July 12, 2025
College years have ended. In my four years at this school, the only thing I learned is to be independent. I trust no one, my classmate? I hate their guts, especially when I turn my back, the idiots are talking about me.
It ended with me clinging to my grudges, the constant desire for revenge gradually eating my sanity until I'm completely irrational; people think I'm insane and deranged. I hate my classmates; I despise them so much, and I will do anything to isolate myself from them.
I never intended to join with them; they can go to hell, even a person with the kindest heart can talk trash about me. Such a pretentious saint, even angels have the darkest side they hide, it reeks of betrayal. Lies and deception plague my life. Was there a second of my life when people weren't talking about me? Calling me a pathetic liar, a manipulator? All of these accusations have ruined my image. I can't imagine tainting a good person just because you see them as odd or strange. I despise the fact that clouded and thin-narrowed people's judgment of me. As if they are fixed on the only thing they did see... My mistakes, my blunders, my downfall? Such villainy, nothing but a spiteful being.
It's funny how the "Karens" are always saying opinions pretending as if it was a fun yet they mouth stinks misinformation and lies, the dogs barking at the lone wolf who survived countless battles and has never surrounded? Who are they thinking themselves? A prophet they said, yet a false one, conning others to believe and join as a legion of fools, a fleck of comedians, uneducated yet they themselves high as God? Who gives them the right to judge me? You're not a dictator to dictate to me, my story, not yours. Perhaps this is what a one-sided story is. They refused to believe me, yet they believed the storytellers. You people make me laugh! Do you think people can have achieved my supremacy? Them, smarter me? Do these people aware of the skills I possess, for me to be underestimated by a simpleton? These people can say I'm insane, and yet I hacked people's accounts. Are they a fool? Who are they to challenge me? Same sort of genius. Yeah, you're so smart, as smart as someone who has Down syndrome. I don't think I'm an idiot here; they are.
If there's one thing I learned in my four years in college, it's not to trust these "humans," especially men, because they themselves bring trouble. A bundle of buffoon always proving to themselves about to sick and toxic masculinity, even no ask to, they are seeking to step on others and compare it to the weak and pathetic man ape child side, you know what else do that? Parasite! The world would be a better place to live if these monkeys weren't here constantly destroying the world with their pride and ego, in inhumane nature is disgusting.
I will never understand why people think I'm crying. Do I look like I'm crying? You think the angriest person in the world would even dare to cry? Arrogance, filthy humans, I hate how people see me like this. Is it wrong if I avoid being in trouble? That is not cowardice; people are just vile and violent creatures. I'm not even a religious person, but God created the evilest creatures in the world; his greatest mistake is making humanity. But if we're going into the science stuff, yeah, no wonder why science thinks we came from apes, but we certainly act like one.
Just because I stood for myself doesn't mean the world will gang up on me, as if the world is my own enemy. I'm too popular at things, for someone who wants privacy, well, that's certainly invaded. Even in my world, I could feel people were watching me, observing my actions, to judge and criticize them. But my life isn't a telenovela for people to follow. I've become the center of their nitpicks ever since that pervert ruined my life. And people are cheering it and forgot I'm the victim.
I said to myself, it wasn't my fault, I stood for the right thing, and it was they who betrayed me in the first place. What could have been a fun and peaceful college life turned me into a resentful and hateful being, while others see me as fearful and easily frightened. But unfortunately, that's not the case; if people don't see it as a threat, then someday they will see why no one ever wants to mess with me in elementary and high school. But dreams must be dreamed, and tolerance must be practiced. For a world so abusive, I don't dream of a better world; they can rot in hell. And if my soul is damned in hell, there's always a special place for me in hell... A throne.
But I wonder, my hatred for my current classmate was because it's their fault? Because it's their nature, attitude and behavior? Or is it the baggage of the past that clouded my judgement, a plague contaminating the present? Is it? Or perhaps no… It's always like this…
I have already mentioned my so-called "girl bestfriend", she was one of my BFF… Best-fake-friend.
You see, despite my absent-minded nature, I always lose myself in my imagination by accident. I will always remember that one person everyone thinks I like, but deep down I really hate, and I haven't let go of my grudge against her for a very-very long time, a person I can't stand, yet she became a leech in my life, sucking every life in my soul until I become a pus sack. That's how every time I see the person who became the bane of my existence, women, story of my life, it was a fucking woman. For whatever reason, she became a close "friend", not sure why or how it was first developed. It happened like how I was born, shit happens, and I wished it had never occurred. This motherfucker was the reason I became mentally unstable in the first place, she made me insane by just existing, and there's nothing I can do than bare this burden she started.
My folks said I stopped drinking, but deep down, I don't wanna live this accursed world, too coward end it too soon, yet too tired to live long. All I can do is drink to forget, a temporary happiness, a way for a long, painless death. It's been two years since graduation. I quit my job because I can't stand my boss, she's my aunt too, and that prick treats me like a robot off duty. As much as I want to stay this darn job, I can't tolerate her whiny ass; everyone's an asshole in my job and everyone in my life. Despite all this, I'm glad I did find a job. Just pissed I got replaced by amateur bitches.
At least I earn enough cash to buy some games online, but uh, I want more. But now my ass is jobless and no company wants a dumb fuck like me, my mind was too exhausted and my social insanity is getting worse despite medication, god fuck her for putting me this day for 9 years, 9 fucking years of medications, a psychologist who doesn't even listen to you (I hope that paycheck is worth the time, you baldie) and if I had a choice, I stopped, going to therapist is a huge scam, and everyone thinks I'm insane for taking one.
Despite the insanity the slut caused, there are so many life lessons and realizations I did not earn, but I was a naïve runt before, oblivious and so easy to deceive. This is the era of my life where I'm friendless, and I don't need one, never again.
Three weeks from being jobless and me spending on video games, I'm penniless, and every job application was either ignored or rejected. I have been rotten in bed, fat and looking empty on the inside, as if I'm no longer living. I have been dead for a long time, thanks to you bitch.
I decide to go back in my province, as much I hate staying this goddamn horrible place where I was treated like as if I'm the emotional punching or the clown, I had no choice because being in the city makes me sleepless, the loud and restless vehicle is endless, the unpredictable mouth of its citizen, the mockery and laughter, the dysfunctional couple fighting next dorm, and everything annoys me. I could never start anything. I was drowning in deep sorrow, procrastinating, all I wanted was to live a quiet life, but no, that dream was destroyed by my friends, ruined by a woman, and stepped on by everyone around. This anger has been destroying my life and mentality, so I decided… If karma won't get 'em, then fine, I'll do it myself- I will be the karma itself.
And when I get home, I will make sure I have my revenge for every time I went… Especially that bitch…