The clearing was silent, save for the wind rustling the leaves and the gentle drip-drip-drip of blood from Kakashi's nose hitting the grass.
I stood over the fallen Elite Jonin, admiring my handiwork. The army of "cultural icons" dispelled in puffs of white smoke, leaving only me standing amidst the carnage of pure stimulation.
"Pathetic," I shook my head, looking down at the Copy Ninja. "He has the Sharingan, the legendary eye that can see through any Genjutsu... yet he couldn't see the beauty of the female form without short-circuiting his own brain. Weakness. Pure, biological weakness."
[DING!]
[Hidden Achievement Unlocked: The Panty-Dropper (Literally)] [Condition: Defeated a Jonin using only Visual Stimuli.] [Reward: 2000 SP.]
I ignored the reward for a moment—though my inner collector was screaming—and crouched down.
"System," I whispered. "[Steal]."
Yoink.
Space warped slightly. The two silver bells, which had been securely tied to Kakashi's waist, appeared instantly in my hand.
I stood up and jingled them. Ching-ching. The sound echoed in the silent training ground like a funeral bell for Kakashi's dignity.
"Hey!" I shouted to the forest, my voice amplified by a bit of chakra. "Show's over! The Big Bad Wolf is down! Come out, you cowards!"
A few yards away, the ground shifted. Sasuke's head popped out of the dirt like a deeply unhappy, brooding gopher. His face was dirty, and his eyes were wide, staring at Kakashi's unconscious, bleeding body.
"He... he defeated a Jonin," Sasuke muttered, his entire worldview cracking down the middle. "With... naked women?"
Is that true power? Sasuke's mind raced. Is that what Itachi has? Does he defeat his enemies with Harem Jutsus? No, that can't be... but the results speak for themselves.
I walked over to the log where Naruto was tied. He was staring at me with stars in his eyes.
"Kenji! That was awesome! You knocked him out! Did you see the one with the glasses? She looked like the librarian from the archives!"
"I saw, Naruto. I created her," I said, cutting his ropes with a kunai. "She represents 'Intellectual Lust'. You'll understand when you're older."
I walked over to Sasuke. He glared at me, humiliated by his position.
"Don't say a word," Sasuke hissed.
"I won't," I grinned. "But you look like a potted plant. A very angry cactus."
I grabbed him by the back of his collar. Channeling my Uzumaki-boosted strength, I yanked.
POP.
Sasuke flew out of the ground like a cork from a champagne bottle, landing on his feet and dusting himself off furiously.
Sakura woke up in the bushes, wiping drool from her mouth. She stumbled into the clearing, saw Kakashi face-down in a pool of blood, and immediately shrieked.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI! KENJI, YOU MURDERER! YOU KILLED HIM!"
"He's napping," I said, tossing the bells into the air and catching them. "Also, I won."
I walked to the memorial stone and sat down. The three of them gathered around, staring at the silver bells in my hand.
The atmosphere shifted instantly. The adrenaline faded, replaced by the crushing reality of the test rules.
"There are only two bells," Sakura pointed out, her voice trembling. Her stomach let out a loud, tragic growl.
"Yup," I said, leaning back. "Which means only two people pass. The other two... go back to the Academy."
Hearing that, the air grew heavy.
It was clear what this meant. I held the bells. I held the power.
Sakura bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes. I failed. I fainted immediately. I was useless. Kenji hates me. He's definitely not giving it to me.
Sasuke clenched his fists. I am an Uchiha. I cannot rely on charity. But if I go back to the Academy... my revenge is delayed by another year.
They both looked at Naruto. It was obvious. Kenji and Naruto were best friends. They were partners in crime. Kenji would take one bell and give the other to Naruto.
"Is this how it ends?" Sasuke muttered.
Naruto felt the heavy atmosphere too. He looked at Sasuke, who he considered his rival. He looked at Sakura, the girl he crushed on. He looked at the bells.
"Kenji..." Naruto started, his voice low. "If... if there's only two..."
"Hey," I interrupted, breaking the silence with a grin. "What's with this gloomy funeral atmosphere? We won. We beat the Jonin. It's a happy moment."
"Easy for you to say!" Sakura snapped, tears spilling over. "You have the bells! You passed! I have to go back to the Academy! Why would I be happy?!"
I put on a puzzled expression, tilting my head. "Why would you have to go back to the Academy? We're a four-man squad. We move together."
Sakura blinked. "Huh? Didn't you hear the rules? Only two pass! Or are you saying... you're giving the bell to me?"
"Really, Kenji?" Naruto asked, looking hurt. "You're gonna give it to Sakura-chan? Then what about me? I thought we were the Duo of Culture!"
Sasuke stared at me intently, analyzing my every move.
Even the fallen figure of Kakashi—who was definitely awake and peeking through one slit eye—was waiting. This is the real test, Kakashi thought. Will he choose his friend? His teammate? Or himself?
I looked at them. The tension was thick enough to cut with a kunai.
"You guys..." I sighed, shaking my head. "You're smart in the books, but you're dumb in the streets."
"What did you say?!" Sakura bristled.
"I said you're dumb."
I stood up. I tossed the two bells high into the air.
As they reached the apex of their arc, I drew a kunai in a blur of motion.
SHING. SHING.
Steel flashed in the sunlight.
The bells fell back down. I caught them.
But now, instead of two bells, I held four severed halves of silver metal.
I walked over to Sakura and dropped a piece in her hand. I walked to Sasuke and dropped a piece in his hand. I tossed a piece to Naruto. And I kept one for myself.
"See?" I smiled, twirling the kunai. "Now everyone has a bell. Besides... Kakashi-sensei never said the bells had to be in one piece, did he? He just said 'take the bells'."
Sakura stared at the broken metal. "But... is this allowed?"
"Since everyone has a bell, everyone passes. Simple math."
Suddenly, the air pressure dropped.
POOF.
A cloud of smoke erupted from the "corpse" on the ground.
Kakashi sat up. The blood was gone. The "unconscious" act dropped instantly. He looked at the broken bells, then at us. His eye was dark. Storm clouds seemed to gather overhead, blocking out the sun.
"You guys..." Kakashi's voice was low and dangerous. "Do you know what happens to those who break the rules? Those who destroy the objective?"
Sasuke and Sakura froze, terrified. The blood drained from their faces. They dropped their bell fragments.
We messed up, Sasuke thought. He's going to kill us.
Kakashi stood up, casting a long, menacing shadow over the group. He slowly formed a hand sign. Electricity crackled in the air.
"Ninja Art: Judgment of the..."
He paused. The scary aura vanished instantly. His eye curved into a closed-eye smile.
"Pass."
"Eh?" Naruto blinked, confused. "Pass?"
"Pass," Kakashi repeated cheerfully. "You all pass."
"But... the rules..." Sakura stammered.
"In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum, that's true," Kakashi quoted, looking at the stone. "But those who abandon their comrades... are worse than scum."
He walked over to me and placed a hand on my head.
"You didn't choose one over another. You realized the hidden objective. You decided on an out-of-the-box solution."
He leaned down, whispering so only I could hear.
"And Kenji... you exploited my weakness with terrifying efficiency."
He stood back up.
"Team 7 passes! Our first mission starts tomorrow!"
"YEAH!" Naruto cheered, jumping up and throwing his broken bell in the air. "I'm a ninja! Ninja! Ninja! Did you hear that, Sakura-chan?! We're a team!"
Sakura smiled, wiping her tears. "Yeah... we are."
Sasuke let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, clutching his bell fragment. A small smirk touched his lips.
I leaned back against the stone, crossing my arms.
[DING!]
[Mission Complete: The Bell Test] [Rank: S (Flawless Victory)] [Reward: 1000 SP + Title: "Team Carry"] [Bonus Reward: Kakashi Hatake's Respect (+20%)]
"Well," I muttered. "Tutorial complete. Now the real game begins."