My heart beat stopped for a second "you do" I stated. I blinked rapidly as the reality of her words hit me "of course you do. Who wouldn't hate me." I chuckled awkwardly.
A loud sigh escaped my lips as I blinked back tears that were ready to fall. "I'm sorry" I said softly "I truly am sorry" I sucked in a sharp breath "I'll...uh..." I licked my lips, my eyes staring at the ground in shame "I'll just go. I know you don't want to see me right now" a tear slipped down and I hastily wiped it with the back of my hand, my sleeve becoming wet with tears.
I stared at everywhere, anywhere but at modi. I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I was a murderer, a killer. Someone that was anything but good. I let out a shaky breath as I let my feet guide me away from her, away from whatever emotion I was feeling. The sound of my footsteps echoed through the silence like a sharp remainder of the sadness and pain my existence brings.
I heard the loud swishing of clothes behind me as modi turned to stare at me retreating form. "You're weak!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice booming through the hall breaking through the silence my heart felt.
My brows furrowed together "excuse me?" I wiped another stray tear.
"You're weak and pathetic" she stood straighter as if gathering more courage to say the words "you're pitiful" het lips curled at the last words like it had a bitter taste.
"I'm pathetic?" I squeaked. It came out more as a question, the opposite of what I had intended it to be.
"Yes. You are" her voice cut through the air like a sharp knife cutting through glass "the great xaaji that we have spent our entire live worshipping, the mighty one we have heard many stories about is strong. Resilient. Defiant. Powerful. She is the mighty xaaji, the creator of chaos and life. And you..." She paused, her eyes raking over my frame like a pesty rodent "you are none of those things. You are pathetic"
Her words hit too close to home and I felt every fibre of my being reduced to nothing. My father had called me nothing. My sister had called me pathetic and I had spent my entire life being reminded of everything that I am. What I do not need is another person to be my daily reminder that I am nothing.
"maybe I'm not her." I said sharply, my eyes wide "you mistook a scared and wounded girl that you found in the woods for your stupid xaaji" a sudden feeling began burning in my chest, something new and unknown, something foreign to even my body "you're right" I continued "i am not strong. I am not defiant, I am not powerful like you're mighty xaaji. But do you know what I am not" I stood up straighter, my shoulders squared "I am not weak" the words flowed out of my mouth with a sudden depth that sent chills through my veins. "I may not be your xaaji but I am a f*cking alpha's daughter. I have alpha blood coursing through my veins and that is enough to make me strong. I am sorry that I killed your friend modi but it was a honest accident. If I could go back I would, but I can't."
Her lashes lowered "you can go back. You just don't want to"
My eyes narrowed "what does that mean?"
"It means that you're selfish and you don't truly care about us."
I scoffed in disbelief "wh..."
"You're not the first one we have brought here and it will only be a matter of time before lylena realizes that you're not truly her reincarnation. You're a fake"
My mouth opened and closed like a fish that's out of breath. I was frozen in place "I'm not the first one?"
The top of her mouth curled up in satisfaction "and here you were thinking you were something special".
"But...but I wore the necklace. I saw Selene and everything"
Her brows furrowed together "that's bullshit"
"It's not bullshit!" I yelled in anger "I saw her with my own eyes."
She crinkled her nose "You're not xaaji. If you were truly her, that little stunt you were about to pull when you ran away wouldn't have crossed your mind"
I stiffened. My breathing stopped.
She knows. She knows. She fucking knows. Oh gosh she knows.
"You saw me" I recoiled in fear.
She stepped forward "I followed you and i saw what you almost did. The real xaaji would never think of something as disgraceful as what you were about to do"
I stumbled back as a tear slipped down my cheek.
"You're weak. You're pathetic. You're not xaaji!"
"Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" A blood curling scream tore through my lips as I lunged at her towering frame. All I saw was red as my fingers curled around her neck. " I am not weak!' I yelled in a voice that wasn't my own.
Her skin was beginning to loose colour as I cut off her air supply "you are weak" she choked out.
"I am not!" I screamed. From a distance, I could hear the shattering of glass but my eyes were focused on her "say it modi. Say it" I commanded, my lips curling around the words as I relished in the feeling of watching her life drift away.
She was loosing consciousness and if I didn't let go she would die. I would have another blood on my hands. Another innocent I would have killed. Again. It would happen again.
Yet.....I wanted it to. I was enjoying it. I wanted to kill her. I wanted her to die more than I wanted her to live
Bringer of chaos and destruction.
Fading words began echoing in my head as I tightened my hands around her neck. Just one snap, one snap and she would be gone.
Kill her xaaji
She defied you
She challenged you
She is nothing
Kill her!. Kill her!!. Kill her!!!!
I smiled wider as I saw her eyes begin to loose focus. She squirmed and struggled, her fingers biting into my skin. But I felt nothing, all I felt was the need to take her soul.
"Su je leèra" I whispered.
It was an ancient word. Unknown even to my ears, yet I understood it completely.
"Your soul is mine" I repeated in English as I felt every good thought begin to fade.