In front of him, I feel like myself, yet not quite like myself.
From Su Zai Zai's Diary
Su Zai Zai quickly took a few steps back, twisted open the bottle of mineral water, and took a few sips.
To quench her thirst first.
If she couldn't control herself later and ended up swallowing in front of that beautiful person...
That would be too embarrassing.
Su Zai Zai tightly screwed the cap back on and looked at her reflection in the black screen of her phone. Then she pulled out a tissue from her bag and wiped the sweat from her forehead, curving her lips into a smile.
Hmm, good.
Her smile was very natural and beautiful.
Su Zai Zai put her phone in her pocket, took a deep breath, and suppressed all her nervousness.
She walked over, tilted her head, and greeted him, "Hey, Zhang Lu Rang."
Hearing the voice, Zhang Lu Rang looked over, his eyes showing no surprise, as calm as a lake at night, with not even the slightest ripple.
He nodded slightly, as a response to her.
Su Zai Zai instinctively tightened her grip on the mineral water bottle in her hand, blinked, and asked curiously, "Do you live around here? I've never seen you at this bus stop before."
"Yeah."
"Which neighborhood do you live in?"
This was a residential area with many neighborhoods around, so Su Zai Zai really couldn't guess which one he lived in.
Upon hearing this, Zhang Lu Rang glanced at her and vaguely replied, "Just nearby."
That look...
It was as if he was on guard against some dangerous animal.
She must have seen it wrong.
Su Zai Zai didn't dwell on it any longer. She suddenly remembered what happened on WeChat yesterday and carefully chose her words, coming up with a more subtle way to ask, "Do you have WeChat?"
"..." She saw Zhang Lu Rang hesitate for a moment, touching theback of his neck, and then he replied, "No."
He must have thought lying was bad, but compared to adding her on WeChat, Zhang Lu Rang preferred to lie.
Heh.
She should have just asked him why he didn't accept her friend request. What should she do now? If she exposed his lie, she'd be afraid he'd feel embarrassed.
She never knew she was such a self-sacrificing person.
Su Zai Zai forced a smile. "Not planning to get one?"
"No."
"Oh."
Awkward silence.
Su Zai Zai thought randomly that Zhang Lu Rang must be the slow-to-warm-up type. If she took a step forward, he would probably take two steps back, so... for the sake of her future, she'd take a step back first.
She cleared her throat and casually made something up, "You could get one. There's a public account on WeChat that lets you check the real-time location of every bus route. That way, you can time your departure from home and won't have to wait outside for so long."
Zhang Lu Rang's eyes flashed with a bit of embarrassment, seemingly not having considered this reason. He averted his gaze and said softly, "Okay, thanks."
"No problem." Su Zai Zai waved her hand.
Both of them fell silent.
Su Zai Zai slung her backpack in front of her and took out her phone to check the real-time location of Bus 71 again-about ten stops away.
She secretly hoped the bus would be delayed, or better yet, stuck in traffic, feeling a bit pleased with herself.
The atmosphere was a bit awkward. After some thought, she brought up another topic, "By the way, isn't the school sports day next Thursday? Are you participating in any events?"
"Yeah."
"What about the School Sports Night? Are you performing?"
"...Yeah."
This surprised Su Zai Zai. She was stunned for a moment and asked in disbelief, "Huh? You're performing? What are you performing?"
This time, Zhang Lu Rang didn't answer.
Su Zai Zai looked up at him, instantly amused, "What's with thatlook? Like I'm trying to steal your class's idea."
Zhang Lu Rang neither looked at her nor explained.
"Hmph, and don't think I'm going to tell you either. Our class's program is amazing-the performers are both beautiful and classy. I'm almost falling for her myself."
Seeing no reaction from him, Su Zai Zai continued, "I've heard she's beautiful, academically excellent, comes from a good family, and has a cheerful personality. She's known as the number one goddess of Z High School."
Zhang Lu Rang was at a loss for words, finally saying after a long pause, "...You're not talking about yourself, are you?"
If she really was, then he truly had never seen anyone so shameless.
Su Zai Zai feigned surprise, her eyes widening slightly, "You guessed right, it's me."
"Didn't expect I had so many good qualities in your eyes."
Zhang Lu Rang's brow twitched, and unable to bear it, he put the other earphone in as well.
Seeing him put on the earphones, Su Zai Zai cautiously checked hisexpression. He didn't seem angry...
Seeing this, she let out a sigh of relief, lowered her eyelids, and hid her emotions behind them.
They didn't talk anymore.
When Bus 71 arrived, they both walked over at the same time. Su Zai Zai stood behind Zhang Lu Rang, holding her student bus card.
When she swiped her card, she suddenly noticed that he wasn't using a student bus card but was paying with cash.
Zhang Lu Rang removed one of his earphones and stood near the rear door of the bus, holding onto the overhead strap with one hand. Su Zai Zai walked over to stand beside him and also grabbed the strap overhead.
After some thought, Su Zai Zai asked him, "Have you eaten dinner?"
"No."
"Then let's go eat at Maoye Plaza!"
Maoye Plaza was the stop they would be getting off at soon. After getting off, it would take another half hour to reach the school.
"No, I'll eat at the school cafeteria."
"How did you know I actually wanted to eat at the school cafeteria more?" She raised her eyebrows, half-joking.
Zhang Lu Rang fell silent again, not responding.
Su Zai Zai's heart skipped a beat, and just as she was about to say something to break the awkwardness, the bus suddenly braked sharply. She lost her balance and instinctively grabbed onto something nearby.
And beside her, the only thing was Zhang Lu Rang...d him.
Su Zai Zai's face instantly turned bright red. She quickly let go of his arm, and before the bus had even come to a complete stop, she was already wobbling, nearly tripping. She didn't have the time to worry about that, anxiously apologizing, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I just couldn't keep my balance."
Zhang Lu Rang opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, she hurriedly added, "And I was just joking earlier. I didn't really plan on eating at the cafeteria."
The bus came to a stop, and a few people got off. Su Zai Zai lowered her head and walked to the back, finding a seat in the rear.
Zhang Lu Rang glanced in her direction.
Today, she had tied up all her usual loose hair, looking much fresher than usual. Her small, palm-sized face was made even smaller by her bangs. Her eyes were dull, and the corners of her mouth drooped down.
The bus started moving again.
At the same time, Zhang Lu Rang withdrew his gaze.
In the back, Su Zai Zai felt increasingly anxious. She rubbed her fingers together and turned to look out the window, suddenly feeling an urge to cry.
She held back but still couldn't bring herself to cry.
She didn't dare to look at Zhang Lu Rang again, so she gloomily took out her phone to play a game.
When the game screen loaded, her phone briefly went black. In that moment, she saw her own reflection on the screen, particularly her lips.
Her mood worsened.
She really wanted to give herself a good slap.
After getting off the bus, Su Zai Zai immediately headed to the snack street next to Maoye Plaza, randomly picking a place to have dinner, then got up and returned to school.
Actually, she didn't want to eat out, but if she and Zhang Lu Rang walked together and someone saw them, he probably wouldn't be happy about it.
On the way, Su Zai Zai kept thinking about one thing.
What kind of girl does Zhang Lu Rang actually like?
He's so quiet, shouldn't he find someone talkative to balancethings out?
But it seems like he prefers peace and quiet, so he might find her pretty annoying.
Ahhh, this is so strange. Why can't she stop talking when she's around him? She isn't usually so forward with people, but she just can't control herself!
It feels like everything she does in front of him is wrong.
Unable to come to any conclusion, Su Zai Zai began to think back: What expression did Zhang Lu Rang have on his face when she accidentally touched him on the bus today?
It wasn't until she reached the school gate that she remembered.
She was too nervous at the time, she didn't even dare to look at him.
But Su Zai Zai recalled that moment on the sports field when she grabbed Zhang Lu Rang's wrist-his expression had shown impatience and... annoyance.
He's too difficult to approach.
In Zhang Lu Rang's eyes, her looks probably don't even register.
So, she'll have to rely on her personality to win him over.
...If she even has one.
When Su Zai Zai arrived at the classroom, it wasn't even 5 o'cloc yet, but there were already over ten students inside. Some were chatting in groups, while the rest were studying.
She rested for a moment before quickly picking up her physics workbook, painfully starting to do her homework.
Halfway through, Jiang Jia walked in through the front door, sat down at her seat, and excitedly leaned over to Su Zai Zai, asking, "Hey, Zai Zai, did you add him?"
Su Zai Zai stared at her physics problem, her head about to explode. Hearing this question made it even worse. Her pen paused, her expression unreadable.
She sighed and casually replied, "Let me finish this first."
Seeing that she was working on physics, Jiang Jia sympathetically patted her on the shoulder and didn't bother her any further, quietly taking out her phone to play.
Suddenly, Jiang Jia noticed Su Zai Zai's WeChat nickname. "Huh? Why did you change your WeChat name?"
Jiang Jia hadn't set a remark for Su Zai Zai, so she noticed the nickname change right away.
Su Zai Zai let out an "Ah," without explaining.
"What's gotten into you? The old 'Little Fairy' name was so good, why change it to 'Su Dumbass'?"
"...I just changed it to 'SZZ'."
"Which is basically 'Su Dumbass', right?"
"Shut up."
After this interruption, Su Zai Zai lost all motivation to do her homework.
She thought for a moment, then mentioned what had happened today to Jiang Jia and asked, "Do you think he doesn't dislike me? After all, he does respond when I talk to him..."
"I don't really know." Jiang Jia thought for a moment. "But I heard from a classmate that Zhang Lu Rang is just like that. Even though he seems cold and distant, he usually responds when someone talks to him. He won't make anyone feel awkward."
"Oh." Su Zai Zai felt a bit disappointed.
"Zhou Xu Yin is so lively, but he's the type who absolutely won't talk to you if he doesn't want to. So, by comparison, the girls in their class actually prefer Zhang Lu Rang."
Thinking about it that way, Zhang Lu Rang is indeed pretty charming, Su Zai Zai thought, feeling a bit tired.
If she were to win him over, she'd have to constantly be on guard.
The more she thought about it, the more Su Zai Zai's mood sank.
"I'm really afraid he doesn't like me."
Jiang Jia hesitated, then comforted her, "He probably doesn't."
"I'm afraid I'm doing things wrong, afraid I'm too enthusiastic, or that he'll think I'm too cold." Su Zai Zai rubbed her eyes, unable to hear anything, just muttering to herself, "But what can I do? I've never chased anyone before."
Su Zai Zai had no experience. So she couldn't find the right balance.
All she had for Zhang Lu Rang was overwhelming enthusiasm.
When she saw him, all her enthusiasm found an outlet.
Su Zai Zai couldn't control it.
She showed her enthusiasm for him, unintentionally revealing her feelings.
Su Zai Zai couldn't control it at all.