The Economic Impact of the Fart
Kniya didn't even flinch at Malesh's screaming. He just casually crossed his arms, staring off into the distance like a seasoned war veteran recalling a dark tragedy.
"The economic collateral damage of that single fart was truly devastating to our quarterly projections," Kniya continued smoothly, completely ignoring Malesh. "It severely impacted the central nervous systems of the entire executive board. The sheer toxicity of the air quality plummeted so fast that..."
"Kniya, you absolutely miserable, fucking bastard!" Malesh interrupted, his veins physically popping out of his forehead. "Shut your goddamn mouth right now before I strangle you with my bare hands!"
"...that due to this fucking biological terror attack," Kniya said loudly, talking right over Malesh, "our company had to declare a mandatory nationwide holiday for all offices of Kevilson Steel! It was so unbearable that a total evacuation was literally required by federal law!"
"What?!" Malesh shrieked, his voice cracking violently. "Are you just physically incapable of speaking anything other than pure, unfiltered garbage?! You can just spit out any kind of absolute shit from your mouth and expect them to believe it, you shit-eating idiot?!"
"We faced a massive fifty-percent loss on the company's overall sales and profit margins for that entire week due to the immediate shutdown of operations," Kniya concluded, wiping a fake tear from his eye. "It was a dark day for corporate capitalism."
Malesh finally lunged forward, completely abandoning his sophisticated, emotionless persona.
"Can you stop blabbering about this absolute shit, you fucking shit-faced parasite?!" Malesh roared, desperately trying to shame Kniya into silence. "Your mouth operates exactly like a broken, unregulated sewage pipe! You literally consume pure feces all day just to spew that same fucking poop right back out into the corporate atmosphere, you unhinged idiot!"
Imagination to Creation
Before Malesh could physically assault Kniya, Salesh stepped between them, aggressively waving his hands in the air.
"Okay, wait, shut up! Both of you!" Salesh yelled, his medical paranoia momentarily completely overridden by his realization. He looked directly at Kniya. "Well, I got the actual point here. Kniya, basically, all you are trying to explain to me is that you possess the literal power of 'imagination to creation'."
Kniya smirked, popping a fresh bubble of mint gum. "Exactly."
"So, any weapon, or literally anything you can possibly think of, you can just mentally imagine it, and you can instantly create that thing into physical reality," Salesh summarized, his eyes widening in pure shock. He looked down at his own shivering, defensively-postured hands. "Huh... actually, I really wish I had that same fucking ability. Do you know how many premium pharmaceutical antibiotics I would spawn right now?"
The Grand Capitalist Scheme
Hearing Salesh's analysis, Malesh abruptly stopped screaming. He took a deep breath, straightened his highly wrinkled white shirt, and smoothly readjusted his dragon-themed silk tie. His corporate composure instantly re-entered his body.
"Yes, you are totally right about this thing, Salesh," Malesh agreed, his tone dropping back into a calm, calculated rhythm. "It was always a prominent feature present in those trashy reincarnation novels. When an individual gets transported into another world, they receive some kind of overpowered cheat system or magical bullshit."
Malesh began pacing back and forth across the dirt, his dark eyes gleaming with absolute ambition.
"I mean, think about it," Malesh continued. "In those stories, a guy who is a total, absolute fucking loser in his own world suddenly gets reincarnated and gets to become the undisputed king of an entire massive harem. It defies all logic. I don't know how the fuck it is mathematically—excuse me, logically—possible, but it is still the fundamental rule of this genre."
Malesh paused, glancing sideways at Kniya with a look of deep, lingering disgust.
"Although, it is highly confusing to believe that only Kniya got the powers upon arrival," Malesh muttered bitterly. "Well, it is kind of frustrating for me to see, actually. But don't worry. Even if Kniya has some overpowered, shit-tier powers, this is a primitive reincarnation world. We can completely dominate this ecosystem."
A highly sinister, purely evil smirk slowly stretched across Malesh's face. He wasn't thinking about the loss of their company anymore. He was thinking about a complete, hostile takeover of an entire planet.
"We don't even need to bring modern technological infrastructure to this world," Malesh whispered, his voice dripping with pure malice. "We have modern, ruthless corporate strategy. We can manipulate their entire society, seize their resources, and dominate everything into our own hands in whatever way we want. We are going to be the absolute gods of this medieval economy."
The Dragon Scale Start-Up
Malesh aggressively smoothed down the wrinkles of his pristine white shirt and perfectly readjusted his dragon-themed silk tie. Standing on the elevated ridge of the mountainous forest, his dark, calculating eyes locked onto the massive, unconscious dragon lying in the dirt of the primitive village far below them, a full one-and-a-half kilometers down the valley. The gears in his ruthlessly corporate brain immediately started spinning at maximum velocity, analyzing the landscape not as a magical fantasy world, but as an entirely untapped, unregulated market.
"Well, looking at the pure financials, I do know one highly profitable thing about our current geographical displacement," Malesh stated, his voice dropping into a terrifyingly calm, high-stakes business-pitch tone. "As we have all read in those cliché reincarnation novels during our mandatory leisure time, there is one absolute, universal economic fact in these primitive worlds. We can generate an absolutely massive amount of capital by simply harvesting and selling those dragon scales."
Malesh pointed a sharp, authoritative finger down the mountain at the giant, scaly beast.
"Look at it. It is a literal, genuine dragon. If we hike down there, strip that organic armor plating, and wholesale the scales to the local blacksmiths, they will desperately use it to forge high-end magical gear. We are looking at a complete monopoly that will yield us a ridiculous profit margin," Malesh explained, a dark, deeply villainous smirk slowly creeping across his face. "And the absolute best part? This is not our world. There is no central federal government here. That means no bureaucratic red tape, no corporate oversight committees, and absolutely no fucking Animal Protection Acts to stop me from legally skinning that winged lizard for a nine-hundred percent profit!"
Kniya slowly leaned over to Salesh, aggressively popping his mint gum as he whispered loudly enough for the entire mountain ridge to hear.
"Salesh, look at him," Kniya whispered, his eyes wide with mock terror. "Malesh is completely in his supervillain era right now. He is talking like a literal comic book psycho trying to conquer the tri-state area. He is literally one monologue away from building a giant laser on the moon to hold the medieval economy hostage. We should start calling him 'Doctor Deficit'. Or maybe 'The Liquidator'."
"I vote for 'The Liquidator'," Salesh nodded nervously, defensively pulling his casual jacket tighter around his shivering shoulders with absolute, trembling sincerity. "It sounds exactly like a guy who would violently foreclose on a medieval orphanage. His unchecked capitalist aura is physically lowering my immune system. It feels highly toxic."
Malesh's head snapped toward them with terrifying speed, his dark eyes flaring with corporate rage.
"I can literally hear your fucking weird whispered conversations!" Malesh exploded, his sophisticated CEO persona cracking instantly. "We are standing three feet apart in a completely silent, elevated forest! What the fuck are you guys even blaming me for?! Why the hell are you portraying me as some evil dictator?!"
Malesh marched right up to Kniya, pointing a furious, trembling finger directly at his chest.
"First of all, you two are way more evil than I am! You just don't have the basic decency to show yourselves as the fucking evil idiots that you actually are!" Malesh yelled, his face turning completely red. "Kniya, you are the biggest evil here! You literally just assassinated a majestic, soaring creature from a kilometer and a half away by shooting a highly concentrated, weapons-grade fart right into its nostrils! If you cared so much about fucking animal protection, you shouldn't have subjected the majestic beast to literal biological warfare! But the absolute second I suggest a highly efficient corporate recycling initiative to make some seed money out of its comatose body, I am the bad guy?!"
Kniya just smirked, casually chewing his gum and looking entirely unapologetic about his devastating fart-artillery strike.
"Okay, fine!" Malesh threatened, aggressively slicking his dark hair back. "If you guys are not going to be team players in this venture, I am going to use my own manual labor! I will walk down this mountain myself, harvest every single one of those dragon scales, liquidate the biological assets, and keep all the funds strictly under my own name! I will literally use a rusty medieval butter knife if I have to! I will peel that creature like a massive, scaly potato! I will not give you a single fucking penny when we finally reach a city and you require the funds most!"