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Translator: penny
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Magical Judgment Examination (1)
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"Fuck."
It was horrific.
Who could've guessed I'd have to come back to a place like this—a place that's more than enough for a lifetime after just once?
Yeah. The military physical examination center.
Now known as the Magical Judgment Examination center.
You'd think coming here twice would make it feel familiar, but this time around, it felt strangely unfamiliar.
Unlike the dry, bland scene etched in my memory, it was now packed with cute decorations and the latest high-tech equipment.
As if Magical Girls were really a thing in this world.
Well, that didn't make it hit home any more. It just felt like I'd been dragged to a mental hospital. I hadn't come here of my own will in the first place.
And to top it off, today was Sunday, which pissed me off even more.
While everyone else was resting, here I was, alone, dragged to this bullshit.
"Can you see this?"
The order of the physical exam was quite different from before, but the content itself was the same.
A few test questions thrown in, then jotting down results based on the answers.
"I can't see it."
"You can see it just fine. Both eyes at 1.2 vision."
"I said I can't see it."
"Yeah, yeah, everyone says that."
The only issue was that my answers weren't being reflected at all, which made it a bit questionable as a physical exam.
In reality, it was just a notification.
"Lying about Magical stuff won't help. We've already checked all your Magical body info with the Magical measuring device."
Why the fuck did you ask if you already knew, you bitch?
I swallowed the words rising in my throat and opened my mouth as calmly as possible.
"Then isn't this just a waste of time?"
"It's to check how cooperative the person undergoing the Magical exam is."
"What if they're not cooperative?"
"Well, then they'll face that much Magical disadvantage when they become a Magical Girl."
I got the gist.
No wonder they made me go through that weird sparkling door the moment I arrived. That must've been the Magical measuring device.
In other words, no point lying during the physical exam section.
They weren't doing a separate personality test, so they must judge based on the examiner's demeanor.
Impressive.
In a bad way.
It felt downright vicious. Did they really need to be this thorough? In that sense, things hadn't changed much from back then.
Still, I decided to smile for now.
"Ahaha."
Of course, that didn't mean I was okay with it.
Honestly, I wanted to have an otherworld-style conversation. The kind where we fight to the death until one side bends.
But.
"Then we'll move on to the next."
"Sure, go ahead."
This wasn't the time to snap.
"Ahahaha."
It was time to laugh and bide my time.
No matter how brutal and vicious the situation, there was always an escape route. I'd faced far more hopeless odds in the otherworld countless times.
Plus, my current conditions were way better than back then.
Back then, I was the Hero of the Moon, enemy of all.
Now, I was the majority shareholder of Top□ and No□pia.
Practically omnipotent. Even God, who holds the world, probably doesn't own stocks in Top□ and No□pia.
My position had never been better. It just wasn't ripe yet.
So, I wait until that moment.
Like bending my knee to gain momentum.
Like a cheetah smiling at the dogs charging ahead.
And.
Since I was smiling anyway, I decided to think happy thoughts.
That was how I'd survived without dying in the otherworld, after all.
The same would hold now. I believed I could overcome this with happy thoughts.
"Whoa, one day passes and the poison bird comes out!"
"Oh dear, at it again. Take your meds."
The nurse scolded, handing over a bottle sloshing with pink liquid.
"What's this medicine?"
"Magical contrast agent. Essential for the Magical exam, so drink it all, no leftovers."
It was a type I'd never seen, a bit off-putting, but I chugged it as instructed.
It had to be safe for the exam. No way they'd give me something harmful.
"Smack."
The taste was a bit horrific.
Well, medicine's always like that.
"Oh, this was past its Magical expiration date. Here's a fresh one."
"Hey, you fucking bitch."
You tell me after I downed it all, you asshole?
"Yeah, yeah, have this one instead."
In the end, I ended up drinking an extra bottle unintentionally. My stomach felt a bit queasy from the overdose.
"All done?"
"Yeah, what's next?"
The nurse pointed to a machine.
"Then step onto the footpad of that Magical machine over there. Line up with the footprints."
Judging by looks, it resembled a radiation imaging device.
In other words, very similar to an X-ray machine.
The only differences were the control panel and result screen, positioned a bit away in a separate spot instead of another room.
Everything else was identical to an X-ray machine—the setup, the fact that I couldn't see results right away.
"What's this? What're you gonna do?"
"Huh? You really don't know? Every Magical Administrative Welfare Center has one these days."
"I got dragged here before I ever went to one."
Well, I didn't add that last bit.
It wasn't entirely wrong, technically.
"Oh, really? What did you do before that you never even visited a center?"
Most of my answers were questions or "I don't know," but this one I could handle.
"I was a hero."
"You said you didn't know what this is, right? I'll explain quick."
Of course, that didn't mean she'd listen.
"No, I said I'm a hero."
"This is a Magical Aptitude Testing Machine."
"Fuck."
"Before becoming a real Magical Girl, it's a Magical device that checks how much magic power each person has and what form it takes."
The nurse showed zero reaction to my words, just spouting her script.
As if she hadn't heard a thing.
Or didn't want to.
And apparently, that indifference wasn't enough.
"Magic power is hard to detect accurately with normal methods, so we drink Magical contrast agent like this and take images."
Now the nurse was even staring at me intently, with that pitying look reserved for the mentally unwell.
It was making my heart heavy too, for real. Fuck.
"Got it now?"
The nurse, having finished her explanation, demanded a response.
"Wait, but I really am a her─"
"Do you get it?"
Of course, there was only one allowed answer.
No room for anything else.
"...Yeah, I get it."
"Good."
Anyway, I had a rough idea what it was.
The explanation was long-winded, but summing it up: a machine to check a Magical Girl's magic power.
But.
Did I really need to do this?
It's only for Magical Girls.
"But do I really need to do this?"
"Everyone has magic power, man or woman, so it'll show up on the measurement."
"No, that's not what I mean."
If magic power matches what I know, then yes, men have it too. In the otherworld, men used magic power for spells.
They'd tried to crush me with it.
Thinking back, still nauseating.
But considering my current state, there didn't seem much point in measuring.
I had nothing right now.
"I just don't see the need for me."
"Well, it's Magical protocol. Can't be helped. It's even a required step in Magical regular health checkups."
"I see. Alright, then."
Protocol, huh. Guess I had to.
Not that I wanted to.
Still, things had changed a lot.
I thought magic power only existed in that otherworld I was dragged to, but after 10 years, it's a concept here too.
Even measured with machines like this.
Called Magical Aptitude Testing Machines.
"One question."
"Sure, go ahead."
By now, I was starting to get a feel for this "Magical" thing.
"So, Magical basically covers everything related to Magical Girls?"
"No, Magical is Magical."
Not that either.
Now I was getting pissed.
"Then what the hell is this Magical crap, and why do you keep saying Magical this, Magical that?"
"Explaining what Magical is would itself be Magical."
"Fuck, seriously."
It was driving me insane.
What the hell even was Magical?
"Oh, right."
At that moment, the nurse glanced at me.
"Do you know what magic power is by any chance?"
What a weak question.
It'd be weirder if I didn't know.
"That weird clump around your heart, like a lump of something, right?"
"Huh?! Yeah, exactly!"
The nurse stared at me in shock, like she hadn't expected me to answer.
"How'd you know about magic power?"
No matter how advanced this world got, it was still miles behind the otherworld. Making a fuss over knowing about magic power?
Ah, but this was common knowledge there.
"I thought you were a retard for sure."
"Hey, you bitch."
The nurse wasn't shocked about magic power as otherworld common sense. She was shocked that I knew the common sense.
"Of course I know, I was a hero!"
"Yeah, yeah. Starting the Magical scan now. Stay still and don't move."
I was genuinely curious. You could fuck with bureaucrats over complaints, but how do you mess with a nurse?
"Sigh, alright."
I let out a couple sighs, then stood obediently. Good mood or bad, I couldn't skip the task at hand.
"Yes, stay like that."
I stood there blankly for a moment.
Then, pling, a sound rang out.
Probably meant results were in.
"Done?"
"Yes."
The nurse nodded slightly, eyes fixed on the screen, continuing.
"The results came out fine... Uh..."
But her voice trailed off. By the end, it had faded completely.
"Uh..."
The nurse said nothing more. She just stared blankly at the result screen.
With a bewildered expression.