Ugh!
None of these were good enough!
Did she not own a pair of clothes that weren't in some way tattered?
...Or did he like how she looked already?
So many questions, so little time. She needed to be ready.
Maybe she could get Blitzo to buy her a new outfit... Crap.
That meant actually doing her job. UGH! Anything but that!
Loona already didn't like working with her dad! He could be so obnoxious sometimes...
And she couldn't stand Moxxie! There was something about him that just pissed her off!
Although she liked Millie... She didn't understand why she married a loser like Moxxie, but whatever. Maybe it was some sort of kink thing?
Ew...
But then... There was him.
Loona had no idea why he had come to work for their hit squad, for he was more than qualified to start his own business, but she was thankful he did! He was interesting. Mysterious...
"Would you take a break?" Loona heard her father's voice groan somewhere behind her. "You've been scouring through your clothes since you got back from the fucking hotel! We have work for the rest of this week!"
"Why are you in my room?!" Loona growled threateningly.
"That doesn't matter at the moment." Blitzo nonchalantly waved off Loona's rightful indignation before scoffing and placing his hands on his hips. "What do you think you are doing, young lady? You do realize it wasn't that kind of date, right?"
Loona snarled, barely listening to Blitzo at first, but thought better of it. This was his house...
"Huh, what do you mean? I just heard him say the loser had to do some sort of punishment with him and that it was a date." Loona glared oddly at Blitzo.
"Oh, Loony, I hate to break it to you, but it's not that kind of punishment." Blitzo gave his daughter a sympathetic grimace. "I've seen what happens in that shit hole he used to live in and what becomes of the succubus that tried to break in to get it on with him. You aren't getting that from him if they can't get it. That ain't his thing to give it like that."
"Ugh, gross!" Loona recoiled and put her hands before her face as Blitzo made a very lewd gesture. "That's not what I want at all!"
"It isn't?" Blitzo's head snapped in surprise before he attempted to play it off. "I mean, good! Glad we got that out of the way..."
"If it is out of the way, can I have some money for a new outfit?" Loona sneered, glad her father was being reasonable for once.
If he could only be that way most of the time...
"Ah, hell no!" Blitzo ragged, shaking his head furiously. "I am not about to let my little Loony go out and get a slutty outfit! Not on my watch! You've got to earn it!"
"Fine. I'll do some work tomorrow. Happy?" Loona clicked her tongue in annoyance.
"Huh?" Blitzo stopped his ranting, cocking his head to the side in confusion having expected more of a fight. "Really?"
"Yes!" Loona glowered and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
Was it so odd that she would do her job to get paid? To get what she wanted?
"Huh... okay, not how I expected this to go." Blitzo rubbed his throbbing temple before growling in frustration and offering a handshake. "Fuck it! Do everything you are supposed to do in the office tomorrow, and I'll give you some money to buy some clothes for your date, deal?
Loona accepted with hesitation.
"Deal."
[ X ]
What did he wrangle himself into?
This had been a whirlwind that had swept him off his feet. That stuff didn't happen very often!
Lucifer found where he lived after they both isolated and exiled themselves from the world outside. Gave him a job surrounded by a bunch of lovable fools...
Sometimes.
And more of all, Lucifer gave him a purpose again and... Brought Charlie back into his life.
Now, Bee had interjected herself back into his life, forced him out of his exile to live with Charlie and all her redemption projects. Something that he had wanted to do long ago...
It was a metric shit ton of events to digest in such a short amount of time. He was struggling already, and now...
He had a date in a few days!
What the ever living fucking?!
"I just don't know! She's just so... Young for him!"
Naruto's ears twitched as the smell of his morning coffee wafted to his nostrils. He was barely awake, and Husk had just served him his morning cup. But of course, he could overhear Charlie talking to Vaggie at the main desk.
Curse his acute sense of hearing.
"And? We all have basic immortality. Why does age matter when we can live indefinitely?" Vaggie reasoned, repressing the urge to roll her eyes before her features tightened. "And besides, shouldn't you be encouraging this? This can only be good for him."
"I, ah, you've got a point there," Charlie sheepishly shrank before releasing an exhausted exhale. "It's just... I worry, okay?"
"There's more to it than that, Charlie. What's bothering you?" Vaggie frowned, gazing at Charlie in concern.
"Can't hide anything, can I?" Charlie winced for the first time at being easily read and the second time from Vaggie nodding in confirmation. "I... I grew up with his stories, Vaggie. I felt as if I lived them. To me, she's my aunt, even though I've never met her. ...It would be like if Dad got together with someone else."
Naruto couldn't contain his sigh. He hadn't thought of her in a long time...
He had forgotten what she even looked like.
Taking a stiff drink of his coffee, he set his cup on the counter. With a simple nod toward Husk, the bartender handled his cup care and moved to wash it while Naruto stood up from his stool, yawning as he made his way directly toward the main desk.
"You know I can hear you two, right?" Naruto stifled a yawn, stopping at the front desk and glowering at the two.
"Oh, I am more than aware." Vaggie scowled before scoffing, likely recalling a memory of Naruto spoiling her relationship with Charlie.
Naruto grinned. That was a fun day.
"Oh, I, uh..." Charlie stumbled over her own words. Regathering her composure relatively quickly, she stood up straight and forced a smile. "Off to work?"
"Don't have anywhere else better to be. Besides, gotta work to pay my rent." Naruto nodded while cracking his back with a stretch.
"About that... Can we talk?" Charlie nervously chuckled.
Naruto simply raised an eyebrow but gave Charlie his full attention. He noticed Vaggie repressing an eye roll and sighed.
Had to be something else they disagreed with.
"Well, you see... Uh..." Charlie nervously started before releasing a deflating sigh. Her gaze wavered before she took a deep breath and straightened her posture. "Look, I know we are all demons. That most jobs around here revolve around the seven core sins. I've made peace with that fact despite it making my job very difficult. It's why I allow Angel Dust to continue acting."
"You want me to quit?" Naruto stated matter-of-factly.
"Yes," Charlie simply said before sighing. "We know the one sin the Angels look down upon more than any other is murder. They have no leniency on it, even if it was an accident or even in self-defense. Killing someone is forbidden."
"Then I should be here a thousand times over." Naruto rolled his shoulders uncaringly, matching Charlie's stern gaze. "Charlie, you know better than most that I have always been embroiled in death, and many lives were ended because of me. I am not without sin by this world's standards. I am not redeemable."
Charlie recoiled and staggered while Vaggie gave a reproachful look.
Naruto sighed and shook his head. "Look, I will follow the hotel's rules while I am here. I'll attend your activities and help out. ...But don't treat me like I am one of them. The fuckers above already deemed me irdeemable when they sent me here despite all the good I have done."
"I, uh... Okay..." Charlie deflated, a thin veil of mist shimmering over her eyes.
Naruto held back the urge to grimace and bite his lip. He hadn't wanted to break the facts to her... It upset him seeing Charlie like this.
However, it was the truth. Maybe others could be redeemed. It was possible. Almost anything was.
Except for his redemption.
If they wouldn't let him through the gates after everything he accomplished, Naruto knew nothing he ever did would be good enough for them.
"I'll see you later," Naruto said, hiding the wave of depression that crashed over him as he turned around and waved. Give me a call if you need something."
"I seriously doubt we'll be doing anything important today."
[ X ]
How he hated being right.
Naruto should have expected it. The day was going by like any other. There wasn't much to do as they watched TV in the office and waited for a job.
If one even showed up. And even if one did come here, they were usually crazy.
How did Blitzo attract that kind of customer?
...
Oh, right. This business was technically illegitimate.
But, given the fact that they were endorsed to him by Luci... And that he was working here now did give this ragtag crew legitimacy.
"Is everything okay?" Naruto was snapped out of his brooding thoughts by Loona, snapping out of her nap at some point, tapped him on the shoulder, her head cocked curiously. "You looked more broody than usual. Something off? ...Besides living at that hotel."
He squinted at the words Loona used before cursing and muttering under his breath. Sasuke would laugh at how the tables had turned...
"Just taking all these changes that have been brought on me recently," Naruto growled in annoyance and shook his head.
"I can imagine. I didn't think asking a favor from Queen Bee would lead to all this." Loona started sympathetically before wincing, almost expecting some kind of foul reply.
Only to be met by a shrug.
"You couldn't have known what Bee would have done." Naruto shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I was living in that place in borrowed time the very moment Luci found where I lived. It would either be him, Bee, or Charlie taking matters into their hands. In the end, it was a combination of all of them..."
"So... What you are saying is that you were always fated to live at that hotel?" Loona raised an eyebrow, curious. "And how is this Luci you keep mentioning? Is she the father of the hotel owner?"
"Yeah, that would be Lucifer." Naruto simply nodded, only noticing Loona freeze momentarily after he said Luci's full name.
Luci's position and power, or Charlie's status, didn't matter to Naruto. However, to others...
"She's the daughter of Lucifer!" Loona hissed as a variety of frightened emotions coursed through her. "I thought she was just some crazy Fallen Angel who didn't know any better!"
"You'd be surprised how many people think that. She certainly is something else down here." Naruto bit back a laugh and lightly chuckled instead.
Loona's nerves calmed when she saw how Naruto responded, and she released a breath she had been holding in terror. Her tail swished behind her excitedly, unintentionally swaying her hips as she bashfully scooted closer. "So, do you have any plans... For our date, I mean!"
"You do realize that was meant to be a threat?" Naruto flatly stared at Loona. Either she didn't care or was blatantly not listening to him, since it wasn't the answer she sought.
Naruto repressed the desire to palm his face. Loon was... Something.
"Not yet. I might have to call on a friend to set something up at Ozzie's. He might throw someone out for us." Naruto exhaled and shook his head before grinning, imagining the look on Asmodeus' face when he strolled into his factory.
In fact, Moxxie was mirroring the same look he was imagining!
Priceless...
"No flirting at work!" Blitzo suddenly emerged and separated Naruto and Loona, shoving both away upon seeing the glow in his daughter's gaze. "Fuck Satan! I can't get a moment of reprieve! At least it isn't from the freaks this time!"
"Whatever you say, boss," Naruto knew better than to argue with the exasperated Blitzo.
Naruto had a good idea of what was going on in his head. He had those same thoughts many, many years ago...
Was Hell shaking?
That was weird. He hadn't done anything today...
"Um, guys, do you feel that?" Loona broke everyone's attention as a light rumbling shook the building.
"Oh, shit! Is that a Hell quake?" Blitzo snapped to attention, preparing for the worst-case scenario.
"Is that possible?" Moxxie asked as the rest of I.M.P. wandered the room before all eyes shifted to Naruto.
As if they knew...
"It's not me," Naruto glowered and rolled his eyes. "Stop panicking, would ya? There isn't anything scarier than me."
"He's right... So stop panicking, Moxxie!" Millie nodded before suddenly grabbing her husband by the shoulder and looking him dead in the eyes.
"I'm not," Mox gently pushed his wife away.
...Only to get severely shaken and the shit slapped out of him by Loona...
"Stop panicking, fatty!"
Naruto blinked, bemused at watching Moxxie flying across the room from Loona's slap. She put some...
The wall behind where Mox flew exploded, and a pile of bricks collapsed onto him. In the same exact moment, what looked like a wrecking ball broke through before it strangely untangled.
Naruto blinked. It happened to be a pair of legs that belonged to an elderly Sinner as he jumped into the office room.
"Do not be afraid!" The old Sinner announced.
For one of the few times, Naruto whistled as nearly everyone was on the defensive and ready to fight...
Except Blitzo, who looked exhausted and irritated. "Please tell me you got that insurance thing."
Naruto couldn't blame him. With a sigh as Millie confronted the strange man, Naruto could already tell where this was heading.
They were about to get a job.
[ X ]
At least they were wearing disguises this time.
Not very good ones, but at least they were trying. Naruto gave them a modicum of respect for attempting to blend in.
And they failed even to hold that for a moment as they all leapt off the tour bus with weapons drawn.
"For fuck sake," Naruto palm his face and dragged his hand over it.
He was going to have to take a day... A week... A year...
A decade to properly train these clowns on how to properly operate...
Were those Cherubs?
Feeling a murderous intent welling within, Naruto could feel his human disguise begin to shift. He had to bite back his rage at seeing the adorable angels descend upon their target.
A difficult task when all he wanted to do was reach out and wrangle their tiny little necks...
"It has been a while, hasn't it?"
Naruto froze, but only for a second. Hellfire bubbled with and flickers of flames torched the bus around him, and a roaring fire engulfed it in seconds.
Thankfully, the humans screamed and raced toward safety. Good.
He didn't need to worry about them or collateral damage... And, oh, there was going to be collateral damage as he turned to stare at the only other person sitting on the bus.
"Oh, my. Causing a scene already? Can't say I'm surprised with your short temper." A pair of golden hues sparkled, titillated at the display. "But as much as it amuses me to watch the all-powerful Embodiment of Death lose his temper, I did not come here with ill intent. I have something to discuss with you, Naruto Uzumaki."
"And what do we have to discuss?" Naruto snarled, his rage boiling over as he forwent his human appearance and transformed into his demonic state. "From where I'm standing, the terms of peaceful diplomacy went out the window the moment Lilith disappeared because of you..."
"Archangel Michael!"