"Cough, cough, cough…"
Snape choked on his drink because he had swallowed it too quickly.
He didn't seem to drink much; whether at any Hogwarts banquet or faculty gathering, Sherlock had never seen him touch a glass of alcohol, not even fruit wine.
This glass of whisky, once swallowed, immediately brought an unnatural flush to his extremely pale face.
Sherlock did not drink as hurriedly as he did, but instead took small, gentle sips.
If Snape needed alcohol to numb himself now, then Sherlock had to remain sober.
"It's my own fault," Snape said in a low voice, sniffing.
"A person as intelligent as she is, of course, knew I wasn't worth forgiving. Subsequent events proved she was right; right after graduation, I became a subordinate of that person, was branded with the Dark Mark, and became his die-hard follower."
Sherlock didn't speak; he knew that Snape didn't need someone to converse with, but rather someone to listen.
Snape picked up the bottle, his hand trembling as he poured whisky into his glass, swaying and spilling quite a bit onto the tabletop.
"She was right; she should have seen through me long ago. In our fourth year, I tried to drag her down, to make her become the same kind of person as me. It wasn't enough for me to fall; I wanted to take her into that abyss with me."
"When I found out Lily and Potter were married, I really hated him, and I hated her a little too. She clearly knew what Black and those people had done to me at school. I hated her for not being magnanimous, hated her for not clinging to our past feelings at all, and hated her for choosing such a bastard instead of me."
"When I was under that person, I told them I had long forgotten about Lily. I said there were plenty of women in the world better than her. But in reality, I was always thinking about how to catch Potter, capture him, and use the methods he used to torment me to torture him a thousand times over. A kind person like Lily would surely plead for him, and as long as she spoke up... as long as she spoke up, I could magnanimously let him go..."
Having downed two glasses of strong liquor, Snape was already drunk. The alcohol numbed his nerves, but it made the feelings he had kept hidden deep in his heart even more intense.
His features were twisted; he had never shown such a sorrowful expression at Hogwarts. Tears streamed from his eyes once again, and he clutched his head, weeping bitterly.
"Because... because I still love her! I have never been able to forget her... I love her..."
Sherlock stared at Snape, thinking back to when he first arrived at Hogwarts and first saw him, recalling the movie commentary from his past life, wondering whether to judge him as a good person or a bad one.
Now, perhaps he could see it a bit more clearly.
If Lily hadn't existed from the beginning, or even if Lily hadn't died in the end, Snape would have been a scoundrel through and through.(TN: No kidding.)
From the moment he entered Slytherin, he associated with students who favoured pure-blood theories. By his fourth year, he was already studying the Dark Arts and maintaining contact with bastards like Lucius Malfoy, who became Death Eaters immediately after graduation.
Lily saw him for who he was, and eventually, because of the "Mudblood" incident acting as a catalyst, she gave up on Snape completely, knowing that if she continued to be with someone like him, it would definitely not end well.
Snape did indeed fall into complete depravity afterwards. After graduation, he immediately joined the Death Eaters, was branded with the Dark Mark, became a die-hard follower of that person, and within a year entered the inner circle of the Death Eaters.
Being quickly accepted into such an organisation and regarded as one of their own by an extremist like Lord Voldemort, one could imagine what he did during his time as a Death Eater.
If things had continued like that, Snape might eventually have become like Lucius Malfoy, perhaps even more loyal to Lord Voldemort than Malfoy was.
But people are complex; the appearance of the prophecy about the Chosen One and Lily's death became the crucial turning point in Snape's destiny.
Snape's love for Lily had never changed, but Sherlock still couldn't understand why, if he loved Lily so much, he would show such a malicious attitude towards the son of the person he loved most after turning to Dumbledore and becoming a Professor at Hogwarts.
Was it really just because Harry was a Potter?
Was it really just because he was a Gryffindor?
Watching Snape's drunken state now, Sherlock tried to see if he could get an answer.
"Since you loved her so much, why were you so harsh towards Harry? Was it just because he was James's son?"
Clutching the wine bottle, Snape buried his entire face in his elbows and said in a choked voice.
"Dumbledore and I had an agreement... He said that person had only lost his power and would definitely make a comeback... When the day he returns comes, Harry would be his main target... I had to act like I hated Harry. Only by doing so, when that person returned... could I continue to gain his trust and lie in wait by his side..."
"He is Lily's child... I don't want him to be in danger... Lily died for him... So I must protect him... protect him well... I cannot let Lily be disappointed in me again..."
His voice grew lower and lower until, finally, he stopped speaking altogether and fell asleep on the table.
Snape had a very poor tolerance for alcohol; after two glasses, he was already dead drunk.
After listening to his account, Sherlock silently drank the wine in his glass. Now he finally understood why Snape had such a terrible attitude towards Harry. Dumbledore had known all along and hadn't intervened much.
It turned out they had already arranged it; when Lord Voldemort made his comeback, Snape would act as a high-level spy within the Death Eaters to gather intelligence for Dumbledore's side.
Looking at Snape slumped over the table, Sherlock's expression was complicated, because although Snape's actions were complicated, his purpose was remarkably pure.
Finally, he let out a long sigh, called the bar owner over, and asked him to help carry Snape to a guest room on the second floor.
Sherlock stayed on the first floor alone for a while longer, as though planning something. It was nearly three in the morning before he went back to his room to rest.
A night passed, and at ten o'clock the next morning, when Snape walked down from the second floor of the bar, Sherlock was sitting by the shop window on the first floor, eating bread.
"Do you want some? Let's order a cup of hot milk too; you drank quite a lot last night."
Snape sat down opposite him, and Sherlock ordered breakfast for him as well.
"What did I say to you last night?"
Snape's expression had returned to the same gloomy, numb look he wore at Hogwarts. His eyes were vacant, like an empty shell devoid of emotion.
Sherlock replied calmly,
"You just talked about some things from your past, that's all. You didn't say anything else. Better eat something first."
The two ate breakfast in silence; neither took the initiative to speak.
Only after they had finished eating did Sherlock look at Snape with a serious expression.
"So, do you have any thoughts now?"
Snape gazed out of the window at the large chimney belching black smoke into the sky and spoke softly.
"She refuses to forgive me, but I have to save her."
Sherlock seemed to have expected that answer. He wasn't surprised and simply continued.
"And then what? Do you have a plan? How do you intend to save her? In what way?"
Snape fell silent. Last night's meeting with Lily was enough to prove that she wouldn't believe a word he said, nor would she listen to him or do anything he suggested.
He could forcibly take her away, but then what? What would he do afterwards?
Keep her by his side and feed her Amortentia?
Snape couldn't do something so disgusting. He loved Lily as a person, not merely her body. If he had truly harboured such thoughts, he could have done such a thing back when they were students at Hogwarts.
If he wouldn't do that, then what should he do?
Defeat Lord Voldemort in this world?
That would also keep Lily out of mortal danger, but if Lord Voldemort were really that easy to defeat, could he still be called the Dark Lord of the Wizarding World?
Sherlock also saw Snape's bewilderment and knew he was completely at a loss about how to save Lily. He tapped his knuckles lightly on the table, drawing Snape's attention.
"I can help you."
Snape stared at Sherlock.
"What do you mean?"
"Let's make a simple agreement," Sherlock said, looking into Snape's eyes. "It's 1977 now. There are three years left until the prophecy about the Chosen One appears. I only need two years. If we haven't found a way to return to the correct timeline within two years, then I will do everything in my power to help you change the original history and let Lily live."
Snape looked at the locket still hanging around Sherlock's neck, knowing that it was the object that had brought them back here.
"Time can only be turned back; there has never been a Time-Turner that can travel to the future."
Sherlock looked out of the window. This city, filled with grey, was oppressive just to look at.
"I know the possibility of going back is very, very low—basically zero. But some things must always be tried. Just as you know the possibility of saving Lily is basically zero, yet you still want to try anyway. Isn't it the same?"
Snape fell silent. He seemed to be thinking about Sherlock's words, and he didn't know what else he could do besides agreeing.
Sherlock didn't urge him. He simply watched the gloomy sky quietly, waiting for Snape's reply.
After a long while, Snape spoke slowly.
"What do you plan to do during these two years?"
Sherlock knew this effectively meant he had agreed, so he stood up from his chair.
"I don't have any other plans at the moment, but first we should find a place to stay."