer after saucer, and finally shared an egg yolk before letting out sighs of sated satisfaction.
"I see how it is. I've adopted two little masters," Xin Huohuo said, viciously gobbling down the remaining egg white and bringing the chaotic breakfast to an end.