Konoha Hotel.
Sunlight streamed into the room, waking Kakuzu from his slumber.
He clutched his head and slowly sat up. His memory was a bit fragmented. He had no idea where he was.
"Wha... where am I?" Kakuzu muttered, rubbing his head.
"I... am I hungover? Why was I drinking?"
Kakuzu reached out beside him and felt something—or someone—next to him.
His heart instantly started racing.
"Did... did I do something bad to someone last night?"
The more Kakuzu thought about it, the more panicked he became. Trembling, he reached out toward the person under the covers.
Kakuzu was salivating uncontrollably from nervousness.
Deciding to rip off the band-aid, he pulled the covers back.
Under the blanket lay an old granny, easily in her sixties or seventies. She was scratching her face and looked up at Kakuzu in confusion as the blanket was removed.
Kakuzu froze. Then he slowly pulled the covers back over her.
"No... that can't be right... I must have opened it wrong. Let's try again!"
Kakuzu gathered his courage and lifted the covers again.
It was still the same granny...
Kakuzu turned to stone. He felt that his life was now perfectly imperfect.
The granny noticed Kakuzu. Since he wasn't wearing his mask, his face was... well, let's just say not particularly handsome.
The granny immediately started vomiting.
Before Kakuzu could recover from the shock, the door burst open. A hotel staff member walked in.
The staff member, Yamahana, froze upon seeing the scene.
"G... Guest, I didn't expect... you to have such a unique hobby..." Yamahana said, expressing confusion but respect.
Realizing he was misunderstood, Kakuzu quickly explained:
"No... It's not like that! I was drunk yesterday! I don't know what happened! I don't even know how she got in here!"
The granny didn't respond; she was still vomiting.
Yamahana, seeing Kakuzu's frantic explanation, could only offer an awkward smile to diffuse the tension.
Kakuzu saw Yamahana's expression and knew the misunderstanding was set in stone. He had no choice but to accept reality...
"So... um, why did you come in?"
Yamahana put on a professional smile and explained:
"It's like this, sir. Your total consumption is 18,888 Ryo. When would you like to pay?"
Kakuzu was dumbfounded.
"What?! When did I spend money?"
Yamahana was confused too.
"Yesterday, Lord Mizuna brought you here and said to open the best room for you. You agreed repeatedly, saying you weren't short on money and could even buy this whole place."
Kakuzu felt a sharp pain in his head as memories from last night flooded back.
Flashback to Last Night:
Yamahana supported Kakuzu.
"Sir! Are you okay? Do you need help?"
The alcohol had kicked in, and Kakuzu started babbling nonsense.
"I'm not drunk! Get me the best room! Bring me the best food and the best wine! And bring lots of beautiful girls too!"
Yamahana blushed.
"Sir, we don't offer that kind of service here! Please have some self-respect!"
Kakuzu was unhappy.
"Stop pretending! I have money! I can buy this whole place if I want!"
Yamahana realized Kakuzu was drunk out of his mind, so she arranged a room and food for him as requested.
Later, Kakuzu heard a knock on the door. He opened it and saw an old granny.
"Hello young man, I'm the cleaner here to tidy up."
Kakuzu had drunk even more by then and was completely delirious.
"Oho? A beauty! Come! Come in! Drink a few cups with me!"
The granny was confused too. Seeing Kakuzu wearing a mask, he looked like a bad guy.
"Young man! I'm old enough to be your grandmother, don't tease me!"
Kakuzu got even crazier and hugged the granny.
"Woman! Come in! I'll give you 10,000 Ryo later~"
Hearing 10,000 Ryo, the granny didn't hesitate anymore.
"Young man~ You said it yourself! Don't trick an old lady like me!"
Kakuzu didn't speak, just made an "OK" hand sign.
(What happened next, even the author doesn't know (??﹃??))
---
Back to the Present.
Yamahana was calling Kakuzu.
"Sir? Sir? Are you okay?"
Kakuzu snapped back to reality and looked blankly at Yamahana.
"I'm fine... Thank you..."
The granny finished vomiting and turned to Kakuzu.
"By the way! Young man, you owe this old lady money! We agreed on 10,000 Ryo yesterday, you can't renege on your debt!"
Kakuzu calculated.
"10,000 plus 18,888 equals... 28,888 Ryo!"
Kakuzu felt a heart attack coming on. He had never spent so much money in his life!
And getting Kakuzu to pay was simply unrealistic...
Kakuzu's eyes shifted. He had an idea.
Suddenly, he shouted at the two women:
"Look! A UFO!"
Neither of them paid him any attention. Clearly, this trick didn't work...
"Sir... do you not have money?" Yamahana asked sternly.
"You lied to this old lady last night!" The granny shouted.
Kakuzu felt darkness closing in.
Why isn't my foolproof trick working?
Kakuzu didn't give up. He pointed behind them again.
"Look! An 18-year-old pretty boy with 8-pack abs and visible V-lines! Topless!"
This time, both Yamahana and the granny whipped their heads around instantly.
"Where? Where? Where is the 18-year-old pretty boy with abs?" Yamahana asked frantically.
"Where is he? Don't lie to this old lady!" The granny searched desperately.
At the door, there was only a cross-dressing muscular man blushing at them.
"Oh stop it~ Your gazes are too intense!"
The two women froze, realizing something was wrong. They turned back quickly, only to see Kakuzu's back.
Kakuzu was sprinting toward the window. He crossed his arms over his head and smashed through the glass with a violent tackle.
CRASH! He flew out.
He didn't forget to look back and taunt:
"Want me to pay? You're 20,000 years too early! HAHAHAHA! Goodbye forever!" (Note: Ultraman Zero quote).
The two women shouted frantically:
"Bastard, come back! Pay your bill!"
"How could you lie to a frail old lady like me!"
Kakuzu pretended not to hear. As he ran, he quickly put his clothes back on and sprinted toward the Konoha exit.
"I have to leave this hell!" That was Kakuzu's only thought.
Suddenly, two familiar figures appeared in front of him.
Koki Gekko and Kotetsu Maru.
"Halt! You broke the law! Come with us!"
"One more step and we Empty the Clip!"
Kakuzu didn't speak. He just kept running forward.
Seeing it was Kakuzu again, the two pulled out shuriken from their pockets, ready to unload.
But at this moment, Kakuzu leaped into the air. He seemed to be flying.
Koki Gekko was shocked. "Why... why can he jump so high? It's like... like he's flying!"
Kotetsu Maru retorted. "No! He... IS flying!"
Kakuzu was expelling Wind Style Chakra from his pores to achieve physical flight. Yes... Kakuzu took off like a rocket.
Kakuzu laughed arrogantly in the sky.
"Hahaha! Have you not heard... Heaven never bars one's way! As long as I want to go! The road! Is under my feet!" (Note: Journey to the West song lyrics).
Kakuzu flew out of Konoha just like that.
Watching from a distance, Mizuna was speechless.
"I didn't expect... Kakuzu would go to such lengths just to avoid paying... I was only trying to scare him, I didn't say I wouldn't pay for him..."
Mizuna took out 10,000 Ryo and gave it to the granny, then 20,000 Ryo to Yamahana, telling her to keep the change as compensation for mental damage...
Mizuna silently watched Kakuzu flying further and further away, disappearing into the horizon.
Mizuna sighed: "Badass......"
......