Result wale din ghar hamesha normal lagta hai.
Same sofa, same wall clock, same folded newspaper table par.
Everything looked normal. But nothing really felt normal.
Jyoti Sharma laptop ke saamne baithi thi.
CLAT result website open thi, aur roll number ka blank box blink kar raha tha, almost like it was silently judging her.
Prove jo krna tha ki Jyoti Sharma ENGINEER nhi ADVOCATE banne ke lie bani hai
Papa peeche khade the.
"Roll number daalo," unhone kaha.
Unki voice calm thi, par heavy.
No support. No anger.
Just expectation.
Jyoti ne dheere se type kiya — 231947.
Enter. Screen loading. Please wait for few seconds. Those few seconds were harder to survive
Fan ghoom raha tha, par hawa pahunch nhi rahi thi.
Her heartbeat felt louder than everything else in the room.
Phir do words aaye — Not Qualified.
Itna chhota. Itna cold. Itna final.
Papa ne screen dekhi. Kuch seconds tak kuch nahi bola.
Phir chair peeche ki aur khade ho gaye.
"Issi liye keh raha tha. Sapne dekhna easy hota hai.Sach karna nhi"
Normal tone me.
Par line seedha heart pe lagi.
Jyoti ne screen band nahi kiya.
Na justify kiya. Na explain.
She just sat there.
Sometimes losing doesn't make you cry.
It just makes you quiet.
Next morning.
Breakfast table par sirf newspaper ki khar-khar thi.
Papa bina upar dekhe bole —
"Engineering ke forms khul gaye hain. Aaj bhar dena."
Statement.
Question nahi.
Without any question.Just a simple answer
"Ji."(noddes her head)
That single word felt strange in her mouth.
Jaise usne apne sapne ko politely side kar diya ho.
Raat ko Jyoti apne kamre me almirah ke neeche wali shelf se blue cover diary nikali.
Yeh wahi diary thi jahan wo woh sab likhti thi jo zubaan se kabhi nahi nikalta.Usme usne bachpan se ab tak bahut si cheeze likhi thi apne papa ke baare me lkin kabhi kisi ko wo chize batane ki himmat nhi kar pai….
Bed par baith kar usne pen uthaya.
Haath thoda sa kaanp raha tha.
Dear Papa,
Aaj result nahi gira… main giri hoon.
You said sapne dekhna easy hota hai pure karna nahi. Shayad aap sahi ho.
Aaj mujhe esa lga ki shyd me shi me apne sapne pure karne ke kaabil nhi hu
Lekin woh sapna hi tha jo mujhe lagta tha mera hai.
Mujhe aapse ladna nahi tha… bas saath chahiye tha.
— Jyoti
Ink thoda phail gaya.
Shayad aankh se paani gira tha.
Diary band ki.
Light off ki.
Fan ghoom raha tha.
Ghar bilkul waise hi tha jaise subah tha.
Bas andar kuch shift ho gaya tha….
Andar shift hua tha…
par awaaz kisi ne nahi suni.
Papa apne room me so gaye the.
Shayad unhe laga hoga baat khatam ho gayi.
Par Jyoti ko pata tha —
baat khatam nahi hui.
Bas usne bolna band kar diya.
Table par engineering ka form ab bhi pada tha.
Blank.
Jaise wait kar raha ho.
Jyoti ne door ke paas ruk kar ek baar peeche dekha.
Usne form ko nahi uthaya.
Na phada.
Na hi bhara.
Bas use wahi chhod diya.
Kabhi kabhi decision lene se pehle
insaan khud ko samajhne ka time leta hai.
Aur aaj pehli baar
Jyoti ne decide nahi kiya.
Usne sirf feel kiya.
Fan ghoom raha tha.
Clock tick kar rahi thi.
Ghar normal tha.
Par kal subah
shayad sab normal nahi rahega.