It was over.
It was truly over.
That chapter of his life was closed.
He didn't care what the verdict would be, he was just glad it was over.
"Are you sure you don't want to press charges?" Hillary asked again "We have a pretty compelling case for a civil lawsuit."
Lein managed a small smile "It's fine. There's no need to do that."
She nodded.
"Um..." He glanced around and shuffled towards her and whispered "J-Jay... Did...did he not come today too?"
She took his hand and gave it a firm squeeze "There have been a lot of things to deal with, but he has been following the case very closely." She said with a kind smile.
He nodded.
They both knew it was hollow comfort.
"Before you leave, the issue with Raymond has been settled. You will receive suitable compensation soon."
He was taken aback "Raymond?"
She laughed a little "It was either that or prison." She gave him a comforting pat on the back.
"Th-thank you."
As they walked out, Mari ran over with a brisk Hank on her heels. She clung to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. This last year had been nothing short of an absolute nightmare for their family, and it was now over.
Lein patted her back "Ma?"
She hummed.
"Should we... Should we go on a ride?"
Jason was currently in exile... from Lein's life.
And for good reasons too.
First, he was intent on keeping the promise he had made to Hank in exchange for their cooperation in the trial.
As for the other reason...
Jason spared Hillary and Patrick a glance to acknowledge their presence when they stepped into his office.
"We have settled with Yohan."
He nodded quietly and focused on the computer screen.
"He asked about you again."
His jaw twitched "Was his boyfriend not there?"
"No." Patrick answered.
"What?"
Patrick took an unconscious step back as Jason's focus moved from the computer screen to him "Except his parents, there was no one else by his side."
He pinched the bridge of his "Gav-..." He waved the thought away. Pushed himself out of the chair and walked around the table "We have to go speak with the professor." He grabbed his jacket "There is also the matter with the actors."
Together, the trio walked out of the office.
Jason knocked lightly on Eugenia's desk "Inform the president, I'll be out for a few days. You can leave after that."
"Yes sir."
Lein sat at the edge of his bed, his grip on the phone tightened as he grappled with the realisation that Jason had blocked him. His calls were not going through, nor were his messages being delivered.
He sighed, the man really never wanted to see him.
There was someone, somewhere, feeling abandoned, even more so than Lein.
It was Gavin.
The Steins witnessed a complete turnaround when the eldest child returned from rehabilitation. It was quite frankly, a phenomenon in its own way, especially for the parents, William and Estelle. Not that Gavin was a complete good-for-nothing, he had his advantages, but his lifestyle left much to be desired but his return from rehab unveiled a part of their child, even they didn't know existed.
For once, he did what was expected of him and… without prompt. He stepped up and took charge, especially at the company. For example, everyone assumed he hated the Rockwells but before the drug issue had even been brought to light he actively approached them and started making plans to manage the issue. They were beaming with pride. The person who was the biggest threat to their livelihood was now handling it with impressive maturity.
Not just that, he seemed to have learned a thing or two from those brothers because everyone was getting in line, from siblings to cousins, uncles and aunts... He was not giving anyone the opportunity to become a liability.
His previous social circle had been cut off, ruthlessly. His new life was work, home, group therapy and the occasional meetings with his peers. Not the old ones, the new ones. The ones that were essentially running their families, that's where he belonged now.
But....
For all of that change, his obsession with Curtis remained.
It was at the peak of the legal reckoning with the actors that Curtis went into labour. Their daughter came into the world, his parents were actually very happy.
He would have been just as happy as well, but this event marked the end of the farce that was their pair bond. He just didn't know when Curtis would leave.
The question of 'when' dangled above his neck like a blade and the blade came down one night, two weeks after their daughter was born.
"You haven't even held the child."
Curtis withdrew his hand from the door handle and turned around.
"For two weeks, the father that gave birth to her did not even spare her a glance."
He stared back blankly at the person that stood on the other side of the room.
"Curtis..."
"After everything that you have done, were you actually hoping that I would forgive you?" He asked flatly, no hint of spite, anger or grievance. Those feelings had long been exhausted.
Gavin walked across the room "Cur-Curtis, please... Okay? Just... Just take one look at her..." He pulled on his wrists as he pleaded "... she's, she's very beautiful, just like you. Please."
He didn't put up any struggle, he just remained rooted in place "Let me go."
"Curt-"
"Are you going to force me with the child too?"
His hold loosened and his hands fell to his sides as life drained out from his body "Her name… is Soleil, you won't even acknowledge that?" He asked with a shaky voice.
Curtis turned around, opened the door and walked out without a word.
"I'm begging you!" He wailed, following behind "This... Just... Please... The girl... So-Soleil..."
He remained determined, ignoring the desperate pleas as he walked to the car, his sister and her fiancé were waiting to take him away.
He dropped to his knees, grabbing Curtis's legs, clinging to them like they were life "Please, please, I'll do anything. Please. You can't..."
He reached over and plucked away his hands to free himself "Let go."
His brother-in-law to be ran out of the car "Fuck! Let him go already!" He shouted as he tried to unravel Gavin's hold.
His sister joined in the fray, pounding on his back "LET HIM GO! Haven't you ruined his life enough already?!" She screamed.
He ignored them and stayed firmly glued to the omega's legs. "Curtis, I changed, I did everything, right..." He asked looking up "...why are you... why are you leaving?"
He stared back at him "I hate you." He answered calmly "I hate you and I hate your child."
He let go, for the second time that night, he felt life drain out of him "Okay." He shook the other two off him and rose to his feet "I did everything..." His voice shook "...since you hate us so much, then just leave. Fucking leave, and don't ever come back."
His sister grabbed him and dragged him to the car, basically shoving him into the back. They were all in a hurry for fear that the crazy man would change his mind.
"DON'T EVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!"
Those were the last words Curtis heard before the door was shut. As they drove away, he turned around to catch a glimpse of Gavin watching their car drive away.
He stood there, watching silently. Even after the taillights had long disappeared into the night, he remained.
Curtis left them behind.
They had been abandoned.
He walked back into the house and headed for the nursery. Soleil was sleeping peacefully, ignorant of the world about her. He knelt by her crib and watched her sleep, this was all that was left behind. That was when the tears began to flow, uncontrollably… quietly until he was utterly spent.
Soleil stirred in her sleep, like she could sense his sorrows. A weak soft cry broke out.
He picked himself up and gathered her into his arms. He laid the tiny life against his chest to comfort her, she was all he had left, he would cherish her.
She yawned and went back to sleep.
This night Soleil became the centre of his world.
This night was the second worst night of his life.
He would never see Curtis again, at least not for a few more years...
Alexei had become excessively clingy, well... perhaps clingy wasn't the right word, more like invasive.
"Baby, who the hell keeps messaging you all the time?"
Ethan frowned, it wasn't all the time, it was 6 messages and they were from Edwin.
"Give me your phone." He reached out to grab it.
Ethan snatched the device away, his frown deepening as he climbed off the man's legs putting distance between them "What are you trying to do right now?"
He held out a hand "Give it to me." This wasn't his usual teasing or just him being a jerk trying to ruffle his husband's feathers, he was being serious.
"No."
"Ethan."
He stepped away "...no."
Recent events had instilled Alexei with a new fear, one that was gained watching his brother unravel under the weight of the realization that his partner had been suffering right by his side and he had no idea. And Ethan was… Ethan would never tell him if something was happening. Just the thought of Ethan being harassed in any way or form made him enraged, so much so that he couldn't think straight. "I won't say it again, give me the phone."
"Is this why you married me?"
"What?"
He tossed the phone at his feet and walked away.
Alexei glanced at the device, and then at his retreating husband. A knot formed in his chest. He picked up the phone and placed it on the table, with no intention of going through it. He just... Ethan... He wanted Ethan to be more dependent on him.
He felt so unsettled.
Ethan buried his face in the pillow to muffle the sound of his crying. Alexei was supposed to be different.
Well... That was that Saturday ruined.
As for the second reason Jason refused to see Lein… that was because he genuinely believed he did not deserve too, not after everything he had learned these past months.
"Fuck!" Alexei grunted and tossed his pen on to the table, when Jason crumpled yet another document "Go smoke a fucking stick or ten packs, just go get your shit together."
He pinched the bridge of his nose "Sorry." He mumbled.
Alexei observed him for a minute "Get out."
He met his gaze.
Alexei leaned over and snatched away the papers "Seriously, get the fuck out. If you can't focus, go brood someplace else."
"I just…" He rose out of the chair mechanically "…a lot on my mind lately."
He shooed him away impatiently with a wave of the hand "Just go." Jason wasn't the only thing grating on his nerves, Ethan had completely shut him out. He literally had to be carried out of that room, he wouldn't talk to him, even worse, he stopped eating. He just lay in bed and stared at the wall. No matter what he did or said, there was no reaction.
It left him at a total loss.
Jason rarely failed in his endeavours.
Rarely…
Not with his father watching over him, not with his brother by his side and not with the vast resources at his disposal.
But when it came to his relationship with Lein, he was an utter failure.
He read the messages again, a rather unhealthy habit, he had to admit but he could not bring himself to stop. He reached for the packet, paused for a second and decided against it. He really had to stop smoking so much. What he could not stop doing was questioning himself. Just how did he miss all that? How did he miss the obvious signs of withdrawal? The harassment? Such glaring signs, all right there.
The phone was ever present, always buzzing. It was on his own insistence that Lein even thought to keep his phone on his person. Was he so caught up in his own shit that he didn't even notice the total psychological breakdown and unraveling of the person he shared a bed with?
…he asked himself over and over, but there was no answer. No matter how much he reflected, how he dissected the wreckage that was their relationship, he got nothing.
There were no answers.
So fucking pathetic…
When Alexei returned home, Ethan had not moved an inch. He looked at Irene, who was stationed by the door. This wasn't even their bedroom.
Irene's cold eyes met his "In the event that he chooses to leave you, I will do nothing to stop him."
He knew she meant every word. "Did he eat?"
She shook her head in reply.
His chest heaved as the knot that had settled in there tightened even more "Eth..." He took a deep breath, they couldn't go on like this. He opened the door gently "Ethan..." He called out softly as he approached the bed.
There was no reply.
He took off his watch and emptied his pockets on to the bedside table and climbed into the bed, carefully. "Ethan..." He pulled the blanket-wrapped figure into his arms "...I am so sorry. I crossed the line." He drew in a lungful of air as he inched closer "Please, say something... don't do this to yourself."
The person remained silent.
The back of his throat burned "...please say something."
Still nothing.
He unraveled the blanket with steady hands. What he saw almost shattered him. Ethan lay in the blanket, hands clamped over his mouth to muffle his cries. "Ba...Baby?" His ears rang and the knot in his chest morphed into a hand with a death grip on his heart. He gathered him, blanket and all into his arms "I am so… so sorry..." He rocked their bodies back and forth "It's my fault. I messed up. Don't, don't cry."
They remained like this until his muffled cries became tiny hiccups.
Alexei patted his back gently "Let's get to something to make you feel better, okay?" Seeing no resistance, he gathered him and his blanket shell and took him downstairs.
Alexei very attentively fed his husband, bathed him and tucked him into bed.
"Why..." Ethan whispered. Alexei was… is supposed to different. He had to be, he had bey everything on that. He wasn't anything like he parents and he definitely wasn't like that trash, John, so why would he do something like that?
"I know you're angry and you don't want to see me. So, I'll sleep somewhere else."
He pushed himself up slowly, shaking his head "Why did you want to see my phone?"
His voice was so light, Alexei almost couldn't hear him. He walked back to the bedside and sat, before letting out a long sigh "Ethan, I really... No, I am worried and a little terrified..." He shuffled closer "Sometimes, I think you should..." He sighed again "Ethan, if you ever encounter any difficulties you have to tell me, immediately. I know you like to do things on your own and you don't like it when I interfere in your affairs, I know that, but I get anxious." He tapped a finger on the side of the mattress "With you, I often have the feeling like I'm just watching from the sidelines..." He took Ethan's hand in his, his thumb caressed his ring "…so I guess I lost my mind for a moment. " He brought the ring to his lips for a light kiss "Goodnight."
Ethan held him back "Don't go..." He whispered.
Alexei glanced down at his clothes, he hadn't had time to freshen up and change but that was secondary. He climbed under the covers.
Ethan burrowed deep into his embrace, listening quietly to the steady rhythm of his husband's heartbeat. It was soothing "Alex?"
"Mm?"
"I'm scared too." He said quietly. He was pulled closer as the arms around him tightened. He decided then, he would ask Dr. Beck for an extra session "Please don't hate me."
Even Lein himself was a bit uncertain about the possibility of finishing his coursework in time for graduation but he did it.
Surprising as it was, he did it.
He walked down that aisle and accepted his diploma with his parents and Ethan watching and cheering him on from the audience.
He felt a little… no he was beaming with pride, not that graduating was his dream or anything, but an accomplishment was an accomplishment, nonetheless.
After the ceremony, they moved to the cafe for a little celebration. This wasn't just about Lein graduating, it was much more than that. It was a culmination of all his hard work this last year.
The cafe was closed for the day.
The mood was great.
Everyone that was invited came.
Well...
Almost everyone.
Jason didn't, not that the man was available to be contacted.
Unfortunately, he had still been barred from initiating any contact with the other party. Lein would have gone to his home, but he didn't want to be any more of a nuisance, so he sat still and waited.
Gavin's arrival with Soleil had Mari and Ethan excited. They gathered around her carrier to play with the little sunshine.
"I'm sorry..." Even with Gavin's reassurance, he still felt bad for not paying more attention to him.
Gavin smiled "It's fine, you had your own stuff to deal with." He said with a shrug. His gaze focused on his daughter on the other side of the room "I can't wallow in misery, I've got to take care of my kid." He added with a bitter smile.
Lein followed his gaze "She's beautiful."
"Yea…" He nodded in agreement.
The two watched her from across the room in silence. It was fascinating, everything about her caused a peculiar feeling to blossom deep within them. It was warm and all-consuming, they were spellbound but they didn't fight it, they welcomed it.
It was a good feeling.
"Did you ever think about it?" Gavin asked suddenly, his eyes still fixed on his daughter.
Lein turned to him "What?"
"Having a kid... maybe with Jay?"
Did he? Oh, he did… He had fantasized about building a permanent life with Jason many, many times. In fact, that was one of the main reasons he started the arduous journey of rediscovering and redefining himself. It was ironic, he had finally gotten to where Jason wanted him to be, but Jason wasn't there to see it "I don't think that's possible." He answered quietly.
He tore his gaze away from the child and focused on the man by his side "Why?"
"He hates me."
That didn't sound right. He had been in those meetings, he knew just how far Jason had gone to protect him but that wasn't his place to say "Bro, you're definitely misunderstanding something." He replied casually and redirected his gaze, a smile formed on his face when he heard her laughter "I should bring her here more often."
"Yea, Ma loves kids."
"So, why is it just you?"
"Dude... Don't bring that shit up around my parents."
Gavin chuckled "I wonder how Alexei will react to this..." He pointed at Ethan.
Lein flashed a knowing smile "If you stay long enough, you'll find out."
As they were conversing, Henry showed up, flowers and all... uninvited. Lein excused himself to speak with him, it was better to deal with this once and for all.
"I heard about your graduation from some people in group... And... And the trial too. It was on the news, I guessed it had something to do with you..." He explained, the wrapper on the bouquet crumpled a bit. "I've been trying to get in touch with you…"
Lein watched him quietly.
"...you stopped showing up to group..." He averted his gaze "...if it's because you feel completely well without it, that you genuinely no longer need it and not because I make you uncomfortable, then that's fine but otherwise, please go back. I'll stop showing up-"
"No, you should keep going. You like your work there."
"Then..." He looked up, hopefully "... you'll come back?"
He thought about it and nodded "Sure, I'll show up."
Henry visibly relaxed "About last time-"
"I'm sorry, you were right and I was callous." It was only after being confronted with the sheer malice of the Bohemians that he understood how his belief that he owed no one anything translated into insensitivity and selfishness.
"No...no, I was the one who kept badgering you... You probably felt like you had no other options."
Lein couldn't help but smile, he could have simply ignored him but... Whatever.
Henry offered the flowers and gift bag "That night, no matter how hurt I was, I should never have said that. I can't apologize enough." He presented the flowers "For you..."
He took a small step back "I can't accept that, sorry."
Henry blinked "This is not about that..." He took a deep breath "... congratulations on your graduation and for over a year of being sober." He offered them again "I know we can't be together, and that's fine. I think you're really cool and maybe, we could be friends?" he smiled sheepishly.
He swallowed, tentatively accepting them "Th-thank you." He stared at the bouquet for a few seconds before facing Henry "Do you... Would you like to come in for a bit?"
He shook his head in polite refusal "I don't want to make things even more awkward." He added with a small chuckle before turning to leave.
"Henry?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
He nodded "I'll drop by for coffee sometime."
"Okay."
He left.
Lein sank to the floor, hugging the flowers to his chest. Henry was a good person, he knew that, but what he really wanted were flowers from Jason.
Why won't Jason talk to him?
"Dude, stop glaring at my kid."
Ethan's insistence on staying back to play with baby Soleil was the sole reason Alexei was still here. He only meant to say a quick greeting to the hosts, give Lein his congratulations and whisk his husband away, but here he was seated with Gavin watching Ethan fawn over someone's daughter "I'm not glaring." He stated.
"Hey..." Gavin leaned in "...if you get Neil to sign with Blue Star, I'll make you guys her official godparents."
Alexei's gaze narrowed, he stood up and walked to his partner "Baby..."
Ethan grabbed his arm "Look..." He said excitedly "Look, she's smiling at you."
She was. That girl found joy in everything. It was one of the reasons everyone was obsessed with her.
Alexei stared back at her wide bright eyes. He had always believed he would never have children, not really because he didn't want them but due to his condition. Then he met Ethan, he got better... Maybe he should look into it.
"Do you want to hold her?" Ethan had already picked her up.
She laughed again.
"You clearly want to hold her more than I do..." He answered as he pinched her cheek lightly "...do you want one?"
Ethan glared at him "Don't talk about her like that."
He chuckled, that wasn't what he meant… "How about being her godparent? You'll get to see her often."
His eyes widened at the thought "Really?" He squealed.
Alexei nodded, doing little to suppress the grin his partner's delight drew out "Yes." He dropped a kiss on his cheek a d returned to his seat "Guess it's welcome to the family." He said calmly before taking a sip of his mocha.
Gavin smirked.
Exhausted, Soleil fell asleep and Gavin took her away.
"It's so sad." Ethan whined.
"Baby, I already asked and we can't take her with us."
Ethan pinched his arm again "That's not what I'm talking about, Jay didn't come."
"Oh..." He glanced at Lein who was speaking to some guests "...well, baby, he can't."
Ethan pouted "Why?"
"That's... Ethan, can we not get involved?"
"It's not fair." He pressed his lips into a thin line "Lein has been waiting... It's not fair."
"No... No... Baby..." He cupped his cheeks "Don't be sad, okay? What do you want? You want them to talk? You want Jay to show up? Just say it?"
He furrowed his brows "You can't force them to get back together."
"If that's what you want, I swear I'll make it happen." He said confidently.
Ethan couldn't help but laugh "You're so silly."
He nodded, satisfied that his sullen mood had eased "Well?"
He stood on his toes and brushed his lips against his, a finger circled his chest playfully "I'll wait in the car." He whispered as his hand lightly brushed the other's chest. He walked away.
"That little...." He turned around and walked straight to Lein, brimming with determination. "Rosie."
Lein was stunned by the sudden address "...yes."
He cleared his throat "As congratulations, I have a gift for you. Tomorrow a car will come for you. It will be a bit of a journey as you'll be going out of town. The Glasshouse, I'm sure you remember it, so make suitable preparations."
"What?"
He eyed him "You want to see Jay, don't you?"
"Yes..." He scratched the back of his neck "... but he doesn't want to see me. Doesn't he hate-"
Alexei almost rolled his eyes "Don't be silly, after everything, isn't it ridiculous to say he hates you?"
"What?"
"It's true that a lot of interests were aligned in the matter of the trials, it's why everything went so smoothly but if someone somewhere weren't play architect on your behalf, you think it would be so easy?" He asked impatiently, he just wanted to go back to Ethan "Tomorrow, get in the car and hopefully, talk some sense into that idiot. He's been completely useless these last weeks." He turned around ready to return "Oh..." He stopped suddenly "You can fight, right?"
"What?"
"Yeah..." He eyed him again "...I think you'll be fine. Just make sure to announce your arrival as soon as you get there. Release your pheromones or say something so he knows it's you, if not you might get attacked. I'll send you a sedative, just in case. He gets a little loopy in the period around his ruts…" he eyed him again "…but you should know that. Who knows? Might come in handy." He left the confused Lein behind and walked briskly to the car.
The world was full of people who had betrayed their brothers for beauty, what was one more person? He all but flew at Ethan "I fixed it..." He said in between kisses "Are you happy?"
He nodded impatiently.
They shared another kiss.
"You know, Henry came today."
Mari hummed an acknowledgement. She stared into the mirror, weaving her hair into a single braid.
"He's a good person." Hank continued.
"Yes, he is." She agreed absentmindedly.
"I thought you didn't like him."
She let go of her hair and met her husband's eyes in the mirror "I never said he wasn't a good person. I said he's just not suitable."
"Mari, he-"
"Remember when Rose developed a fascination with that chocolate... I forget the name, the one with the little marshmallows in them..."
"Ah..." Hank smiled fondly as he recalled the memory "We put them high up on the shelves, right?"
"Yes, those ones." She smiled too, the nostalgia was contagious "You remember there was something in them that made him allergic. He would always break out into hives, but we couldn't figure it out until he got tested so we just got him another kind and decided to give the that one to the neighbours."
Hank leaned back into the pillow, laughing "That boy was chaos reincarnated back then." He shook his head at the memory.
They had explained to him several times that those chocolates were bad for him, but he didn't listen. He didn't even give the alternative a chance. They returned home to see that he had stacked a chair on the table and tried to reach the jar. He would have fallen over and gotten seriously hurt if Hank hadn't caught him in time. Instead of feeling sorry, Lein held the jar tightly to his chest with a triumphant smile.
He was six at the time.
"He was. It was the same thing when he was in high school, when he dropped out of school, the tattoo, the bike, when he got his bartending license..." She walked over and sat by his side "Do you still think Henry is a good choice? Rose will walk all over him, so no, he is not."
"But, you were angry at Jay."
She patted his hand "I was, but he was doing what was necessary. Jay managed to do something that we were hesitant to do. It was difficult, yes but now…" her lips curled into a soft smile "…Rose is safe and the people that hurt him paid for what they did."
Hank wasn't so easily satisfied "I don't like that Rose is so obedient with him."
"Oh please…" she scoffed.
"You're too biased."
"He's a responsible and sensible person, Rose will be fine." She stood and returned to the vanity "Alternatively, as I have said many times, you can go tell him to give up on Jay yourself, if that works."
"It's not just about giving up on Jay. The man doesn't want to see him again."
"Is this so? I was under the impression that he was keeping the promise he made to you."
It was Hank's turn to scoff. He thought about it for a moment "Now, I kind of feel bad for Jay, when Rose is done wallowing..." He chuckled.