A car really did come the next day.
Mari assured him that Kim was enough help and bid him farewell.
He sat in the car rehearsing what he intended to say. His mind conjured all sorts of scenarios, but still he was unsure of what to expect. He watched the scenery pass by and melt into a blur. He took several deep breaths to calm his rampaging heart.
It would be fine.
Before he alighted, the driver had graciously delivered suppressant pen with a handwritten instruction to 'just stab it anywhere he saw fit, if he felt threatened by Jay' from Alexei. So thoughtful.
The anticipated attack did not come.
When he was led into the apartment, Jason was asleep. Every corner of the room was heavily saturated with his pheromones. They were heavy and suffocating... Not at all how he remembered them.
Alexei did say it was the end of his rut.
He wandered around the… apartment? At least that's what he thought it was. He explored the rooms until he found Jason in bed. He knelt by the bedside, watching him sleep.
It was such a strange thing, he had rarely seen him asleep. He held his breath when Jason groaned and turned over, laying on his back. Even in his sleep, he looked so exhausted; his eyes were dark; his cheeks, sunken; the usually well-groomed appearance was gone, and in its place, a stubbled chin.
How many months had it been?
Jason groaned again.
That's right, Alexei had told him to release his pheromones when he arrived. He timidly reached for his patch…
Jason eyes flew open.
Someone was here, which wouldn't make sense because no one should be able to come in here.
He sat up.
It was obviously a dream, how else could he smell Lein here?
He threw back the covers and dragged his exhausted body out of the room and into the kitchenette. Maybe it was his already burdened mental state or maybe this rut was especially bad. Why else would such a vivid hallucination be playing out before his eyes?
Not that he minded, he leaned against the door frame and watched Lein as he fussed about the small space.
It was just a prickle at first, so he ignored it, but it didn't go away like he had anticipated, instead it grew with such intensity that he… the feeling of being watched. Lein turned around to see Jason, leaning against the doorframe, watching him. He knew that look, it was a look he had seen many times when they were together. He wet his lip, a hand reaching back to scratch the back of his neck "I... Jay..."
He covered the distance between them with wide steps, before any more words could be said, Jason swallowed them.
The kiss was hungry, impatient. Both were insatiable.
Jason was floored by how real the person in his arms felt, his scent, the heat of his body, the sound of his pants. His hands explored his body impatiently, egged on by Lein's complete surrender. When he touched the piercings, he became even more relentless.
Look at that, he did get attacked after all.
"Jay..." Lein moaned, he came to talk. If they ended up sleeping together, that would be bad, right?
"Shut up." He mumbled against his skin as he pressed him up against the counter. Even if it were a dream or just a malicious hallucination that his mind conjured up, that was fine. This person in his arms, right now. He was healthy and alive; he wasn't falling apart like the person that had been branded in his mind. There was no crying or screaming, just a person melting under his touch. He rubbed his groin against the other eagerly, to say he was pent up and frustrated would be nothing short of any understatement.
He wanted to bury himself deep inside him, he had to... And soon. He fumbled with the other's pants.
Lein was... honestly, he too could barely keep his mind on track. Everywhere Jason touched burned and he wanted more of his heat. He pressed up, harder, against his body. The turbulent pheromones took on a new meaning. His alpha wanted him, after so long... After everything, Jason still wanted him. He was drowning in a sea of his desires. He gasped when he felt Jason's hands slither into his briefs.
Jason stopped to chide himself. This was a rare moment, he should savour it properly. He took a step back, taking in the titillating sight of his omega just about ready to bloom for him. He decided to do things properly, even if it were a hallucination his fractured mind had cooked up, he should do things properly, so he took hold of Lein by the hand and led the person, who was struggling to keep his pants from falling, to his bed.
"Jay... Don't misunderstand. I just came to tal-"
Jason kissed him again, lightly this time before he pulled away. He caresses his cheek, his lips curving into a small smile "I've missed you so much, Rosalein." His fingers tugged on his earlobe.
His will to reason with the other vanished immediately "M-me too. I missed you too. I miss you a lot. I missed you so much." His confessions poured out rapidly.
He grabbed the hem of Lein's shirt and yanked it off, stopping to gaze at his chest. His smile grew a little wider "You kept it..."
He nodded. His body shivered when Jason's thumb brushed over a piercing. His knees went weak. He held on to the other's arms to steady himself "Jay..." He panted.
Jason chuckled, but the mirth was absent from his searing gaze.
Lein swallowed, he started to feel just a little scared. He took a small step back.
Jason's phone rang.
Jason noticed, his smile disappeared. He caught the omega who was trying to make a discreet escape and hurled him onto the bed "Do you want to leave?"
"N-no." he patted his pockets for the pen. He couldn't have left it on the table or something, could he?
"Mm." He pulled his own shirt over his head, put a knee between the other's legs "Don't leave, okay? Please, I won't hurt you again."
"J-Jay…" it was taking a lot of effort to stay on topic "…can you gimme a minute?"
His pleading went unanswered "You're so good, Rosalein." He tugged Lein's jeans off and tossed them aside. His smell grew stronger. It made him happy.
His eyes followed his discarded jeans. Well, there goes the pen… "No, wait… not like this." He rolled towards the edge of the bed and hopped off as quickly as he could.
"Rosalein…"
"Yea?" he answered as he reached for his pants. It had to be here, he didn't think he would actually need it… whatever it was.
Jason grabbed him and tossed him back on to the bed and started to kiss him again.
Fuck the pen.
They rubbed their bodies against each other, while Jason prepared him, although he was impatient, he remained thorough. Jason was raring to go and Lein was ripe for the picking.
His phone rang again.
There were no condoms. Jason's movements slowed at the realization, even if it were a dream, was he really going to take that chance?
"Jay?" He stared at him with glistening eyes, full of questions but so very beautiful.
Another ring.
He swallowed "Babe..." He took Lein's wrist and led it to his member "...do you mind, there are no condoms."
He shook his head.
Another ring.
There was another mirthless chuckle before he flipped him over "That won't do..." He mumbled as he pressed his thighs close together...
It rang again.
He clicked his tongue, picked the phone and chucked it against the wall. The ringing stopped. He returned his focus to his omega, ready to mount him.
The landline begun to ring.
Cursing under his breath, he picked up the receiver "What the fuck do you want?!" He barked.
"Tsk. So rude..." Alexei answered "...did you receive my gift? I hope you didn't attack him, my baby will be upset if you did but I figured he wouldn't be able to use the suppressant if you were serious."
"What the fuck are you on about?"
"The wild rose... Heh..." Alexei jeered "...are you unwrapping it? You planning to have a kid?"
Lein watched his scorching gaze simmer down as a furrow formed between his brows morphing into confusion and disbelief then, wide-eyed shock. He moved away from him so quickly, all he saw was an after image.
The receiver fell to the floor.
"How are you... What are you doing here? Do you parents know you're here?" He asked suddenly.
The mood was gone, Lein scowled "I'm not a child."
"Put on your clothes, I'll have someone send you back." That phone call was a bucket of ice dunked on them. He almost did something crazy... No, he had done something crazy.
"Do you think I'm dirty?"
Jason froze.
"Do you think I'm dirty?"
He spun around to an obviously wounded Lein who was now seated at the edge of the bed "What?"
He looked up, the corner of his lips quivered, his nose flared, his eyes were glistening "Do... Do you think I'm dirty?" He repeated in a small voice.
"No." He walked over to crouch beside him "Who told you that? Who said that to you?"
"Jay... You... Do you not want me anymore?"
"That's not true. You know that's not true." His resolve wavered a little, when their eyes met. He averted his gaze and pulled away "Please, put on your clothes."
Lein watched him walk out of the room. It didn't make any sense. They were so good just now, what happened? What was the phone call about? What's with the switch? He kicked the blanket that had somehow landed on the floor... and just when it was getting really good too. "Who the fuck called just now? I should punch them..." He grumbled as he got dressed. It was uncomfortable... putting on clothes when it was still wet and squishy between his legs. Seriously, who was the fucker that ruined everything?
Jason was at a loss. He inspected the suppressant he found on the coffee table before uncapping it and stabbing the contents into the base of his nape. In his lust filled dazed, he had thrown his phone against the wall. The device was rendered completely useless.
"Jay..." Lein returned, fully dressed "...can, can we talk?"
He walked into the kitchenette to discard the empty pen "Give me an hour. I'll clean up, the suppressant should be in full effect then. I can give you a ride back."
"You won't even look at me..." He stood in the doorway "...everyone says I'm overthinking it, but if you go this far..." He exhaled slowly, his vision began to blur "...you didn't even give me a chance to say thanks for the lawyers and the thing with the Bohemians. It... It must have been hard..." He heaved "...I-I know you worked hard to make it happen..." He rubbed his eyes, they burned "I graduated yesterday..." He gasped "I-I..."
Jason's palms itched. Habit was such a frightening thing, even now he couldn't help but walk over quickly to hug him. He patted his back gently "Breathe, we'll talk. Don't panic, okay? We'll talk. I'll listen to whatever you want to say."
He broke down. "I should have told you about everything, I am so sorry." He cried into his chest as he clung to him "I was so scared. I didn't want you to leave me."
"Mm..."
"I-I didn't want... t-to hurt you like that. Those things… I swear I didn't mean anything when I said it. You… please believe me I was just… I'm so sorry."
"Mm."
He pushed himself out of the other's hold "I'm not a... I'm n-not a s-slut."
"Mm."
"I'm... I'm st-stable now..." He took a tiny step back "J-Jay, I'm not a mess anymore." He quickly wiped away his tears with the inside of his wrists and showed a shaky smile "I had my graduation ceremony yesterday. I'm clean." He sniffed "I haven't touched anything for over a year and... And..."
A tiny smile played on his lips "I know,"
"The lawyers… and the case, I-I know it wasn't easy but…" he sniffled "…but I tried my best and…"
"…and you were wonderful, Rosalein. You performed exceptionally well."
"Thanks..." His eyes brightened as he took a step forward "…th-then can you give me… can we-"
"No." he said firmly.
He caught his hand before he could pull away, gripping tightly "Do you only like me when I'm a mess?"
"FUCK! No! Why would you even think that?!"
"Then, why?"
"Rosalein…" there was that itch again "Rosalein, look at you. You've come this far because I wasn't..." He let out a slow exhale "I was part of the problem. You were by my side, you were not happy, you were suffering and I didn't even notice what was happening. That..." He grabbed his shoulders and steadied him "...look how far you came without me, Rosalein, this... This should be enough, right? It's more than enough proof that I'm not good."
He stiffened while his mind worked this new information. He squinted at Jason "What?"
"Ro-"
"I heard you…" he drew in a deep inhale, held his breath for a second before letting it out very slowly "Jay, I would rather you say that you hate me, and that you find me disgusting."
He frowned "I don't think that. I don't hate you."
"No, that has to be it." he huffed "Please just say you hate me…" he rubbed his face with both hands as he muttered "…this doesn't make any sense."
"Rosalein."
He lowered his hands "I have been trying… I worked so hard…"
"Ro-"
"Jay, there's no way you would have known."
His frown deepened "I understand how you feel-"
"No!" his chest heaved "No… no, you don't. If you did you… you wouldn't think that. Please don't say that you understand, you don't." He withdrew from the hand that had reached out to comfort him again when a teardrop slipped "You have been my goal for months. I wanted to show you that person was not the real me, but you won't even look."
"No, no… that's not true. I'm looking at you."
"Ro-"
"You have to be fucking with me."
"Tsk. He is so rude." Alexei returned the receiver to its cradle "I didn't even finish talking."
"One of these days, he will attack you." Xavier threw him a side glance "I won't stop him."
"You didn't stop him the last time." He snorted and fell into a chair "I don't need you, my husband will protect me." He nudged Ethan with his elbow "Right? Baby, you'll defend your husband's honour, won't you?"
Ethan ignored him, scooting away silently.
"Baby?"
"Dad!" He jumped up suddenly and ran to Xavier's side with his tablet "I drew our goddaughter." He displayed the cartoon happily.
"Oh..." He examined the screen with a nod "... that's lovely. Well done."
Ethan beamed.
"You want to be an Illustrator?"
He shook his head "I just like drawing these. I even drew you..." He explained as he searched through the files "See?"
Xavier chuckled and ruffled his head.
"Can you stop fondling my husband?"
The two gave him a look of quiet disgust.
Ethan continued "I'll customize a coffee mug for you."
Alexei let out a long dramatic sigh "Since we married..." He caught the pillow before it hit him in the face "Baby, why?"
He rolled his eyes "Always saying rubbish."
Xavier muffled a laugh "Ethan, would you mind doing me a little favour?"
He set the tablet aside eagerly "Of course."
"Could you check if lunch is ready?" he glanced at Alexei "I doubt Jason and his guest would be joining us."
"Yes." He nodded obediently and scurried off.
"A goddaughter?" He asked with an amused glint.
"He liked the baby." Alexei answered plainly.
Xavier chuckled "Yes, babies are lovely..." His eyes darted to Yul "...very cute."
Alexei eyed him "Why did you send him away?"
"Your father is my custody."
"What father? My father is right in front of me." He stretched, lazily.
"You don't care?"
It is not that he didn't care. He cared a lot, both he and Jason did but making sure their father got better was more important than whatever grievances they had. He turned his focus to Yul "Are you sure it would work?"
She nodded energetically "I have several models I would like to-"
He held up a hand effectively shutting off her rant before it could begin "I read your report." He clicked his tongue "Who sends their boss a 300 page report?" He sneered as he got to his feet "When you're done, be sure to throw the bitch in a ditch."
"Ethan can find his way back." Xavier commented without sparing him a glance.
"I'm just going to stretch my legs."
Xavier chuckled.
Jason glanced sideways at Lein.
The whole ride back, he had been eerily quiet.
"Rosalein..." His fingers tightened around the steering wheel "...Yul told me that you didn't show up for your check-up. I understand that you have been better for some time but maybe just go in once for certainty. She said it's the reason your last heat was a little…"
"I know. She explained it to me when she called."
"Rosalein-"
"I didn't mean to bother you back then, I just ended up at your door."
"Okay." He looked at the person, whose entire focus was on a finger that was tracing something on the window "You are better now, you don't need it anymore."
His body stiffened.
"You have to get rid of the diffuser, I'm sure she told you that as well."
"…okay."
They fell into another minute of heavy silence.
"I heard… Patrick said you don't want to pursue the lawsuit, and you haven't expressed any interest in how the-"
"I don't want to do that. Besides, when the verdict is out, it'll be on the news. Everyone's gonna be talking about it."
"Rosalein."
He lowered his hand and turned to him "Yes?"
He wasn't sure what it was, the whole thing just felt strange. He pinched his nose bridge "Don't do things that will make your partner misunderstand."
He leaned closer "What partner?"
"If you-"
"Are you dating him?" He asked suddenly, the topic made him recall a rather unpleasant memory. "Jay, the person that was clinging to you at the reception, are you together?"
His brows wrinkled "No, look-"
"So, you're fair game..." He muttered to himself, unclasping the seatbelt. The ride back had given him enough time to think but he just kept getting increasingly annoyed. He got out of the car and circled over to the driver's side. He knocked lightly on the window.
Jason sighed, honestly, this Rosalein was a little unpredictable. He rolled down the window "Yea?"
He leaned in suddenly, until their noses were almost touching "I'll get rid of the diffuser..." He started in a low husky voice "...and there's no one. If it's Henry, that was just… we're friends." He covered the distance and kissed him suddenly "This is not over."
Jason watched with his chin rested on the wheel, eyes focused on the man who had just swaggered into his home. He dropped his forehead on the wheel "This is going to be difficult..." He mumbled. This Rosalein was too irresistible. What would he tell his father?
Lein's annoyance was obvious. Hank could just feel it radiating off him, along with the fact that his son was currently pummeling the sandbag like it was his nemesis.
"Okay... That's enough of that." He grabbed his menace of a child by the scruff of his neck and pulled him back "What's with you? Trying to crush your hands?"
"Dad..." He turned his ferocious glare on his father "...did you say something to Jay?"
"Tsk." When is it not about Jay with this kid? "Rose, since you met that man, have you given your parents any thought at all?"
"Dad!"
He was glad he had only one child. One Lein was more than enough, so exasperating "What? What is it? What happened this time?"
"Can you believe he said he's bad for me?"
"Oh..." Hank gazed around the almost empty hall; the walls were looking a little dull. Maybe it was time for some renovations, perhaps a new coat of paint "…is that so?"
"Dad!"
"Rose..." He ran a hand through his hair, recalling the last time he saw the man. He had said something similar then and even wholeheartedly agreed not to contact Lein again "... he's having a tough time."
"So… you knew?" He huffed as he impatiently unwrapped the bands around his hands and tossed them aside "Why didn't you say anything to him?"
"What was I supposed to say? While my son was by your side, he was in a downward spiral and being harassed but you didn't notice until he almost died, but that's fine? You did nothing wrong?"
"That's not his responsibility! Why should he have to watch over me like a child?!"
"Lower your voice." He scrunched up his nose "At least, you're speaking like a proper adult now. Think about it, that man, a very busy person, was running around the city for your sake and I'm sure it wasn't just once..."
His ferocity began to dim "But-"
"Be quiet." He stepped closer "You're long past the age of throwing reckless tantrums so get your act together. Liking someone is not enough to make a relationship work." He glanced around the hall once more "Clean this place up. Everywhere. And lock up when you're done. Understand?"
"...Yessir." He grumbled.
"What did you say?"
"Yes sir."
He patted his shoulder and walked away.
When Alexei said 'That is a weapon designed to kill...' in reference to Rush II, he meant every word speaking as a person who had had first-hand experience with the drug. A little gift from his omega parent, Iris.
Iris was a wicked person. Not the kind of wickedness that results from being tired and tempered by the world.
He was wicked, merely for the sake of being wicked.
But there were also other words that could be used to describe Iris, words like beautiful, captivating, alluring, ethereal and... special.
He was a very special omega.
He belonged to the miniscule class of people with a very special kind of pheromone. Pheromones that are felt and not perceived. There were no concrete descriptions or scents attached to his pheromones, but everyone stated, whenever Iris entered the room, they felt good.
They felt really good.
And he loved that.
He loved watching people trip over themselves to get his attention. The image of alphas, omegas and even betas falling over themselves, foaming at the mouth to make him happy was exhilarating.
It was at the peak of his popularity that he met a young Xavier, a dominant alpha, whose pheromones were a blend of old Spice, musk and cedarwood. He knew this because the man wore his pheromones like a cologne, a testament to his mastery of control. Iris was certain this one would be no different from his other suitors.
He was wrong.
One look at him and it was obvious, Xavier was unimpressed. For all his beauty and allure, the man was unmoved. Iris was flabbergasted. All his life, he had been the most special person in the room, only for one alpha to take a single look at him and dismiss him? He was livid. He would make him pay.
Alas, the day of reckoning he craved would be delayed. Xavier left his family; the alpha had been disowned. Iris was filled with indignation and discontent. He spent many an effort refining every bit of his appearance for the day he would crush the man name Xavier Rockwell underfoot but he didn't see the man again.
And when he did meet him again, six years later, Xavier's specific cologne now bore an undertone of danger and intimidation. Regardless, he would make Xavier realise that he was no different from every other alpha in the room. He was merely a part of the horde.
Again, he was wrong.
The man didn't even remember him. He was dismissed again but this time Xavier looked at him like he could tell all his thoughts, and those thoughts were as unimpressive as a pebble on the floor. It left him feeling exposed.
"The world is filled with pretty faces. No matter how pretty a face, if it has no substance then it is not that impressive." Those were the words Xavier said when their shared acquaintance questioned his disinterest.
What an outrage.
He would show that obnoxious alpha. He schemed and manipulated his way into the man's bed, they passed their rut and heat together. He was satisfied.
Xavier became kinder and gentler. His words and actions bore a resemblance of affection. He thought he finally had the man crawling at his feet.
He was wrong.
"I'm always respectful and loyal to the people I share my bed with. It is basic decency." Xavier explained with a little chuckle, the amusement in the man's eyes mocked him endlessly. From then on, his determination only grew. He would make Xavier pay for this humiliation.
So, he remained by his side, and like Xavier had said he was loyal and respectful. Caring and affectionate, even... An onlooker may have mistaken it for love.
Iris briefly forgot his vendetta.
He got pregnant, it was Xavier's child. An alpha male. Xavier was uncharacteristically excited. From the way he lived, one would have expected his personal life to be quite messy. It was anything, but... Well, not counting the enemies he made in his line of work but no one's perfect, right?
The baby came safely, Alexei, Xavier named him. Not only did he name the child, he was obsessed with the boy. This was the first time Iris caught a true glimpse of the man's affection, not the rehearsed words and actions. The child received nothing but the full weight of his love and adoration.
He hated Xavier and he despised the child. He despised the child more when the news that his pheromones were special grade broke.
It was then he decided to punish Xavier Rockwell. He would punish him in the cruelest way he could think of, he would make the alpha unable to live without him.
As the child grew, so did his resentment, as did the love in Xavier's eyes. Iris became the interloper in a world just for the two of them. He was so focused on the child that he didn't even notice what was going on with his own body. If only the child would disappear.
He hurt Alexei and for the first time and for once, Xavier's focus was entirely on him, even if it was the alpha's pure ire he was happy. Xavier was finally looking at him, not through him.
He hurt the child again, and again Xavier looked at him.
This became the cycle. Each incident, an escalation from the last. Xavier couldn't take it anymore, so he banished Iris but then it was too late. Xavier developed a pheromone addiction.
Iris was on the run. He encountered an alpha who had just lost his spouse. His seduction worked quite well, partly because he was grief stricken. The widower had a child, a young boy about the age of his own son. He hated him...
He hated all children that reminded him of Alexei in any way, but he needed to leave. Xavier was still searching relentlessly for him. He convinced the widower to abandon his son and take him away. He did.
As the years passed by, Iris had his ears on the pavement for any news of Xavier. It was said that he had gotten another son, perhaps the man was not as loyal as he had claimed. Xavier had long been admitted into a centre. He spent his days there when his mind was not clear. Later, it seemed one built specifically with him in mind. He had stopped searching for him.
The boy had grown into a man. The two had forgotten about him and returned to their little bubble.
His hatred boiled over. So, he concocted a plan.
It wasn't much effort, having one of his admirers help him. He schemed and got Alexei drugged during one of his meetings. A waitstaff injected it straight into his gland, and the omegas he had paid, had their way with him. Maybe one of them would conceive a child but the plan went awry, or perhaps it didn't? Right in the middle of the assault, Alexei had a medical crisis. If he had died, he would have been imprinted on Xavier's mind forever, but he didn't. The other son saved him, but it was fine, Xavier was looking for him again.
He was on Xavier's mind just as the alpha had been branded on to his.