Ever since he was five, Remy kept hearing voices in his head. These voices would tell him to snatch a lady's purse,to strip in the middle of the street,to be afraid of every soul he encounters and absolutely not to trust the doctor.
But there's one eccentric voice that says nothing bad at all. In fact, it narrates Remy's life all the time. The medication he took tones down the voice, but not this one particular voice. To this day, he is still narrating. To Remy however, he is annoying.
Guess what? I'm that voice.
"Stop talking" Remy mutters under his breath, trying not to catch anybody's attention inside the psychiatric hospital.
Remy looks up at the mounted television on the wall in an effort to to avoid me. Unfortunately, this isn't the usual cartoon that you always watch when you was a kid, but a gruesome report about a serial killer.
"The young female is suspected to be responsible for a string of manslaughter was caught in act was caught by the police force. Last Saturday night, the killer, was dubbed by the media and netizan as the Kajang Vampire, fell into a trap set by the police. The suspect is 18 years old woman with an albino condition. Her motives are to be said to be revealed as soon as possible as the police is still interrogating her regarding the motives" said the news reporter on the scene.
"What a great way to start a day...." Remy groans, turning away from the television.
Unfortunately for Remy, turning away won't help him to stay calm as im still here. Always will be ;)
"Indeed you are, Fweh" Remy clicked his tongue.
That's the name he gave me when the first time i start to narrating his life since a long time ago. Sometimes, he would ignore my narration which is super rude, but when i got through his dull mind, he would screams into his pillow to drown out my voices. Well, safe to say A for the effort, F for the results. At least he tried-
"No, i don't" says Remy sharply.
Yes, you do
"Because you dont know when to shut your---" His voice comes out louder than he intends to, causing a old Chinese lady to look at him with a confused looks. Remy lifts his mic on his shirtand gives a little smile.
Quite the nifty save i dare say--- people would assume he was talking to someone on the phone.
Remy bites his lower lips as the old lady give him a disdain look and continues to scroll on her phone. I would've smacked her head if i were Remy, but im not. Lets ask Remy to do it for me
"NO" Remy reply sharply and silently. Well, at least i tried.....
"Do you have an on/off button? Im tired of hearing your voices" Do you even remember what Dr.Kathy said? "Ignore the voices, ignore them" he says, repeating the mantra for a few times before blasting some old schooled music. Not my favorite, but i actually prefer hip hop and pop songs which he hate. "Can you just for love of god, just shut up".
Ah, typical Remy attitude. This is the price of hating my taste of music. If you dont want to talk, I'll talk.
Remy is waiting for his turn in the psychiatric clinic of Hospital Kuala Lumpur, which I'll just call HKL. Pretty a neat name right? They should give me an award for that. Unlike the clinic in HUKM, which is always packed like New York subway, the silence in HKL's waiting areas is deafening. At this moment, there's only Remy, the old lady that gave him a disdain look, and a pair of teenager at the back. Probably playing games. As i said, i will narrate down to the smallest, unnecessary details in order to annoy Remy.
"Which always work" whined Remy. Works like a charm.
Here at HKL,the doctor are nice and about the well being of their patients (can't be said to be the same as another hospital). Hence, th session could last for at least an hour. That explains why waiting here feels like eternity. Like seriously, NEVER comes early. If you do, you will be like our Remy over here. Just sitting here, lifelessly, like a zombie...
His legs cant stop shaking. His eyes dart across the lobby to the doctor's door, then to the nurse on the counter, back to the doctor's door, then to the old lady's phone peeking what she---
"Can you stop? You're not helping me calm down,plus i didn't peek" commented Remy.
Ooopsie, sorry.
An hour ago, the number on the LCD display was 2301. It's Remy's turn next, 2302, but one hour has passed abd the number stays the same. I wonder what's going on the other side of that door... Its up to Remy to barge in with a cinematic entrance.
"Quit narrating what won't happen, Fweh. Im still sane" pressed Remy. Is it sane to hear voices in your head and talks to it as if it a real person? Let me check my dictionary.....Ah, nope thats called insane. What a surprise.
Even I'm getting impatient. Even though, im just a bodiless voice.
"Should we go home? Im tired of waiting" questioned Remy, ending with a sigh.
It's up to you, I'm just a hallucination. The choice you makes are my my only choice. But I'll tell you something, just wait. You waited for an hour and you are going to waste all that time? 99% gambler quits before they strike gold. You are betting 1 hour of your life and you are going to pull away? You have my utmost sympathy.
"Ugh, fine. I'll wait for another hour of my life" mourned Remy, hugging his leg, his finger is numb from the coldness of the room. Im pretty sure that guy will comes out of the room in 1....2.....3. *no one comes out*. I said in 1.....2....3. *still no one*. And now!
Luckily, just as I says that, a lanky man comes out of the doctor's office. Speak of the devil. Remy's face lights up from frown to smile. His turn is caming. He glances at the LCD display and counts.
Five. Four. Three. Two..... One!
Nothing changes.
"For god's sak, how long do I have-"
Ding Dong!
The number on LCD display turns into 2302. A nurse comes out of the doctor's office, "Calling for Remy Anderson, Remy Anderson!"
Remy gets up from his seat and received a disapproval look from the old woman. Maybe she's just jealous at the fact that Remy got called in first. Remy sighs. Now, the dread of waiting is replaced by the dread of facing the judgeful look of the doctor.
The new doctor wears a blue scarf paired with a grey sweater. She smiles warmly as she invites Remy into her office.
"Please have a seat" the doctor gestures to an empty seat in front of her as she flips a file about Remy's health records.
Remy takes a seat and fidgets with his finger under the table, clearly nervous. The doctor closes the file and she looks up at Remy, taking a good look and studying his behaviors. This is the kinds of thing that makes Remy scared of doctor.
"Its okay, Remy. I'm not a flesh- eating zombie " says the doctor with a small smile, clasping her hand on the desk.
Remy reply with a bitter smile before saying "you aren't going to cal a police on me, are you?" asks Remy, remembering the moment a psychiatrist called the police on him. He looks at the doctor's name tag : Sasha Ishakov. That's the name of the doctor. Her name is Russian but she doesn't have a russian accents.
Dr. Sasha sighs and takes out a phone out from her pockets, placing it on the table, then lifts both of her hands in air, as if she is surrendering.
Remy tries to hide his relief and sighs "you know, most of the time, I draw normal things, but nowaday, im doing a novel series and post it online" he says with a hint of pride in his voice.
"Wow, thats pretty cool. What did the reader says? Does it have a good impression?" questions the doctor, completely indulged with the topics
"Well, I can say yes. Yes, I guess. Just last week it got ranked #1 in the comedy section, even though its a romance novel" says Remy embarrassedly.
"But....there are some times where i draw bad things. Usually when i feels down and things didn't go as I planned" shrugged Remy
Remy shivers as the memory of having a bad drawing playing in his head like a montage episode.
"Carry on, you can let it all here. Nothing leaves this room without my consent" assured the doctor, comforting him.
"I tried not to let them take control of my life, but sometimes they are too loud and keep affecting me in my daily life" clarified Remy, feeling uneasy.
The other voices can get maliciously loud. Whenever that happens, Remy can hear my narration anymore as the other drawns me out. Dr, Sasha didn't pick up a pen or write anything. She looks and listens to Remy's story attentively.
"I once draw my dad got killed....by me. In so many different ways" Remy averts his gaze and looks at his crossed legs.
"Its okay, this is a safe space. Just take a deep breath and relax, okay? You can tell me when you're ready" she reassures him with a soft smile. Remy nods. He takes a deep breath and continues.
"Yeah... I didn't see him in my hallucination for a while now..... Well, for a long time actually" His mind reflects the conflicting feeling that always arise whenever it comes to his father--- eyes full of triumph, but with a smile full of sadness.
"Hhmmm, there must be a good reason for your hallucination s. Don't worry, I'll help you to go through it" comforted Dr. Sasha.
Suddenly, there's a loud deep scream comes from the lobby ripd through the cold air. Out of reflex, Dr. Sasha immediately stands up and rushes to the door. Right before she opens it, she turns to Remy.
"That's myabe a patient throwing a fit. Please wait for a minute, would ya?"
The door closes behind her and Remy leans back on his chair. That wasn't so bad, wasn't it?
"Yeah, you're right. I was afraid for no reason" he stretches and sighs.
No wonder one session can take up to more than 1 hour. Its because of someone like him busy telling the tales of his life.
"Hey, thats because the doctor asked for it. Its not my fault" exclaimed Remy.
Yea, sure thing bud.
Remy takes out a phone before hearing another scream. But this time, it comes from a woman, erupts across the building. Huh, that's weird. Are the patients fighting each other?
"What the hell is happening out there?" He stands and reaches for the door handle.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Silence.
The banging on the door stops. Remy freezes. He leans and put his ear on the door, trying to eavesdrop what's happening on the other side. Running, screaming and loud grunts fills his ears. His hand hesitates to twist the door knob as he scans the entire room. There is another door at the back.
Should he try to open it?
Just then, a liquid slips through the gap between the door and the floor. Remy's heart skips a beat. The liquid is dark red, murky, and without having to touch it, he know the texture is sticky.
Blood
He knows something is wrong. Remy gathers all the courage he could get and take a big gulp of air before opening the door. Opening the door was a bad idea. What awaits him on the other side ia an absolute massacre. Bile rises up in his throat as the putrid air enters his lung and he swallows a vomit. There a bodies every where. Guts are scattered throughout the room and the reek of blood stains the floor like a red carpet you always see celebrity walks on, inviting him to comes out.
He sees the old woman which gave him the death stare earlier now is lying there, lifelessly without a head.
Karma is truly real...too real and too sadistic.
The stench starts to make Remy feel dizzy. From the corner of his eye, something catches his attention. A male nurse is crouching on the floor. Is he helping somebody? Remy squints his eyes to focus on what the male nurse is doing, he stumbles back when he sees what's actually happening.
He backs in the doctor's office and closes the door quietly and locks it. After he locked that door, he dashes to the other site and locks the back door firmly.
"Im not hallucinating, am i?" Remy asks me as he barricades the door with the furniture inside the room, hands shaking. His voice wavers and his eyes roam across the room.
No, you're not. What you saw just now was real.
"Are you sure?"
Yes, im sure. What you saw just now was a nurse eating someone.
You saw a zombie.