The week flew by.
Time in a training arc is usually a montage of sweat, shouting, and breakthroughs. For Team 7, it was exactly that.
Team 7 Progress Report:
Naruto & Sasuke: They mastered tree climbing in three days. Now, they were competing in everything. Who could eat the most rice? Who could pee the furthest? Who could glare harder? Their bond—and rivalry—was cementing in the kiln of competition.
Sakura:
She guarded Tazuna at the bridge. She stared at Sasuke's photo. She complained about humidity.
In short: Useless.
Kenji:
Official Status: Patrolling the perimeter (sleeping in trees).
Unofficial Status: "Deep Security Checks" at the Tazuna Residence.
The house became my playground. With Tazuna at the bridge, Inari sulking by the ocean, and the other Genin in the woods, Tsunami and I had a schedule to keep.
I was a wolf in shota's clothing. And Tsunami? She was learning. Fast.
[Day 3: The Laundry Room]
The washing machine hummed rhythmically in the small utility room. The air was thick with the smell of detergent and steam.
Tsunami was bent over the basin, scrubbing a stain out of Inari's shirt.
"Kenji-kun?" she gasped as I slipped in behind her, activating [Silent Tread]. "Inari might come back..."
"Let him come," I whispered, lifting her skirt. "He needs to learn how loud the washing machine can get."
I didn't take her to the bedroom. I took her right there, bent over the basin. The vibration of the machine against her hips combined with my thrusts sent her into a frenzy.
"Oh god... Kenji... softer... they'll hear!"
"Let them listen to the spin cycle," I grunted, gripping her hips.
[Day 5: The Engawa (Porch) at Night]
The moon was high. Crickets chirped.
Tsunami sat on the wooden porch, cooling off. I sat next to her, sharing a plate of watermelon.
"It's risky out here," she murmured, her face flushed, looking at the darkness where Kakashi slept in the guest room.
"Risk makes the heart beat faster," I replied.
I slid my hand into her yukata. She bit into a slice of watermelon to stifle her moan as I fingered her right there, under the moonlight, while talking loudly about the weather just in case anyone woke up.
"The humidity is high tonight, Tsunami-san," I noted, feeling her soak my hand.
"Y-Yes..." she trembled, juice dripping down her chin. "Very... high..."
[Day 7: The Kitchen (Again)]
By the end of the week, she wasn't shy anymore. She was waiting for me.
I walked in to find her wearing nothing but an apron.
"Welcome back, Hero," she smiled, biting her lip.
"I have to say," I grinned, locking the door. "MILFs really are the best. You learn quicker than Sasuke learns jutsu."
We didn't talk much that afternoon. We just broke the kitchen table again.
[System Notification] [Shameless Points Updated: 20,500 SP] [Relationship Status: Tsunami (Devoted).]
*****
[The Bridge - Morning]
We arrived at the bridge. The mist was thick today, swirling around the massive stone pillars like a living shroud.
Something was wrong. The silence was too loud.
"Where are the workers?" Tazuna asked, looking around nervously, his hand trembling on his sake bottle.
We walked further into the white void.
Lying on the ground, in front of the unfinished arch, were the workers. Knocked out. Groaning. Some were nursing bumps on their heads; others were just sleeping peacefully as if they'd been drugged.
"Oh no!" Tazuna ran forward.
"Stay back!" Kakashi ordered, his voice sharp, arm barring the way.
The mist thickened. The temperature dropped ten degrees in a second.
"They're here," Sasuke said, his body tense. His Sharingan—still dormant but itching to wake up—twitched.
"I've been waiting, Kakashi," a gravelly voice echoed.
Zabuza Momochi emerged from the mist.
He looked better. His skin was healed. He had a new, murderous glint in his eye. And most importantly...
"He's wearing pants," I noted loudly, my voice echoing through the silence. "Disappointing. I preferred the 'Casual Friday' look."
Zabuza twitched. A vein popped on his forehead, throbbing dangerously.
"You..." Zabuza growled, pointing a jagged kunai at me. "The Brat. I'm going to skin you alive. Slowly."
Standing next to Zabuza was a masked figure. The Hunter-nin. Haku.
"And you brought your girlfriend," I added.
"He is my tool," Zabuza corrected instantly.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy. No judgment here."
Kakashi stepped forward, pulling up his headband to reveal the spinning Sharingan. "Zabuza. I see you're still kicking. I assume you want a rematch?"
"Rematch?" Zabuza laughed, but it sounded hollow. He didn't look at Kakashi.
He looked at me. Specifically, at the scroll pouch on my right leg.
"I want my sword back."
The battlefield went silent. Even the wind stopped blowing.
I blinked. "Excuse me?"
"My sword," Zabuza demanded, holding out his hand like a petulant child asking for a toy. "Kubikiribōchō. Give it back."
"You have got to be kidding me," I scoffed, crossing my arms. "You're the 'Demon of the Mist', a legendary assassin, and you're asking for your weapon back before the fight starts? What is this, a playground? Did you tell your mom I took your toy?"
"It is one of the Seven Swords of the Mist!" Zabuza roared, his composure cracking. "It is not a toy for a Genin! Hand it over, and I might kill you quickly!"
I looked at Kakashi. Kakashi looked at me.
"Kenji," Kakashi said, deadpan. "Don't give it to him."
"Obviously," I rolled my eyes. "I'm a pervert, Sensei, not an idiot."
I stepped forward. I reached into my pouch and pulled out a sealing scroll.
POOF.
The massive iron slab appeared in my hand. It was ridiculously heavy, but thanks to enforcing my body with chakra and [Body Cultivation], I could hold it. I stabbed it into the concrete of the bridge.
CRACK.
It shattered the stone, standing upright like a tombstone.
"You want it?" I grinned, leaning casually on the hilt. "Come and take it."
Zabuza's eyes burned with fury. "Haku."
"Yes, Zabuza-san," the masked figure stepped forward.
"Handle the copycat and the brats. I'm going to reclaim my property."
"Understood."
Haku began to spin. The air temperature plummeted.
"Secret Jutsu: Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals!"
Author's Note:Advance chapters, bonus comedy scenes, and less-filtered humor are available on Patreon.
👉 patreon.com/evilUchiha