Kian didn't bother to close the door, and he heard all the rampage Xal was making out of devastation as he kept walking.
It's better this way.
It's okay.
At the reception counter, he informed them not to bother his friend, placed his business card to contact him when the damage was assessed, and said he would pay. He dipped his hands into his pockets the second he stepped outside.
The wind was cold.
Just like Xal.
He did not expect Xal to be such a stone-hearted jerk. Sure, he was grief-stricken, knowing that his sister had been murdered, but he didn't have to blame it on him.
Useless…
It's not like he wasn't trying. Not wanting to go to his house, he strolled aimlessly. The alarm on his phone buzzed, reminding him it was 7.00 PM. He called Grandpa Ollwern to remind him to take his medication, knowing he wouldn't take it even if he remembered, unless Kian reminded him.
The street was busier than before.
There were a lot of threads, too.
No wonder Xal passed out.
Useless…
The sun was setting in the distance, and vehicles were lining up.
Useless.
Useless.
A set of teenagers passed by him, screaming more than laughing.
Impatience hung in the air as drivers honked continuously, trying to escape the red light.
Means you are fucking useless.
Means you are fucking useless.
No. No. You are okay. You are okay.
Means you are fucking useless.
Still, nothing was louder than the voice in Kian's head repeating his words.
Means you are fucking useless.
The only thing he was focused on now was trying to save the people Khem was aiming to take, helping people, and searching to find him so he could at least figure out something to end this tragedy.
A pebble crunched under his shoe heel, throwing him off balance; he barely caught himself.
It's okay. You are fine.
Inhale.
Exhale.
He started walking again.
His family had already left him, forgetting even that he existed. He was the only one who could minimize the damage Khem was doing, and he was trying his best.
But he was never enough.
Why am I never enough? I need to find something, anything, to stop Khem.
Guilt sneaked its way in, making him vividly remember the faces of all the people he couldn't save. The voice in his head was fighting with his other voice, losing. He couldn't deny what Xal had said. For all these years, he really hadn't found anything related to Khem. Most of the time, he was too late.
I really am useless. He chuckled as the tightness in his chest made itself aware.
A man bumped into him as he halted abruptly and walked past, scolding him. He slapped his cheeks with both palms in an attempt to gain control of his thoughts. "Alright, quit moping, Kian. It's already over."
Now, what should I do about this? He asked himself, raising his wrist in front of his eyes, scanning the white thread shining around it. Nothing useful came to his mind. He pouted at the thought of the upcoming requirement to rummage through old books inside the house. An additional task to do when he gets back.
Only then did he remember that he had parked the car in the opposite direction from where he had walked for so long.
Letting out a whine, he turned and walked back.
He almost passed the café line, and the car park was in the corner.
A man spoke behind him, a familiar deep voice.
"I'll take the job."