"Who are you calling Azuma! Call me My Lord!" Azuma shouted at Illustrious sternly and majestically.
"My... My Lord? Yes, My Lord. I wonder what crime this Lowly citizen has committed." You want to play, right? I, Illustrious, will play along with you.
"I knew you'd say that. Advisor, bring forth the plaintiff's testimony." Azuma ordered the Advisor to bring the testimony.
The Advisor was Unicorn. She picked up a piece of paper filled with evidence of Illustrious's crimes, gave it to Azuma, and said, "My Lord, this is the plaintiff's testimony."
Looking at the words on the paper, Azuma read aloud. "The defendant, Illustrious, prepared such terrifying, hair-raising, and spine-chilling dishes that the plaintiffs Azuma, Ayanami, and Unicorn were poisoned and unconscious for a day and a night. The three have suffered great physical and mental harm."
"Ah! Words alone are no proof. Is there any ship-witness or physical evidence?" Illustrious argued.
"We are all ship-witnesses." Azuma, Ayanami, and Unicorn each raised their hands.
"So what? Is there any physical evidence?" Illustrious continued to argue.
"Constable Ayanami, take the dishes this commoner made and stuff them into her mouth. Let's see if that's physical evidence." Seeing Illustrious's refusal to confess, acting like a dead pig that doesn't fear boiling water, Azuma decided to give her a taste of something harsh.
"Yes, My Lord, yes!" After saying that, Ayanami prepared to get those terrifying, hair-raising, and spine-chilling dishes to feed to Illustrious.
"Don't! My Lord, I was wrong." Illustrious caved instantly. Those dishes were too terrifying.
"Oh? You were wrong? Where were you wrong?" Azuma said somewhat playfully.
"I was wrong everywhere. ┭┮﹏┭┮" Illustrious was almost in tears. In short, just don't feed me those terrifying dishes.
With a bang, Azuma picked up the steel block and slammed it onto the Admiral's desk. "Alright! Since the defendant has confessed, this official shall sentence you to... wait, what should I sentence you to?"
You're asking me? Who should I ask? Aren't you the 'Lord'? Illustrious was speechless.
Azuma, Ayanami, and Unicorn left their positions and walked to a corner, whispering about how to punish Illustrious.
Watching them discuss, Illustrious shook her head and thought helplessly, "It seems they hadn't even thought about how to punish me from the very beginning!"
But suddenly she became uneasy. How did they want to punish her? Surely they weren't still thinking of stuffing her with those terrifying, hair-raising, and spine-chilling dishes! Illustrious's legs trembled slightly, and her eyes darted around as she planned to slip away quietly.
Moving on tiptoe toward the door, Illustrious mentally chanted: You can't see me, you can't see me, you can't see me... Just as Illustrious touched the doorknob, a hand suddenly landed on her shoulder. Illustrious swallowed hard, and her neck turned slowly like a wound-up clockwork spring.
Illustrious's gaze moved slowly from the hand on her shoulder to its owner, finding it to be Azuma's delicate, white, and tender hand. Azuma said to Illustrious with a face full of smiles, "And where do you think you're going?"
Ayanami and Unicorn were also looking at her with beaming smiles.
Their smiles were as beautiful as blooming flowers, charming and world-shaking, appearing as holy and kind as angels. But in Illustrious's eyes, they were hideous and ugly, with bloody maws and green faces with fangs, appearing as evil and dark as demons from hell.
"Er! Ah, well, I... I, right, I suddenly have the urge to go, I'm planning to use the bathroom." Illustrious gave herself a mental thumbs-up for being so clever to come up with this excuse.
"Oh~ so that's how it is!" Azuma made a look of sudden realization and continued to smile at her, as if saying, 'Please continue your performance and see if I believe a single word.'
She saw Ayanami and Unicorn were still looking at her with those same beaming smiles.
Seeing their expressions of disbelief, Illustrious grew anxious and quickly said to them, "Really, I'm not lying to you, I'm almost about to burst."
After saying this, Illustrious even placed her hands between her legs, acting as if she were truly about to wet herself.
Azuma stopped her, saying, "Don't be in such a hurry to go to the bathroom. We've already discussed how to punish you."
"Ah! You've already discussed it! N-No! I really have to go, h-how about you discuss it some more, and after I'm done in the bathroom, you can tell me the punishment then." Illustrious thought that once she stepped out that door, she would use the bathroom break as a chance to sneak away.
"No need for more discussion! We've already reached a unanimous decision! And don't even think about escaping! We're all smart people here, so don't try any of those opportunistic, shifty little tricks! We've decided to punish you by..." Azuma saw right through Illustrious's plan to escape, sternly warning her while keeping her in suspense.
"Punish... punish me with what? Just finish the sentence!" Realizing her grand escape plan had been exposed, Illustrious resigned herself to her fate, but she wished they wouldn't keep a ship in suspense like this; leaving sentences unfinished was truly agonizing for a ship.
"The punishment is for you to go on a date with each of us once," Azuma said seriously, yet with a hint of bashfulness.
"Don't... don't make me eat those horrific dishes—ah! Wait, you said you want me to go on a date with each of you once?" Illustrious, who had been crouched down covering her head in fear, asked in disbelief as she carefully processed what Azuma had just said.
"What, is the punishment too light?" Azuma said to Illustrious, putting on a fierce expression.
Illustrious shook her head frantically, as if afraid they would change their minds, and said hurriedly, "I accept this punishment!"
Her Ship Girls truly were kind, pure, and stainless! Even their punishment was so gentle; they were just too cute! A date with everyone—how was this a punishment? It was practically a reward! In the past, she was the one calling others 'Normie scum' and telling them to drop dead, but now the tables had finally turned, and others would be calling her a Normie!
Illustrious was now in such a delightful mood that she wanted to dance and burst into song.
And she actually did it, singing while she danced. One moment she sang, "I am a tiny, tiny bird, wanting to fly but I can't fly high." The next moment, "My passion is like a fire, burning the entire desert." Then, "The great river flows to the east, wow, the stars in the sky join the Big Dipper, wow."
"Hey, Ayanami, the Admiral seems to have a problem with her head. Otherwise, why would she suddenly start singing and dancing there?" Azuma asked Ayanami in confusion after tearing off a fake mustache and throwing it away.
"Be more confident! Take out the'seems.' In my view, she definitely has a problem with her head, and it's quite serious, I say," Ayanami answered Azuma directly.
"Could it be that our punishment was too much for her, and the shock caused her brain to malfunction?" Unicorn said with some concern.
"Don't be ridiculous. This punishment is something she'd wake up smiling from in her dreams! Actually, I originally suggested punishing her by making her eat all those horrific dishes, but then you two said that was too cruel and that she is our Admiral after all, so it would be a bit much. Sigh! You're both too soft-hearted! Sooner or later, she'll devour you completely, I say," Ayanami sighed, frustrated by Azuma and Unicorn's lack of resolve.
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