Christmas was over. The slightly awkward family time ended with a part of my family going back to their home earlier today, and once again, it was just my mum and me and our almost empty and quiet home.
Sitting down on my bed, I sighed. I was supposed to meet Ava in a bit, and I was already getting a little nervous about it. However, I got all of those thoughts out of my head as I found some clothes to throw on myself, took a few necessary things like keys, grabbed my coat, and left the apartment.
Once I was outside in the street and the cold weather hit me in the face, I stopped as my hair blew all over the place. And I sighed again, brushing my hand through the nest which came into existence. I should get a haircut… I was without a change for too long, or maybe I started getting tired of my current one.
Looking around the street, I started walking again. There weren't many people around, which was pretty understandable as it was the so-called family time. Or maybe no one really wanted to be out in this weather. The cold wind wasn't very friendly, after all.
Not much later, I reached my destination. Again, there were only a few human beings around, mostly with their dogs, as I walked a few metres into the park. I touched my phone in one of my pockets, but I didn't want to look at the time just yet—in case I was early.
"Hey," I heard a voice almost whisper behind me, which made me turn and face the person.
The dirty blonde girl stood here in her dark green jacket, looking like she didn't know what she was doing there. Even though she was the one who initiated this… encounter? A meeting? This… talk we were supposed to have now.
"Hi."
Then we just awkwardly stood there, facing each other almost in the middle of the park path. Coming here, I thought maybe she knew what she wanted to say and everything, but it seemed like that wasn't the case. Or perhaps she got nervous—which would be understandable.
Thinking about the harmless way, I jerked my head in the direction where the path was heading, to which she nodded. And so, we just walked. Side by side in total silence—well, in the silence that could exist in a park in a big city.
"So," I started after a few steps, "you wanted to meet up…"
"Yeah…"
Even though I was facing the path in front of us, I could be almost one hundred percent sure that she still had that nervous, conflicted expression on. Although this time, I stayed quiet, waiting. I couldn't just take the lead on this when she was the one who wanted to talk, right?
"I—uh…," this time, it was Ava who started—finally—taking a deep breath in between what she said, "at the party… we—uh… have you told anyone?"
"No."
I may have been confused about the whole thing, but from the way she was looking around us back there on the stairs like anyone was going to see us, I didn't feel really good about the image of talking about it with anyone. My friends from home didn't know her, though, and I still kept it to myself, thinking that she maybe wanted to forget. That was until she liked my Instagram post and texted me.
"Me neither."
I glanced at her, "But we should talk… Well, you wanted to."
Unless she wanted to meet only to be sure I didn't tell anyone. In that case, this conversation was over, and not really meaningful.
"I know."
She went silent again. I turned to look at the scenery in front of us. My eyes fell on the branches that were moving in the winter wind. It looked weirdly comforting. I almost smiled to myself, but then I felt the cold breeze on my cheeks and sighed. It would be more comfortable to watch the winter nature from somewhere warmer.
"If you wanna forget 'bout it… not talk 'bout it again, just say so," I said firmly. And if she wanted it to go like that, she have could just texted me that. What was the point of meeting up then?
"No."
"No, what?"
"I don't wanna forget," she mumbled, to which I let out a frustrated breath. She was confusing me so much. One time she confronted me, then she was pouring her heart out to me, then she used to stare at me at lunch like I did something to her, then she kissed me and ran away…
Sighing deeply, I stepped to the side before stopping in my tracks. After glancing at the moving branches one last time, I turned to face Ava, who was staring at the park path under us.
"Listen," I started, at which she made no reaction, "if you wanna say something, say it, but don't give me this… full-of-nothing silence."
My words made her look up as she gave me a troubled look, "Yeah, right."
"So?"
"I wouldn't mind repeatin' it," Ava murmured after a sigh.
My brows furrowed. This also was not something I had expected her to say. Still, I said nothing, waiting for her to elaborate—to continue. Because I wouldn't mind repeating that, either—which felt wrong enough at some point.
"Shall we get some coffee?"
I blinked, surprised at the sudden change of topic. Or maybe it wasn't really a change of topic, and she was just cold—I was, too. And so, I nodded quietly, following her out of the park and into the closest cafe, which was indeed close enough and open and not full, surprisingly. This weather was calling for coffee or tea, after all.
Automatically, I looked around the interior. It was cozy in here. And warm. As there weren't many people here, it was also hushed inside, with some soft music actually being the loudest thing that could be heard there. And, well, the coffee maker wasn't really quiet either, obviously.
We took our seats by one of the windows, and I immediately took off my coat and scarf. I may have wanted to get a haircut, but long hair at least protected my head a little in cases like these—that was a plus point, so most of the time I didn't wear any hats. And, well, I didn't like the way my hair stayed out of the hat either, so it was just better not to wear one.
"Whatcha gettin'?" Ava asked when she turned to look at the blackboard above the counter.
"Hot chocolate."
I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't her getting up the next second and going to get our order. I blinked, stunned as I stared after her. I could pay for myself with no problem, and with this thought in my head, I got up only to see Ava glancing back at me, shaking her head.
Sinking down in my seat, I rather moved my gaze to the scenery outside. Cars passing the cafe, some people walking, mostly with their dogs, couples and some families.
"I wanted to buy you a hot drink since I asked to see you in this weather," I heard Ava's voice, showing she was back at our table.
Flinching, I blinked before looking up at her. She was just putting our order on the table by our seats. I didn't even realise that I had been waiting for so long here. Rather, I moved my gaze down to my mug with hot chocolate. The mug had quite a cute design, with a small cow on the side.
"So," I started, glancing around just in case even though I knew Ava would do that anyway, "you want… what now? Make that make-out session a casual thing?"
Her greenish eyes bored into mine while blinking a few times. She was probably a bit stunned at the way I put my words. But I wasn't going to say more. Instead, I waited for her to say something for a change. And that something came only after a few seconds of silence, for once.
"Maybe?"
Maybe?
This time it was me who blinked a few times, stunned. I thought she would probably suggest something… kind of different. It wasn't like I wanted to get into a relationship on a whim. No. I didn't even know what I wanted and was still surprised at her answer. Or it was just that I didn't expect this from her.
"This is nice," she mumbled, glancing outside.
I stared at her as her greenish eyes went over all the people out there. She was so beautiful… Yeah, this was quite nice…
I could understand her, on the other hand. All that had happened between us until now was just a few stolen kisses. Nothing more. No feelings—nothing. So this hang-out we had at the moment was probably the best and only thing we could do—no strings attached.