Chapter 6
Alric woke up early, or very late from a certain perspective, the sun had just made it overhead. He yawned and shifted groggily. He knew switching to become diurnal would be rough on his sleep cycle. He skyed himself up. Today was going to be the day he fully walked in the sun. He stared at the bright forest beyond his cave. He knew that he had little to worry about now that he was completely green. That didn't change the sinking pit his stomach became as he stood at the edge. One more step and he would bath in the rays of light.
Don't be a pussy. It worked on the finger! There is absolutely no reason this won't work
He steeled his resolve and bravely stepped forward into possible death…Or that is what he will swear happened to anyone who asks him in the future. His green hand waved tenetivly in the open air like a child hesitantly testing the water temperature. Nothing happened. Alric swaggered forth as if his previous hesitation could be erased if he acted like nothing happened hard enough.
As he looked around the familiar forest seemed completely new. It was bright and vivid with color and life. He could feel his skin drinking in the sun's rays. It felt like the refreshing feeling of a cold drink on a hot day, and the relaxing touch of a sauna were wrapped up into a single sensation and poured on his exposed skin.
He had felt the slight warmth on his finger for the test, but this was so much more intense. It felt like superman bathing in the nourishing light of the yellow star for the first time. Alric was sure the energy his skin was granting him was comparatively minor. He imagined a slight buff icon, blessings of the sun.
For no good reason Alric felt like he needed to dramatically hit a Y pose and scream 'praise the sun!'
"ah…why not? I always did love that NPC."
With false gravitas Alric went ramrod straight, raised his hands high and to the sides, and bellowed "Praise the sun!" Birds from all around took to the sky in a panic as his voice boomed.
Feeling energized, he set off in high spirits. As he walked, he kept an eye out for any mushrooms or other interesting items to forage. His system rewarded the toddler-Esque mentality of sticking everything in his mouth. Deciding to explore west he went to climb a rocky outcrop he had spotted. If these woods were in the Trollshaws as he suspected going west would take him in the direction of Bree and the Shire.
He didn't plan on leaving the forest just yet but knew it was never too early to start planning. Reaching the base of the pile of rocks his eyes looked up it to try and plan his accent. He frowned as an unpleasant scent wafted into his nose. It smelled like a gym locker room and a neck-beard were blended and left to rot. It was so repugnant he stumbled to a stop in shock.
What in Middle-earth could possibly smell this bad?! The answer struck him far too late.
"Oi, Who' that?"
The voice was thick with sleep and confusion as it drifted out of the large, shaded crack in the rock formation in front of Alric. The hole must lead into a cave. A cave full of Trolls. Alric began to frantically think of excuses and apologies as he considered if he could outrun or fight his kin. As he panicked a second groggy voice grumbled forth.
"I don\t know."
"why all green? why isn\ t turnin' stone?"
"Oi! Yer! Why ya no turn stone?!"
"Yeah!"
Alric nearly facepalmed in exasperated relief as he realized that of course his kin were trapped inside during the day just as he had been. He opened his mouth to respond as he tried to peer into the darkness. He could make out vague movement in the dark, but it was too bright out for him to be able to see into the shade. Before he could try his hand at trollish diplomacy he was interrupted.
"Do yer reckon we can do it if we eat 'im?
"Only one way ta know"
"Oi! Runt! Get o'er here."
"Shame ta eat 'im. He's so 'andsom an' 'oung"
"Is 'andsom…" the second voice conceded.
"Could use a mate…bit small for a tum'le ain't he?"
"migh' break quick…bu' still fun."
Alric went from shocked to angry back to confused and then settled on horrified. He hadn't expected much from his kin as far as manners went. As such the casual mention of cannibalism wasn't too surprising but the rest stunned him. There was nothing feminine sounding about the voices he was hearing.
Did I stumble upon the rare female troll. The movies never showed one. They sound rather… masculine. I really wish I hadn't run into them.
"Stay 'ight there. We make 'ittle man feel real good 'en sundown."
Deciding he did not want to stay around and find out what a female Troll looked like or if they were going to decide try to eat him or…eat…him. Alric used the time tested and most successful strategy known to man. He turned around and pretended it hadn't happened.
Were there trolls bellowing for him to come back? Were they threatening or from their perspective offering to sleep with him rather violently? No, no that was just some wind, he must have imagined it.
On a completely random thought…I'm leaving the area. Today. In fact he was leaving right now!
Alric didn't know if the she-trolls could track him by scent or if they would bother to do so but felt no desire to stay so near them.
He thought back to his cave with a hint of regret. He felt rather sad to be leaving with so little fanfare, but he didn't really need to make any preparations. Now that he could roam during the day he was free to explore Middle-earth. Deciding to focus on the adventure ahead and not the hollering of lewd obscenities he could still hear behind him, Alric set forth on his next adventure.
Let the road trip begin.
Alric checked the direction the sun was moving again to make sure he was actually heading west.
Let's go see the home of the most OP race in Middle-earth, Hobbits. The Shire here I come! I'm not running away! I just decided to go see Hobbits.
Deciding to put his ridiculously good stamina to use he didn't pause his ground-eating pace as he barreled west for the rest of the day.
As the sun set Alric slowed down. Deciding he was safe at this distance from the greatest danger of his new life thus far. Alric spent some time foraging mushrooms and looking for good heavy prey to hunt. He had spent enough time eating plants! He wanted to eat something more substantial. His dark green skin blended even better in the darkening forest. His eyes naturally accustomed to a nocturnal life should have little difficulty finding him prey in the gloom.
Alric cursed like a sailor in his head. It had taken at least two hours to find anything. Finaly he found something. A massive boar squealed madly into the night once and then went silent.
Some time later Alric wiped his mouth with the back of one hand.
Ah, pork chops. A truly satisfying meal.
Deciding to try and find some shelter for the rest of the night he began to search his surroundings. He could sleep in the open, very little would bother a Troll…except other Trolls. Other Trolls who like himself would be using the cover of dark to hunt.
As he searched Alric spotted the faint glow of a massive fire through the trees. It must have been quite large to be seen from here.
Fire means people. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to convince anyone not to try and stab me with pointy objects…but I should be relatively safe to take a look. I'll see about trying to make first contact after that.
Sneaking closer slowly he tried to make as little noise as possible. He shouldn't have bothered. A familiar smell began to assault him.
Trolls.
He crept close enough to see the three massive Trolls moving in the firelight. These were clearly Stone Trolls; they stood half a head larger than him but far less impressively muscled. They were speaking and moving a bunch of sacks; but he couldn't make out the words over the distance and through the terrible accent they had. Something about them tickled his memory. He hadn't figured out why when his eyes caught a small figure moving closer to the fire. The being was tiny next to the Troll they seemed to be conversing with. It was a hobbit.
That's fuckin Bilbo! Which means the sacks are the Dwarfs!
Alric stared at the familiar little burglar as a smile began to creep onto his face.