On the streets of Konoha, Hashirama pondered why everyone was acting so strange today.
"Why won't anyone lend me money? Is it because I borrow too much usually? Nah, that can't be it..."
Suddenly, Hashirama thought of a certain white-haired individual.
His little brother, Senju Tobirama!
Hashirama remembered he rarely borrowed money from Tobirama, so this should work.
Hashirama searched around and finally found his brother in the laboratory.
"Tobi-rama! My dearest little brother! Can you lend your Big Bro some money? It's an emergency!"
Seeing Hashirama asking for money right off the bat, Tobirama knew exactly what was up.
"Impossible! Anija! Little Mizuna already told me everything. You absolutely cannot gamble anymore!"
Hearing it was Mizuna's doing, Hashirama was confused. Why wouldn't Mizuna let him gamble?
"Tobi-rama! Big Bro is begging you! My hands are itching so bad right now! If I don't gamble, I'm gonna die!"
Seeing Tobirama unmoved, Hashirama tried again.
"Tobirama! Trust me! Have you ever seen a child cry every day? Have you ever seen a gambler lose every play? This time I will definitely turn it around! I'll pay you back double!" Hashirama shouted passionately.
Tobirama looked at his brother's pathetic state, covered his face, and sighed. He decided to just ignore him and turned back to his research.
Seeing his brother ignore him, Hashirama lowered his head in defeat.
Suddenly, Hashirama spotted a stack of cash on the lab table. It was obviously Tobirama's research budget.
At this moment, Hashirama's left brain and right brain began a fierce debate. The left brain told him to take the money, go gamble like a king, and pay Tobirama back double after winning. The right brain told him to be rational, that a Hokage shouldn't do this.
In the end, Hashirama's left brain achieved a decisive victory.
In a split second, Hashirama swiped the stack of cash, scribbled a note, left it on the table, and sprinted out of the lab.
Tobirama was still engrossed in his research and didn't notice his money—or his brother—had vanished.
A while later, Tobirama ran out of materials. Thinking his brother was still there, he wanted to lecture him again.
"Anija... I think..."
Before he could finish, he realized his brother was long gone. He looked around but saw no sign of Hashirama.
Thinking his brother had given up and gone home, Tobirama sighed in relief. He went to grab the money on the table to buy more materials.
That's when he discovered the money was gone. Only a note remained.
"Tobi-rama! Trust Big Bro! Big Bro will definitely pay you back double! Love you~ Big Big Bro (^ω^) "
Seeing the note, Tobirama instantly turned red with rage (Red Team).
"ANIJA! I will never lend you money again!"
Tobirama wasn't angry about the money itself—he wasn't exactly poor. He was angry at his brother's actions.
As the Hokage! How can he do such a thing?! Tobirama thought furiously.
Then he felt guilty toward Little Mizuna. He had promised not to lend Hashirama money...
Thinking of this, Tobirama got even angrier. But he had no choice but to go withdraw another stack of cash to buy his materials.
---
Meanwhile, Mizuna ran into Hiruzen and Danzo.
Hiruzen's injuries obviously hadn't healed yet.
"Mizuna? What are you doing?" Danzo asked.
Mizuna immediately asked if they had seen Hashirama. Both shook their heads, indicating they hadn't seen the Lord Hokage.
Mizuna then explained his plan and told them they absolutely had to help him.
The two boys looked bewildered.
"Stop the God of Shinobi? Us?" They thought Mizuna was crazy.
Suddenly, Mizuna looked toward the casino entrance in the distance. He saw his brother-in-law, holding a stack of cash he got from god-knows-where, happily about to enter the casino.
Mizuna panicked and shouted to the two boys:
"Quick! Stop Lord Hokage! If he gambles any more, Konoha will go bankrupt! The village will be disbanded, the clans will start warring again, and everyone will be homeless!" Mizuna lied through his teeth.
He bamboozled the two twelve-year-olds completely. They actually believed Konoha was on the brink of collapse.
They rushed forward and hugged Hashirama's legs, blabbering nonsense.
"First Hokage-sama, don't do it! We don't want Konoha to disband! Please stop gambling!"
"Lord First, please don't gamble anymore! If you stop, I'll sleep with you for a night!"
The two boys shouted chaotic gibberish.
Hashirama was confused.
"Konoha disbanding? Who said that? What does that have to do with me gambling? And that kid... what are you saying? 'Sleep with me for a night'? Why do you sound reluctant? Am I that ugly?" Hashirama thought, bewildered.
Hashirama's brain crashed. He couldn't move because the two kids were hugging his legs, and he was afraid of hurting them—especially since one of them was already injured.
Mizuna seized the opportunity to ask the System for help.
"System-bro! Help me! I can't hold him much longer! Send reinforcements!" Mizuna shouted anxiously.
[Sigh~ How can you fail such a simple mission?]
Mizuna was speechless.
"'Simple'? You call stopping the God of Shinobi simple?! This is Founder Era Hashirama! One Wood Dragon and I'm getting sent to the Shadow Realm!" Mizuna retorted internally.
"Yes... yes... please help your little bro!" Mizuna gritted his teeth and begged.
[Aiyaya~ Since you're so sincere~ I'll help you out~]
[Ding! System Support Items Issued: Immortal-Binding Rope x1 (Target loses all physical strength and powers while bound; effect disappears when untied). Electric Baton x1 (Adjustable high-voltage current to stun targets). Note: Items will be automatically returned after the mission.]
Seeing the powerful items, Mizuna felt invincible. With the Immortal-Binding Rope, he could tie up anyone. But seeing the "return after mission" note, he wilted again.
"What the hell? It's not permanent... got excited for nothing!" Mizuna complained.
[Host is dreaming! Not only is it not permanent, but there's a rental fee. This support cost you 300 Dignity Points! Thank you for your patronage!]
Mizuna exploded.
"What?! You charged me?! Why are you so greedy?!"
[Don't like it? Don't use it!]
"I paid points for it! Why wouldn't I use it?!"
Mizuna charged toward Hashirama.
Sparks flew from the baton as he jammed it directly onto Hashirama.
But something surprising happened.
Hashirama was completely fine. However, the casino barker supporting him and the two kids hugging his legs were electrocuted, twitching on the ground.
"What the hell? He's fine?"
Mizuna checked the power setting: 250V.
"Holy crap! He didn't even flinch?" Mizuna was shocked.
[Idiot! Hashirama has a Sage Body! And Hashirama Cells! How could he be stunned by mere electricity? Use the rope to bind him first, you moron!] The System explained.
"Oh right!" Mizuna realized.
Mizuna cranked up the voltage. He wanted to set it to 10,000V, but worried Hashirama's resistance might be too high.
So he set the voltage to 1,000,000V.
Then, he threw the Immortal-Binding Rope. It automatically tied Hashirama up.
Hashirama was still wondering why everyone around him had collapsed when he suddenly felt weak. His Chakra was sealed.
He looked back and saw Mizuna holding a black rod behind him.
Just as he was about to ask Mizuna what was going on, he heard Mizuna shout:
"LOOK BEHIND YOU!" (Note: Team Fortress 2 reference).
Then, everything went black.
From Mizuna's perspective, Hashirama just stood there, stiff as a board. Even after being shocked for a long time, he wouldn't fall.
So Mizuna decided to keep shocking him. He electrocuted him for a full 5 minutes before Hashirama finally tipped over.
The current Hashirama was charred black. His clothes were gone, leaving only a pair of underwear that had shrunk into a speedo. His long, straight black hair had turned into an afro. If you didn't say this was Hashirama, people would think he was a refugee from the Land of Lightning.
Afterward, Mizuna remarked that Hashirama was terrifying. It took 1,000,000 Volts for 5 minutes to knock him out.
In reality, Hashirama lost consciousness the moment the shock started. He didn't fall because the current kept his muscles in a constant state of spasm. Only when his muscles adapted did he finally collapse.
Even the System admitted Hashirama was built different. Surviving 1,000,000 Volts for 5 minutes? Probably only the Super Masaraian from the neighboring anime (Ash Ketchum) could compete.
Mizuna looked at the charred Hashirama. While marveling at his durability, he struggled to drag the body back to the Senju compound.
Along the way, he accidentally scraped off Hashirama's only remaining loincloth, resulting in Hashirama "Walking the Bird under the Sun." (Note: Streaking).
However, no one recognized their First Hokage. He was too black. Everyone thought he was a spy from the Hidden Cloud (Kumogakure). Some people clapped, while others threw cabbage and eggs at him.
Mizuna didn't explain because it was too embarrassing.
Hashirama's soul: They threw cabbage at me...
......
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