I reached out and gently cupped her cheek. Her whole body stiffened.
"Xiao Yuhuang," I called her by name, without any honorifics. "This is my child. And yours."
Her eyes instantly reddened. She turned her face away sharply. "I know! Precisely because I know, I can't—"
Tears slid from the corners of her eyes, scalding hot, splashing onto the back of my hand.
This emperor who made decisive kills, this woman who imprisoned me, was crying like a helpless child.
"Yu Zhi…" she choked, pressing her forehead against my shoulder. "I'm afraid. I'm really afraid…"
I lifted my arms and gently wrapped them around her trembling shoulders.
This was the first time I had ever hugged her of my own accord.
She froze in my embrace, then tightened her arms, holding me firmly. Warm tears soaked through my clothes. Her sobs were suppressed and broken, like the final wail of a trapped beast.
"We'll be fine," I whispered into her ear. "I promise you. I'll be fine. The child will be fine too."
I did not know whether this promise could be fulfilled.
But at this moment, I wanted to give her a little hope.
After that, the days subtly changed.
Xiao Yuhuang no longer allowed me to ride alone. She always stayed by my side. The carriage was lined with thick cushions, which she personally tested before letting me sit. The pace of travel slowed greatly; each day we traveled only half a day before stopping to rest.
Qin Gugu rewrote the prescriptions for stabilizing the pregnancy and nourishing the body, weighing every dose again and again. When Nanxing learned that I was pregnant, his eyes widened, and then he said solemnly, "Young Master, don't be afraid. Nanxing will help take care of you and the little baby."
The child's words were innocent, yet they warmed my heart.
The nausea grew worse. I vomited every morning, had no appetite, and felt ill at the slightest hint of meat or grease. Xiao Yuhuang grew frantic, ordering people to search along the road for all kinds of light foods, yet there was still very little I could stomach.
That night, staying at a riverside inn, I vomited for half the night and could only force down a few sips of plain water. Xiao Yuhuang sat by the bed, looking at my pale face, and suddenly said,
"We're returning to the capital."
I froze. "What?"
"Back to the capital." She gripped my hand, her palm burning hot. "There are many imperial physicians in the palace, and all the medicines we need. The road through Jiangnan is long. If anything were to happen…"
"We're not going back." I cut her off. "If the imperial physicians in the capital had a solution, they wouldn't have declared back then that I wouldn't live past five years."
She fell silent.
"Since we're heading south to seek treatment," I said after catching my breath, "we should trust this path to the end."
The river wind howled outside the window. After a long silence, she pulled me into her arms, resting her chin against the top of my head. "All right. Everything as you wish."
Nanxing's words proved true.
That day, when we passed through a small town, women were selling pickled plums in the market. Nanxing's eyes lit up, and he dragged Chunyu over to buy a small jar.
"Young Master, try this," he offered it to me like a treasure. "When my father was pregnant with my younger sister, he loved eating this to stop nausea."
I hesitantly picked one up and put it in my mouth. The sour, sharp flavor spread across my tongue and actually pressed down the churning nausea.
"It works," I said in surprise.
Nanxing beamed, his eyes curved with delight. Xiao Yuhuang immediately ordered people to buy all of the woman's pickled plums and rewarded Nanxing with a pouch of silver seeds.
The child held the money pouch at a loss. I said softly, "Keep it. Save it for your father."
His eyes reddened, and he nodded hard.
With the plums helping, I was finally able to eat a little. Xiao Yuhuang's expression improved as well. At night, when she held me, she would gently stroke my lower abdomen, her movements cautious and reverent, as if touching a priceless treasure.
"Will the child look like you or like me?" she asked softly.
"We don't know yet."
"I hope like you." Her lips brushed my ear. "Eyes like yours. A temperament like yours too. Clean. Gentle."
My heart stirred. "Aren't you afraid he'd be too soft, unable to withstand this world?"
"With me here," she tightened her hold. "Who would dare let him suffer?"
The words were domineering, yet they gave me an inexplicable sense of security.
In the darkness, I quietly placed my hand over the back of hers. Her hand was larger than mine, her palm warm, fitting perfectly around my own.
"Xiao Yuhuang."
"Mm?"
"Give the child a name."
She was silent for a moment, then said softly, "If it's a girl, Anning. If it's a boy… Huaijin."
Anning. Huaijin.
Both were good names.
"Which do you like?" she asked.
I thought for a moment. "I like both."
She chuckled softly and kissed the top of my head. "Then we'll keep both. In the future… there will always be a use for them."
The future.
That word, spoken from her lips, carried a promise that made my heart tremble.
I closed my eyes in her embrace. At my lower abdomen, I seemed to feel an extremely faint warmth, like the very first sprout breaking through the soil in spring.
Perhaps this time, heaven would favor us.
Perhaps this time, we really could have a future.