"Oh… this is hard," Llana murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose.
She stared at the card in her hand. It was light as a feather, yet it felt unbearably heavy at this moment.
"Should I put my name?" she asked softly, lifting her gaze toward the camera as if it could answer her.
But the camera only blinked its red light back at her.
_____
Park Jin-young sat on the leather couch, his laptop open on the low table in front of him.
He leaned forward, both elbows resting on his knees, fingers loosely clasped together as he watched Llana through the screen.
"Oh, she's in a dilemma," he said with a quiet chuckle. "Writing your own name takes courage. In a competition, putting yourself first is a natural response. But not everyone is comfortable doing or admitting that."
_____
Llana sighed again, suddenly feeling silly for talking to the camera.
"…I think I deserve the points," she spoke quietly, "I'm a good singer. I can dance."
Her vocals were already at 8.904 — skilled, nearly professional. Her dancing stood at 7.68 — above average and steadily heading to professional.
"I also think I possess the three qualities JYP-nim mentioned…"
She wasn't trying to be arrogant. She was simply being honest with herself.
But honesty could sound like pride.
Would the others think she was narcissistic?
Would they believe she had already failed the last quality — humbleness?
Llana exhaled slowly.
If acknowledging and voicing them is arrogance, then does staying silent mean humility? Or is that just another form of dishonesty?
Llana let out a quiet laugh, feeling strangely helpless.
It felt like being back in ethics class, debating morality and self-perception and questioning whether recognizing your strengths was self-awareness or conceit.
And now, here she was once again, trapped in an internal dilemma.
"I don't know… I think people might think I'm being conceited right now. This is really giving me a headache," she muttered, scrunching her nose before laughing softly.
She paused.
Maybe it's time to call a friend?
'System… what do you think I should do?'
[Host should choose the option that brings you the most ease. If writing your name causes discomfort, then refrain from doing so.]
Llana nodded slowly at that.
The best answers are often the simplest.
When you're torn between choices, trust the one that feels more right.
Now, who among the contestants should she write?
She didn't know most of them well enough to judge. So she narrowed it down to the ones she felt closest to the most.
Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, Mina… and unexpectedly, Jeongyeon.
Her time with Jeongyeon had been limited. They weren't particularly close, and they didn't talk much. But the older girl would quietly check on her from time to time, asking about her well-being. She did the same for the younger contestants.
Llana had felt that kindness.
Her time with them was still short, but she knew them better than the others. And each of them seemed to possess the qualities JYPE was looking for.
Llana stared at the card again.
Now… who should she pick?
"Sigh… this is really hard."
Llana took a steady breath and sat down on the chair before reaching for the pen.
She placed the card on the table and lowered the tip of her pen where the three points were indicated.
After a brief pause, she finally began writing the names on the card.
Not more than 8 minutes after, Llana exhaled softly and stood up.
"I gave 3 points to Jeongyeon-unnie because I think she truly deserves it. We're not very close and we rarely talk, but she's always caring and attentive to the younger participants—even to me."
Llana remembered the third-week challenge preparation, when she returned late to the majors' dorm and found Jeongyeon waiting in the living room, refusing to sleep until she got back. Jeongyeon had been so worried that she was even about to call management if Llana hadn't returned within a minute.
" She's one of the older trainees and has trained longer than most of us, but I've never seen her boast about it. I think she possesses the qualities PD-nim is looking for."
Llana glances down at her card again before looking up, "I'm giving 2 points to Chaeyoung-unnie. Out of everyone here, I've spent more time with her and know her better than most so I'm confident she has everything PD-nim is looking for in JYPE's new girl group."
"Lastly, I'm giving 1 point to Dahyun-unnie. She's talented, honest, hardworking, and humble. She's also very unique, so I think she should be included in the group. She deserves a spot."
Llana opened her mouth, hesitating slightly before continuing.
"I really wanted to write my own name earlier, but after thinking about it, I realized it would feel better if the evaluation came from others. That way, it would mean more to me. That's all. Thank you." She gave a small nod to the camera before standing and walking out of the room.
She believes she also deserves the score, but she thinks it's better to let others vote instead. After all, how we see ourselves can differ from how others see us, so no matter whether her score ends up high or low, she'll accept it
Believing in yourself was one thing. Letting others recognize you was another.
Once outside, a staff member approached her.
"Llana-ssi, please wait on the lawn until the others finished."
Llana nodded and smiled, then strolled at a leisurely pace, inhaling the cool air and letting it soothe her nerves.
By the time she arrived, the production team had finished setting up. The SEVENTEEN sign glowed under spotlights, with cameras and tripods lined up at the far end.
"Oh… looks like I'll be waiting here for a while," she murmured to herself as she walk to the side and sank onto the grass. She had to wait for the others anyway better to sit comfortably than stand there awkwardly.
[Ding!]
A soft chime rang in her ears.
[Mission detected]
[Task: Defend your position for the 5th week's challenge.]
[Rewards: +0.007 Dancing, + 300,000 virtual coins.]
Seeing the virtual coin reward, Llana couldn't help feeling a little better. She was looking forward to getting more virtual coins so she could stack more songs.