It was twenty-two years after the transmigration. Simon had confirmed beyond a doubt that this was a peaceful worldline. There was no Honkai. No apocalypse. Just daily life.
He had already emerged as a winner in life. He had married a beautiful, wealthy woman and was currently preparing to take over as CEO of Massive Electric, poised to reach the absolute peak of society.
Although his wife's best friends—one with white hair and blue eyes, the other with silver hair and grey eyes—seemed to harbor designs on him, he was a devoted husband. He would absolutely not entertain a single stray thought.
[Ding.]
[Conditions met. The "Toxic Romance System" has successfully loaded. Please feel free to use "Toxic" methods to capture the heroine's heart!]
Sigh. Although his current life was already perfect, having a System would surely open up even broader horizons... wait.
[Ding.]
[Conditions met. The "Paragon Romance System" has successfully loaded. Please feel free to use "Paragon" methods to capture the heroine's heart!]
Oh? A dual system? Now that was interesting.
It looked like he might have to apologize to Mei after all. Let me see what this is about!
Wait... Bad! Why is there a Dungeon feature?! Does this Romance System imply I have to raid dungeons?!
Oh god, why is this System so evil?
No, wait! You garbage System! Why is "Honkai Resistance" listed in the rewards?! You aren't planning to trigger an apocalypse, are you?!
The System is trying to kill me!
Stop! Give me back my relaxed, breezy daily life!
Warm mist mixed with the sweet aroma of milk tea drifted into his face. Simon tried to use the steam to obscure his vision, but the thin white fog failed to form any physical barrier between him and the threat sitting across the table.
How on earth did Mei dare to let me come out alone to meet Kiana?
Simon massaged his temples in distress.
Sitting opposite him was a girl pretending to bury her face in cake while secretly observing him.
A pristine white cable-knit sweater draped over her slender frame. The drop-shoulder sleeves piled up like fluffy clouds, creating an air of lazy elegance while exposing just the right amount of her pale forearms. As she leaned forward slightly, the diamond-shaped cutout at the collar revealed a teasing glimpse of her collarbone.
A pale blue A-line skirt cut a wave-like silhouette across her knees, inviting the imagination to wander to the beauty hidden beneath. When the hem shifted inadvertently, it "accidentally" flashed the corner of a thigh strap that was squeezing her flesh ever so slightly.
Hiss.
This woman was terrifying. He could not stay here long.
Realizing that if he dared to look Kiana in the eye he would inevitably fall into her trap, Simon turned his head to admire the distant scenery, finally catching his breath.
The specific fetishes cultivated by that damn game developer, Mihoyo, were utterly defenseless against a critical hit of this magnitude.
This woman was serious.
She was driving a bulldozer, tearing down his fortifications and conquering his territory. One scoop had already pried open Simon's city gates. The collapse of the gates was frightening enough, but now he had to worry about whether she would roll up her sleeves and bulldoze the entire city wall next.
Noticing Simon's retreat, a trace of triumph flashed in Kiana's eyes. She cheered herself on, preparing to press her advantage.
"Is the cake not good?" she asked.
"It... it's good..."
Simon, the deserter, was dragged back by her voice. He was forced to look at Kiana again, but a single glance compelled him to lower his head mechanically and shovel cake into his mouth to escape her staggering charisma once more.
Kiana's feet are so white too...
No! Bad thoughts!
Simon roared internally the moment the scumbag thought crossed his mind.
To capture me, you've even calculated this far? You Kaslana Husky...
Just then, a line of floating text flashed before Simon's eyes.
[Ding.]
Hm? Could it be?
Simon felt a surge of excitement. Even though this was a peaceful timeline where he had already married a rich beauty, having a System was always a bonus, right?
[Conditions met. The "Toxic Romance System" has loaded. Please feel free to use "Toxic" methods to capture the heroine!]
What the hell?
Putting aside the word "Toxic" for a moment... how was a married man supposed to capture anyone?
Hmm... Could it be like those tropes where the System arrives ten years late, and I can just farm rewards using Mei's maxed-out affection stat? That wouldn't be bad...
While Simon was pondering, another line of text appeared.
[Ding.]
Huh?
[Conditions met. The "Paragon Romance System" has loaded. Please feel free to use "Paragon" methods to capture the heroine!]
Although Simon personally leaned toward the Paragon route...
Can I get double rewards?
He started fantasizing again. Dreaming of freeloading two sets of rewards, reaching a second peak in life, becoming the Overseer of Schicksal, and saving the world.
[@*&#$%!! getUserInfo()]
[System conflict detected. Forcing merger...]
[Interface protocol accepted. System Launching.]
[This System is the Paragon/Toxic Romance System. It aims to help the Player capture heroines efficiently, economically, and excellently, leading to the peak of life and embracing a happy existence.]
[Disclaimer follows:]
[This System only provides mission tasks and rewards. All romance operations must be executed by the Player. Please balance emotional conflicts between heroines. The System assumes no responsibility for hatchet endings, Shuraba fields, or harem fires.]
It means: take it easy. Don't play with girls' hearts until you get yourself killed.
Why does it assume I'll have a harem? I'm clearly a devoted, loyal man! My Mei is number one in the world! Simon protested.
[If Player behavior causes major social impact, this System bears no relation.]
A universe-level liability waiver.
Heh. Useless third-rate webnovel System. If you can't share the suffering, you might as well get lost!
[Players can earn Paragon/Toxic Points or experience by completing missions and dungeon raids to draw rewards or level up. Completing Bond Missions yields massive rewards.]
Well, on the other hand, sharing the wealth is pretty nice too.
Simon's evaluation: This System had at least studied at a top-tier institution.
"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!"
Kiana had called Simon several times without a response and was on the verge of laughing out of sheer anger.
This dog of a man! She had dressed up meticulously and arranged this meeting specifically when Mei was busy, planning to dazzle him completely. And yet, this guy dared to space out while eating cake!
"Ah? Yes, yes, of course."
Simon snapped back to reality, only to realize he had finished his cake long ago and was currently mechanically spooning air into his mouth. He could only nod repeatedly.
"Yes, what?! You dog, you dare daydream when you're with me? Are you tired of living?!"
Kiana slammed the table and stood up, her eyes wide with rage.
This lady is so beautiful she makes fish sink and geese drop... No! I mean, I possess a graceful and manifold beauty! Look at this magnificent face! Look at these pellucid autumn-water blue eyes! Look at this waist you could hold in one hand! Look at these long, slender legs slightly squeezed by the thigh strap! You dead ghost! Look at me!
Kiana mentally cycled through every idiom she had learned from the Class Monitor, wishing she could poke every attractive part of her body directly into Simon's eyeballs so he would deeply remember her beauty.
Seeing Kiana act like this, Simon let out a breath of relief and sat up straight.
"Sorry. I was just thinking about work."
That's the flavor.
This is my Kiana. That lazy, quiet beauty from a moment ago must have been a chaotic imposter.
This! Guy!
Kiana nearly crushed her silver teeth. It was bad enough this dog thought about work during a date! But! Now! He actually dared to look her in the eye instead of dodging like before!
Calm down! Kiana, you have to work hard to realize the dream of monogamy.
Realizing she had broken character, she struggled to use the breathing technique she learned from the Class Monitor to regulate her breath, returning to the gentle beauty persona from earlier.
"...It's okay. Men who love their work are handsome too."
She smoothed her clothes, sat back down, and offered a beautiful smile.
Hiss.
Simon once again contributed to global warming.
Even knowing this facade was an act put on to capture him, he couldn't withstand that radiating charisma.
Simon's peripheral vision drifted to a billboard on a distant high-rise. The advertisement had just changed.
Thank god. It's Elysia. We are saved!
He stared dead-eyed at the photo of Elysia winking, looking terrifyingly calm.
One prayer to the Realm of Elysia a day keeps the infidelity away.
[Novice Mission: The First Crime (Operation)]
[A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Please begin your first Crime (Operation) and take the first step on your great journey!]
[Mission Requirement: Speak from the heart / Act Toxically. Make the maiden's heart skip a beat.]
[Mission Reward: Unlock Personal Panel and Dungeon Function.]
Crime? You aren't even pretending anymore, are you?