CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I sat there, paralyzed. That hollow feeling that usually follows an explosion of rage had taken hold of me. But it was too late—what use was regret and shame now?
No... sitting here is useless. I shouldn't lose myself so easily over one ugly act and wander into a daze. I stood up firmly and went to the washroom. I splashed water on my face repeatedly until I regained my senses. I forced a smile onto my lips and headed toward the kitchen.
The moment I entered, I was met with strange looks from Sophia and Masih, but I ignored them. The dishes had been brought back, and my mother was busy clearing them.
"Sophia, let's wash the dishes first, then we can all eat together, alright?"
Sophia stared at me, stunned. I didn't blame her; she probably wondered why, instead of crying and hiding, I was standing there speaking so nonchalantly.
"Didn't you hear me?"
"Oh... yes, right."
I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. I lathered the dishes with soap, and Sophia rinsed them. During this, my father entered the kitchen and greeted us warmly.
"Hello, Father. Welcome."
"Bless you, my hardworking daughter."
Masih said mockingly, "Uncle, where exactly is this girl 'hardworking'? Oh, please!"
"None of your business, polar bear. Stay in your own territory."
"See? See the tongue on this 'hardworking' girl!?"
My father and Sophia laughed, but my mother, as usual, looked at me with regret. Her silent gaze said: A girl should be dignified, Yas. Don't make yourself look cheap and like a clown. But I avoided her eyes and continued joking with the others.
Finally, the dishes were done, and we ate together. Now came the time for tea, according to our Afghan tradition.
"Sophia, what are you doing?"
"Taking tea for the Khan Sahib."
"Ryan?" I asked.
Once again, my mother's protesting voice reached me. "Yas, for God's sake, don't call him by his name like that! how many times must I remind you?"
"Oh, Mother, fine. It's not a crime. Sophia, I'll take it. You enjoy your tea."
"Oh, but—"
"Sophia!" I insisted.
Sophia shrugged. "Fine by me. Better yet, you take it yourself!"
I picked up the tea tray and headed toward Ryan's room. Truthfully, a wave of intense embarrassment washed over me. I didn't know with what eyes I could look into his.
As I approached the stairs, the sound of an argument drifted from the Big Khan's room. I hesitated, curiosity getting the better of me.
"Father, why don't you understand?" Ryan's voice was sharp. "What was the need to humiliate her like that in front of others?"
After a pause, the Big Khan's terrifying voice rose. "Ryan, do not speak to me like that without a justified reason. Is your 'grave concern' that girl? Is that it?"
"Yes! My concern is Yas. Despite knowing what a high place she holds for me, you do not cease to humiliate her in front of everyone."
"I thought your childhood ignorance had ended..."
"If that was ignorance, then know that I am still the same, Father."
"You know very well that Israr and Isar would never dare speak to me this way. Ryan, my dear, do not abuse your position."
"I apologize, Father, but humiliating Yas is unbearable for me. I have never stood up to you. I have never dared to oppose you on any matter, and I still don't. But this is not in my control. If I hold even a shred of value to you, you will not put me in this difficult position again."
"What does she have, that girl?"
I was paralyzed with shock. It was unbelievable. Ryan was standing up to his father... and for me. That was enough for me to hear. With a joy that words cannot describe, I walked toward Ryan's room.
Truly, my respect and love for Ryan reached a new peak. He had been more of a brother to me than my own. How could I not love him?
I placed the tray on the table and sat on the bed to wait for him. I had to apologize. A moment later, the door flew open and Ryan walked in, his brows tightly knit. He looked like he'd had a bitter talk with his father.
He didn't seem to notice me and slammed the door shut. The thunderous sound made me jump slightly, but I didn't show it. Only after punishing the innocent door did he notice me. Shock and a question mark were written across his eyes.
I cleared my throat and whispered, "Hello."
Ryan didn't answer. He walked with short steps toward the bed and sat beside me.
"I said hello, Sir!"
He seemed to snap out of it. "Hello..."
"I brought you tea."
"Thanks."
Ryan stared at the floor, avoiding my gaze. He looked like he was in a deep internal conflict. I had never seen him this quiet. Was this silence because of my poisonous words earlier?
"Are you mad at me?" I asked tentatively.
Ryan looked up and simply shook his head: No.
"Did a cat get your tongue? I... look, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I was angry then and didn't realize what I was saying. Can we make up?"
"No."
I was taken aback by his bluntness. "Meaning?"
"Go."
"I'm not going. I mean, I'm not leaving until we make up."
"Didn't you want us to die?" he asked, his voice low. "Why does it matter to you now to make up with this 'loathsome aristocrat,' huh?"
I put on my most innocent face. "I swear I was just angry, Ryan. I told you I was mad. Otherwise, you aren't an 'aristocrat' to me, you're Naneh Jan!"
"Nope. Didn't work. Try again."
"It didn't?"
"Nope."
"Fine! I'll try again..." I narrowed my eyes as much as possible and put on a mock-angry face. "Hey! Either you make up with me or I'll pull your hair out with these hands! You have no other choice. Pick one."
"Just you try touching my hair."
"So that didn't work either?"
"No."
I looked into his eyes despairingly and fired my final arrow. "Fine. You aren't my Naneh Jan anymore. I'm going to go be friends with Isar. Goodbye!"
I pretended to get up to leave. I thought, he must think I'm so manipulative.
I took one step... then a second... then a third... fourth...
Surely this handsome man isn't going to call me back...
I stopped and turned around, raising my eyebrows. "You aren't going to stop me? I'm going. I'm really going."
"Close the door on your way out."
That was it. I bolted across the room and lunged at him. With one move, he was knocked back onto the bed, and I grabbed both his ears firmly.
"Yas!!!"
"Death to Yas! You're the one who fought with me, and now I'm the one who has to make up!? How dare you!?"
"Ow! You're pulling them off!"
"Good! Say 'we made up.' Now!"
"Hahaha! Alright... alright, we made up! Let go!"
I let go and sat on the bed, glaring at him.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he laughed, rubbing his ears. "My darling, you nearly tore my ears off and now you're the one acting offended?"
"Now I'm not making up! When I said I was leaving, why didn't you stop me?"
Ryan laughed and gently pinched my cheek. "Oh, my Lady is upset. I'll buy your tantrums with both my eyes."
I twisted my face, mocking his tone. "Oh, my Lady is upset... death to you and your buying! First you hurt me, then you say you're a buyer. I'm not selling... I mean, I am selling, but not to you!"
"You don't torment me any less, my dear," he said softly. "Besides, no one but me can handle your tantrums."
"Oh? Then watch me sell them."
"To whom?" His voice suddenly lost all trace of a joke.
"Do you have chocolate?"
"To whom???"
Until I answered that question, he clearly wasn't going to let it go. "To my father! Yes, to my father. I don't know a better buyer than him. Now, do you have chocolate?"
Ryan's lips curved into a smile again. He adjusted my scarf over my hair tenderly. "Aha, I see. A good choice. Besides, I gave you all those sweets just a few days ago. Did you eat them all?"
"Every single one!"
"No more sweets then. Your teeth will rot and your blood sugar will go up."
"Oh, Mr. Doctor! Does my blood sugar and my teeth have anything to do with you?"
"Yas, don't talk. I'm still not fully over my anger."
"Ryan, let me tell you, if you get mad again, I'll leave and won't look back. Are you a fourteen-year-old girl or what?"
"Am I not worth the trouble?"
"It's your job! Now it's late and I'm going to sleep. Whether you like it or not, you are my Naneh Jan. Just mine..."
"Was I ever anyone else's?"
Again, I was the one who fell silent. I swear, I can never interpret Ryan's words or his gaze. What is the problem? If he sees me as a friend, why does he act so far beyond a friend? No... I don't want to become dependent on these irrational actions of his.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight, my dear."
Ah, being "Ryan's dear"... what a feeling. I am filled with joy. I don't feel like a stranger to these words anymore; I've grown used to them. Do you know what a habit is? It's the thing whose absence sends you into a coma.
The echo of his laughter ended my daydreaming.
I walked down the stairs with my head down. Mentally, I wasn't even there. I was lost in my own world when I felt the firm, fast footsteps of someone approaching.
Israr was moving toward the stairs, looking unwell. His head was down, and he didn't seem to notice me. I haven't heard from Israr in a few days. Why did he look so agitated? Was it something to do with that party and that girl?
I don't know. Maybe the secret will be revealed later. For now, I desperately need sleep; my nervous system isn't functioning right.
Yawning, I went to the basement. I expected total darkness, but my father was leaning against a pillow with a cup of tea, lost in deep thought.
"Father, you aren't asleep?"
"No. I was waiting for you. Come sit."
I sat beside him tentatively. "Do you still want to leave?" he asked suddenly.
I was startled. Why the sudden question? "Not for now. Why do you ask, Father?"
My father said brokenly, "I feel I haven't been a good father to you. I wish I had listened to your mother and settled in Nuristan..."
I couldn't tell if he had seen the Big Khan's behavior toward me or if it was something deeper. "Father, please. You are the hero of my life. You were and are the best. Don't talk about yourself like that." I kissed his hands and pressed them to my eyes. He kissed my hair in return.
"I don't know what good deed I did for God to give me you..."
"Should I tell Tahmina?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"She has her own place, you mischievous girl."
"Hahaha! Ryan calls me that too, even though I'm the most helpless creature on earth, right?"
"Is Ryan 'helpless'?" My father asked.
"You don't know him, Father! He has several personalities. Sometimes I'm afraid to go against his will because he loses his temper."
"Be gentle with him," my father said. "If I know anything about people, especially Ryan, I know he is the safest person in the world for you. You can be certain of that."
"I feel the same way. I feel more comfortable with him than anyone after you. Like he's my blood brother. I'm not even that comfortable with Osman."
"I know, I know. But he is not your brother, my daughter. Remember that. No one can be a brother unless they are born from the same mother."
"What's the difference, Father? It's not always about blood. Anyway, if I have your permission, I want to sleep."
"Go ahead, my daughter. Sleep well."
"Goodnight, Father."
I went to bed with a wide smile and quickly fell into a deep sleep.
Karim's son has come several times to ask for my hand in marriage, and they plan to bother us again. I don't know why they don't understand; they keep insisting as if I'm the last girl on earth.
Besides that, a new guest arrives at the palace today. To be honest, I don't have a good feeling about this girl. I think she'll be worse than the Afghan aristocrats. Yes, Miss Anna arrives today. Israr and Isar have gone to the airport to welcome her. Naneh Jan (Ryan) couldn't go because he's busy with urgent patients. Not a bad thing, right?
"Yas! Quick, they're here! Let's go see this French girl!" Sophia shouted.
"Sophia dear, I'm sure she has two legs like everyone else. No need for such excitement."
"They say she's very beautiful," Sophia whispered. "Exactly like Ryan. Maybe they'd make a good match..."...
END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN