"Then let me ask you: is having two points higher than the average adult male considered 'strong' or 'weak'?"
[The System has its own evaluation standards.]
"You're just slandering me."
[This is not slander.]
Simon's bickering with the System didn't last long, because dinner was ready.
Rule #1 of the Su Household:
Never fail to eat Mei's cooking on time!
Simon dropped the childish argument with the System, his eyes turning steely.
I am here to terminate this dinner!
However, as he helped Mei bring the dishes to the table, he instinctively clutched his kidney area.
Garlic vermicelli roasted oysters. Stir-fried pork kidneys. Scrambled eggs with garlic chives.
What is she planning? Wait... Is she planning to do ME?!
Simon picked up a slice of kidney, putting it in his mouth to chew. Hmm. Just as tender and smooth as always.
It was just... Mei's gaze was a little terrifying. It was clearly a gentle, watery look, yet it made Simon feel like he was sitting on pins and needles.
"Uh..." Simon couldn't handle the intensity. He looked up at Mei, whose eyes were curved into happy crescents. "Wife, aren't you eating?"
"I'll eat after you finish."
Mei propped her chin on one hand, smiling radiantly at Simon.
Eat... eat what exactly?
A drop of cold sweat rolled down Simon's forehead.
That woman beat me until I kneeled... she must be planning to...
Seeing his guilty expression, Mei burst into giggles.
"Alright, alright~ Stop acting weird. Hurry up and eat."
She picked up an oyster, deftly scooping out the plump meat.
"Say 'ah'~"
Looking into Mei's glistening, beautiful eyes, Simon couldn't refuse.
"Delicious."
The spicy garlic aroma had fully permeated the oyster, while the crisp vermicelli added texture and locked in the savory juices. It was perfectly up to Mei's usual standard.
However, I can't remain passive like this.
Simon picked up a piece of kidney and held it to Mei's lips.
"You're acting like a child."
Mei chided him for his competitive gesture, but obediently ate the food Simon offered.
And so, the dinner devolved into a "I feed you a bite, you feed me a bite" affair. If Kiana were here to witness this sickening display of affection, she would probably be so angry that smoke would pour from her seven orifices, cursing the couple for being so cringe-worthy.
Although their lovey-dovey antics slowed down the meal, they finished quickly enough. After all, both of them tacitly understood what was going to happen tonight.
After a fierce session of cloud and rain... (Yes, you missed 10,000 words).
Mei lay lazily in the crook of Simon's arm, her alluring curves pressed tight against his chest.
"How was your outing with Kiana today?"
Mei's breath was like an orchid as she whispered the question into Simon's ear.
Here it comes. The death question: "Did you have fun with my best friend?"
It seemed simple enough to just answer "It wasn't fun." But that was a trap. Although Kiana coveted Simon, she and Mei were still close. Answering too negatively might cause conflict for bad-mouthing her friend, while answering too positively would look suspicious.
"Kiana... well, she's the same as always. Even though she dressed up beautifully, she's still just as loud and chaotic. When will that child ever grow up?"
Exactly! That's the way!
Avoid talking about whether it was fun. Acknowledge she looked good (honesty) but frame her personality as childish (dismissing sexual tension). Simon was a veteran at this!
Mei smiled at his answer.
"That's just how Kiana is. It's part of her charm~ You aren't allowed to bully her, okay?"
"Oh my god, how would I dare bully the little Princess of Schicksal? I'm just a humble successor to a corporate president. I should be thanking heaven if she doesn't bully me."
Simon used the "feigning victimhood" strategy to parry the hidden killing intent of her question. He successfully made Mei tremble with laughter, her soft, elastic body pressing against him, almost causing him to stir again.
Fortunately, Simon had excellent self-control. The big head controlled the little head, and he finally coaxed his wife to sleep.
Today's Love Battle: A minor victory for Simon... right?
Now, it was time for the nightlife.
System, Launch!
"Come on, System. Translate for me. What exactly is a 'Dungeon'?"
[A Dungeon is a virtual scenario for players to kill monsters, gain experience, acquire items, and train skills. During play, the Player's physical body remains immobile while their consciousness enters the Dungeon world. If the Player takes damage in the Dungeon, their Spirit will decrease. When the decrease reaches 50% of the Spirit cap, the System will forcibly eject the Player.]
"Tell me again, what is the name of this System?"
[This System is the Paragon/Toxic Romance System.]
"And who exactly are we romancing here?!"
[The purpose of this System is to help the Player capture heroines.]
"Forget it. I feel like if I take you seriously, I lose."
Looking at the System's robotic responses, Simon didn't have the energy to roast it further.
"It looks like a Sword Art Online setup. Wait, you won't lock me inside, will you?"
[This System strictly abides by laws and regulations and will not endanger the Player's life. Any dangerous operations cannot be executed without Player authorization.]
"Fine. Link start! I want to link right now!"
[Dungeon Loading...]
[Loading Complete. Dungeon: The Honkai of Nagazora City. We hope you enjoy your play.]
What the hell? Where did you send me?!
Simon's face changed. Just as he was about to curse, his consciousness was sucked into a vortex, punching through clouds and mist before landing inside a building.
Dizzy and disoriented, Simon forced his eyes open and looked around. He was dumbfounded.
Where am I?
The environment was incredibly familiar. He worked here every day. He was about to become the CEO here.
Bro, you sent me to Massive Electric (ME Corp)? I have to go to work even when I'm raiding a dungeon?!
Complaints aside, Simon's vigilance was maxed out. Seeing the dungeon name, he had already guessed where this was. This was likely Nagazora City after the Third Eruption in the original timeline. He refused to believe the System sent him here without a deeper meaning.
"Dog System, explain yourself?"
[Please explore the Dungeon on your own.]
As expected. The dog System won't tell me anything.
But he had his ways.
"Then let me ask you, what is the clear condition for this Dungeon?"
[Clear Condition: Defeat the 3rd Herrscher, Raiden Mei.]
[Hint: If the Player dies in the Dungeon, resurrection will reset Dungeon progress.]
"So the goal is a one-life clear of the Nagazora City instance?"
Simon fell into thought. This condition implied many things.
Seeing no further response from the System, Simon observed his surroundings. He confirmed he was near the employee lounge. He pulled out the [Demon Blade: Muramasa] the System had just gifted him, licked his dry lips, and glanced at the skill in his bar: [Hokushin Itto-ryu Lv.1 (Apprentice)].
I, too, know a little something about swordsmanship!
Combat... feels good!