I didn't know how to protect her from that guy. I've been saying for months that he's an asshole, that he's sick, and I did nothing. Can you imagine? She'd even told me he'd already tried to assault her at her place.
What more do you think you could've done? You warned Cathy, you punched him, what else were you supposed to do?
I don't know, but I should've stayed on alert, known he wouldn't let it go that easily. How can I pretend to be her boyfriend if at any moment she can get attacked? How can I even look her in the eye again?
Marc, you need to talk about this with someone, this is serious. You can't protect Catherine 24/7, that's impossible. And look, last year on our birthday you were there and she still sprained her ankle, so yeah, it's impossible. You're her boyfriend, not her bodyguard.
But if you'd seen her, Peter… Her body is beautiful, she looks so fragile, and then you see all the blows he gave her. I don't know how she managed to resist that kind of violence.
Because she's incredibly strong and brave and resilient. Yeah, her body is marked, but she got away and he'll pay for it.
I'll do the same to him.
No, Marc, you won't do anything to him, because then you'd be the one going to jail, and that would hurt Catherine way more than all the blows she took.
…
Wait, someone's knocking! Come in quick, he's on his bed.
Marc! Open your eyes, it's me.
Cathy? What are you doing here?
Why are you soaking wet?
Peter forced me to take a cold shower.
I'll go get some towels, you shouldn't catch a cold on top of everything.
Cathy, I'm so sorry…
Marc, shhh, calm down. You don't have to be sorry. Otherwise I'd have to be sorry too.
Why??
For making you live through this, for not seeing or understanding your pain, for being selfish, for…
Stop, stop, stop. After what you've just been through, we all came second.
Yes, you all came second for me, while my parents, you, Melanie, Peter, you're suffering too, just differently, and nobody dares say it. Shame on you for suffering when I'm the one who got beaten, boo! But no, you're all suffering around me, feeling guilty, imagining everything you could have done or not done, it's torture you're putting yourselves through.
I wasn't up to it, I cracked when I saw you naked in your room.
So you did see me. I was hoping you hadn't.
I'm sorry, I heard you talking with your mom, I didn't think for a second you might be naked.
And it shocked you.
I felt like I'd been stabbed in the stomach.
Is it really that horrible?
No, no, that's not what I meant, I'm sorry.
I know, Marc, I know.
I'd never imagined seeing you naked for the first time like that. I'd thought about that moment often, but not like this. When I saw all the marks, I pictured him doing that to you, and I remembered your frozen, terrified face when you woke up at the hospital. How a body so beautiful and fragile at the same time could withstand that much violence. I felt nauseous, I had to leave.
I understand, don't worry. The important thing is that we talk about it and move forward.
But I don't dare touch you anymore. Holding you in my arms feels like torture now that I know where he hit you. I'm afraid of hurting you all the time.
Yeah, but it's not you who hurt me, it's him!
I didn't know how to protect you.
That's not true! You've been saying for months that this guy is dangerous, you did everything to keep me away from him, but I didn't listen. And me, you've seen what I look like, but you haven't seen him!
What do you mean?
Since I was little, I've had a big brother and two weird guys who followed me around all the time and roughhoused with me, so over all those years I did learn a thing or two that hurt pretty bad, you know. So yes, you protected me as best you could. If I managed to break out of his grip several times and get out of the building, it's because I did what all of you taught me over the years.
I kind of dream of seeing his face now.
I bit him, scratched him, probably burst an eardrum by screaming. Every time he loosened his grip a little, every time I could move even slightly, I hit him. So yeah, it's thanks to you all that I came out of it this well.
I love you so much. I was so scared when Melanie called. I'd never felt that before, it was awful. And your face when you woke up…
Shhh, shhh, I'm fine now, I'm here.
I can't get that terrified look out of my head. Every time I close my eyes, that's what I see. You couldn't see me, you were still there, and seeing that fear in your eyes froze me.
It's going to be okay now, it's over. But I think we'll need professional help to get through this trauma, so nothing from this stays between us. And above all, you need to go back to class or you'll get kicked out, and then I'd feel way too guilty.
I'll go back tomorrow, I promise. I just want to stay with you today a little longer, please.
**********
Two months later
Marc, can I come stay over at your place this weekend?
Do you want to?
I do, yes. I'd really like to be able to sleep in your arms again. But do you want that?
Yeah… I think I really want that too. Fewer nightmares?
Fewer. Especially since his conviction, I feel relieved. That's why we need to get back to our life… like before… otherwise he'll have won, despite everything, by getting to us.
You're right. To mark the occasion, I'll do the cooking.
Oops…
**************
So, do you regret your inappropriate comments about my cooking?
Considering you're threatening me with a wooden spoon, yes, I regret it, I admit it.
I love it when you're spontaneous like that.
No, seriously, you surprised me. Who helped you? Your mother?
No, a friend.
A friend? And in exchange for what?
Nothing. I slept with her some time ago, so to thank me, she offered to help.
…To… thank you…
And yes, my dear, women thank me for letting them enjoy this Apollo-like body! And now it's all yours, so there's a lot of crying around campus.
Very funny… really very funny… my heart almost stopped, you know, I could have hit you.
Oh wow, yes, I know what I'm risking now that I've seen the damage my unleashed lioness can do, I'm going to behave.
You'd better, sir!!
Kiss me, my lioness!
I love spending moments like this with you. Shall we go to bed now?
…
Marc, everything is fine… at least for me… the marks are gone, I don't hurt anymore.
Yes, I know, but…
But what?
I realize that I'm still afraid of touching you and hurting you.
Okay. Then put down that wooden spoon. Now put your hands on my hips, please.
What?
Do what I'm telling you, don't ask questions. Can you take me in your arms?
That, yes.
Okay, so now just put your hands on my hips. Don't tremble like that.
I'm afraid of hurting you.
You can't hurt me, there's nothing anymore, baby, the bruises are in your head, not on my body anymore.
…
Now put your hands under my T-shirt.
Pfff…
Does it hurt?
It doesn't seem like it, no.
Do you feel something?
Just the softness of your skin… pfff…
Your heart is racing. Come on, let's lie down.
…
Would you look now at where your hands are?
…
Marc, look at my body, please. Do you still see any marks?
No, everything has disappeared.
And I don't hurt anymore, I promise, I want to move on now, I want you to feel comfortable with my body, you're not going to hurt me.
Okay. Can I… take off your T-shirt?
If I can do the same with yours, yes.
Can I hold you against me now?
Oh, yes, then. Marc, look at me. What's happening?
Nothing, it's emotion, that's all. I want to absorb this new image of you, remember your scent, your softness, learn all your curves by heart to definitively erase that horrible image. Feeling your skin against mine is pure happiness, wow!
Marc.
Yes?
I want to go further.