[Later That Night: Kenji's Apartment]
Kenji sat cross-legged on his futon, trembling with anticipation.
[Current Balance: 1040 SP]
He had done it. He had acted like a creep, a scammer, and a terrorist to the plumbing system. He had finally crossed the 1000 point threshold.
"Time for the Gacha," Kenji whispered, rubbing his hands together. "Please, System. No more trash. Give me a bloodline. Give me the Sharingan. Give me a Zanpakuto. Give me... I don't know, a Gun?"
He opened the System Shop. He selected the [Lucky Spin].
[Cost: 1000 SP] [Confirm?]
"Confirm! Do it!"
The wheel appeared. It was flashy, covered in neon lights and obnoxious music that played directly into his brain. It spun rapidly, blurring into a rainbow of colors.
Round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows...
"Come on, Legendary Gold... Come on, Legendary Gold..."
The wheel began to slow down.
It passed [Common - White] (A bag of kunai). It passed [Rare - Blue] (Water Style: Water Wall). It passed [Epic - Purple] (Uzumaki Chakra Reserves - Fragment).
Kenji held his breath.
It slowed to a crawl. The needle was hovering over a slice of [Legendary - Gold].
"YES!" Kenji screamed. "YES! GOLD! DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF EYES!"
Click.
The wheel stopped.
It landed squarely on the Gold slice.
Fireworks exploded on the screen. Confetti rained down. An angelic choir sang.
[CONGRATULATIONS!] [You have obtained a LEGENDARY Item!]
Kenji stood up, his heart pounding. "I knew it! The system loves me! What is it? The Rinnegan? The Nine-Tails Chakra Mode?"
A glowing orb floated out of the screen. Kenji reached out with trembling hands to grasp his destiny.
A heavy, leather-bound manuscript materialized in his hands. It felt old, yet the paper was crisp and high-quality.
[Congratulations! You have obtained a LEGENDARY Item!]
[Item: Manuscript - "The Kunoichi's Forbidden Heat" (Manuscript)]
[Rank:] S-Rank (Cultural Hazard)
[Description:] A masterwork of erotic literature written by a dimensional traveler who found the local 'Icha Icha' series lacking in... texture. This manuscript contains detailed, visceral, and anatomically correct depictions of ninja arts utilized for procreation.
[Passive Effect:] Reader's Blood Pressure +20%.
Kenji stared at the book.
"A book?"
He felt the familiar rage bubbling up. "I spent a week humiliating myself for a book? System, are you—"
He stopped. He flipped open the cover. The scent of ink hit him. He read the first paragraph.
His eyes widened.
He read the second paragraph.
His breath hitched.
He flipped to a random page in the middle, looking for the "good stuff."
The text wasn't vague. It wasn't poetic nonsense about "clouds parting" or "flowers blooming." It was raw. It was visceral.
...The rogue shinobi couldn't hold back anymore. He pinned the kunoichi against the rough bark of the tree, his hand roughly tearing away the mesh armor that guarded her chest. Her nipples were already standing hard against the cool night air, plump and begging for attention. He growled low in his throat, a sound of pure, animalistic need.
"Please," she whimpered, her legs trembling, her wetness soaking through the fabric of her pants.
He didn't wait. He shoved her pants down, his thick dick sliding along the damp, heated curve of her entrance before he thrust forward. He penetrated her in one smooth, violent motion, burying himself to the hilt. She screamed, her nails digging into his back as he began to pound into her, claiming her right there in the enemy territory...
Kenji's eyes were glued to the page. His thirty-year-old soul roared in approval.
"Holy shit," he whispered. "This... this is literature."
He kept reading. He read about the Secret Hot Spring Technique. He read about the misuse of the Shadow Clone Jutsu.
And as he read, his body—or rather, his mind—reacted.
He lay back on the futon, the book propped up on his chest. His hand wandered south instinctively.
He started to stroke.
"Oh yeah... that's the stuff..."
He pumped his hand, his imagination running wild, visualizing the scene with 4K clarity. His breathing got heavy. He was close. He was right there on the edge of glory.
And then... nothing.
He pumped harder.
Nothing.
He sat up, panting, looking down at his six-year-old body.
"Right," Kenji said, his voice trembling with suppressed rage. "Puberty. I haven't hit puberty yet."
He couldn't ejaculate. He physically couldn't finish. He was a Ferrari engine inside a tricycle.
"AAAAARGH!"
Kenji threw the book across the room. It hit the wall with a heavy thud.
He grabbed his hair, screaming silently into the empty room. "SYSTEM! YOU SADISTIC BASTARD! You give me the ultimate material, and I have no equipment to use it! This is torture! This is worse than the Infinite Tsukuyomi!"
He tried again, just out of stubbornness. Three times he brought himself to the mental brink, only to be slapped in the face by his biological limitations.
It was the most frustrating night of his two lives.
*****
[30 Minutes Later]
Kenji stepped out of the bathroom, shivering. He had just taken the coldest shower possible. His skin was pale, his teeth chattering, but his "heat" had finally subsided.
He walked back into the main room, wrapped in a towel. He glared at the manuscript lying on the floor.
"What the fuck type of reward is this," he muttered, kicking the book. "I wanted strength. I wanted chakra. I got blue balls."
He sat down, wiping his wet hair. He looked at the book again.
"After a week of selling my dignity... this is what I get. A manual on how to breed, for a kid who can't even produce a drop."
He sighed, his anger slowly giving way to post-nut clarity (without the nut). He picked up the book and placed it on his desk.
Then, he rummaged through his school bag and pulled out another book.
It was a small, orange pocketbook. Icha Icha Paradise.
Kenji had bought it the day he got his allowance, despite the shopkeeper looking at him like he was a demon possessed. The guy had practically thrown the change at him just to get the "pervert kid" out of the store.
"Let's compare," Kenji muttered, opening Jiraiya's masterpiece.
He read a "steamy" scene.
...And then, the ninja looked into her eyes. The passion between them was like a storm. The moon hid behind the clouds, shy of their love. He held her hand, and the world melted away as they became one with the universe...
Kenji slammed the book shut.
"Trash," he declared. "Absolute garbage."
He looked at the two books side by side.
"Jiraiya is a fraud," Kenji sneered. "He writes like a virgin trying to explain sex to a monk. 'The moon hid behind the clouds'? What does that even mean? Did he put it in or not?!"
For a man from the 21st Century—a man who had unrestricted access to the internet, who had seen things on heavy-metal fan sites that would make a samurai commit seppuku—Icha Icha Paradise was painfully tame. It was romance machinery, not erotica.
But then... a thought struck him.
Kenji looked at The Kunoichi's Forbidden Heat. Then he looked at Icha Icha.
Icha Icha was a best-seller. It made Jiraiya filthy rich. It funded his "research" trips. The people of this world went crazy for this vague, flowery nonsense because they had nothing else.
They were starving for content. And Jiraiya was feeding them crackers.
Kenji slowly placed his hand on the Legendary Manuscript.
"This..." Kenji whispered, a slow, capitalist grin stretching across his face. "This isn't crackers. This is a five-course steak dinner seasoned with aphrodisiacs."
If he published this? If he unleashed real, descriptive, heavy-hitting adult literature onto the sheltered populace of Konoha?
"It won't just sell," Kenji chuckled, the sound echoing in the small room. "It will explode. It will shatter the market."
He picked up a pen and a blank scroll.
"Screw being a Ninja," Kenji laughed, his eyes gleaming with greed. "I'm going to be the Porn King of the Elemental Nations."
[DING!]
[Hidden Path Unlocked: The Lord of Culture] [You have realized the true potential of your reward.] [Objective: Publish your first volume.] [Reward: Financial Freedom (and probably a visit from the ANBU Vice Squad).]