The bell above the door chimed as Julian and his trio of picky eaters stepped into The Spicy Magmar. The air inside was thick with the heavy, humid scent of toasted cumin and simmering onions. After an hour of standing in a line that moved with the speed of a slow-moving Magcargo, they finally slid into a corner booth.
"Jia-gei-gu... ptooey!"
The silence of the restaurant was momentarily broken as Togetic, who had been vibrating with culinary anticipation, spat her first spoonful of the "House Special" back onto the plate. Her face twisted into a mask of pure, unadulterated shock.
"Floette-flo... (Ugh, it's... definitely a choice,)" Floette muttered. She took a tentative nibble of a potato chunk, her wings buzzing with a lack of enthusiasm. She chewed slowly, her expression flat. "It's technically food. I can swallow it without my body rejecting it, but I feel like I'm eating a wet sponge that once sat near a spice rack."
Despite her critique, Floette continued to eat, though her usual "vacuum-mode" speed had been replaced by a reluctant, mechanical chew.
"Fly-ah... (I'm done. My tongue is offended.)" Sylveon didn't even bother with a second bite. She pushed the colorful ceramic bowl away with a dainty ribbon. "Julian, the 'Emergency Rations,' please. I'm not putting my digestive system through this mediocrity just to be polite to the chef."
"Jia-gei! (Me too! Save me! Give me the good stuff!)" Togetic chirped, looking at Julian with wide, pleading eyes.
Julian sat across from them, his own plate untouched. He had suspected this would happen, but seeing the sheer level of disgust on Togetic's face was almost impressive.
"Honestly, you guys are the most spoiled Pokémon in the Sinnoh region," Julian sighed, though there was a hint of pride in his voice. "I feel bad for the chef, but a waste of food is a crime. Since I didn't order for myself, I guess I'm on cleaning duty. Floette, you want to help me finish these?"
He reached into his backpack, pulling out two airtight containers of custom-blended Pokéblocks. As soon as the lids popped, the aroma of sun-ripened berries and high-grade protein filled their small booth, smelling infinitely better than the house curry.
"Jia-gei-gu~ (Sister Sylveon was right. I don't know how all these people are eating this stuff with smiles on their faces.)" Togetic crunched into a Pokéblock, her eyes rolling back in relief. She glanced around at the other tables, where happy families were devouring the same curry she'd just rejected. "Is there something wrong with their taste buds? Or is Julian just a wizard?"
Sylveon flicked a feeler dismissively. "Fly-ah... (Neither. They just don't know what they're missing. You've been eating five-star meals since you were an egg. To you, this is trash. To them, it's a Tuesday lunch. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose.)"
"Jia-gei! (At least Growlithe and Carbink didn't have to witness this tragedy,)" Togetic whispered, glancing at the Poké Balls resting on Julian's belt.
"Growlithe would have hated this anyway," Julian interjected, scooping up a spoonful of the curry. It wasn't bad, but compared to his own slow-simmered recipes, it felt flat and overly sugary. "It's too sweet for his palate. And Carbink? She'd look at this rice and ask where the iron content was. Her diet is 90% minerals and high-density fiber. Curry would probably just give her a stomachache."
"Fly-ah? (So no take-out for the sleepers?)" Sylveon asked, tilting her head.
"Nope. They've got their own special menu waiting at home," Julian smiled. He reached down to rub the soft fur behind Sylveon's ears, a subconscious reflex that had become more frequent since his "confession."
Suddenly, Julian's Aura flared with a sense of movement. He looked to his left and saw a familiar grey-pink cube floating out of his open backpack. Floette had used her Psychic powers to levitate a third Pokéblock toward her mouth while she was still midway through the second plate of curry.
Julian's face went flat. "You... you've already polished off your bowl AND Togetic's leftovers. And now you're raiding the pantry? Floette, you're going to turn into a Snorlax."
"Leafeon~ (I can't help it! The curry didn't satisfy my soul, only my stomach! I need a palate cleanser!)" Floette mumbled around the block, her cheeks puffed out.
Julian rubbed his forehead. "I've created a monster. At least you aren't getting sauce all over the tablecloth this time. I guess the quality of the food determines how much of a mess you make?"
The Solaceon Shopping Spree
Once the bill was settled (and the chef given a polite, if slightly dishonest, compliment), the group headed back into the heart of Solaceon Town. The free market was in full swing, a chaotic tapestry of vendors selling everything from Rare Bones to handmade dolls.
"Carbink should like this," Julian muttered, picking up a smooth, translucent polishing stone from a specialty mineral stall. "It's high-grit, perfect for keeping her diamonds sparkling. I'll take five."
He moved to the next stall, his eyes scanning the hanging meats. "And I need the marrow bones. Growlithe's been such a good sport about the 'cuddle tax' lately, he deserves a long chew."
"Fly-ah! (Julian! Over here! I need this! Now!)" Sylveon called out from a booth draped in soft fabrics. She was pointing a ribbon at a handmade plushie of a Clefairy.
"Leafeon-flo! (Julian! Look! Blue-bells! They're fresh! Buy them for my collection!)"
"Jia-gei-gu! (Boss, this! This shiny thing!)"
"Hey, wait! One at a time!" Julian laughed, scrambling to keep up with the three of them as they darted between stalls like hyperactive Pachirisu. "I only have two hands and one wallet!"
The Relapse
An hour later, Julian looked like a pack mule. He was draped in shopping bags, carrying a bundle of fresh flowers in one hand and a sack of "big-bones" in the other. They finally trudged back into the hotel suite, the cool air-conditioning a welcome relief from the afternoon heat.
"Alright, we're home!" Julian announced, dropping the bags on the sofa with a heavy thud. "You guys did great today. Go ahead and play with your new stuff while I get started on dinner. It's going to be a feast to make up for that curry."
He paused, patting his pockets. "Oh, right. The sleepers. Come on out, you two."
With a double flash of white light, Growlithe and Carbink appeared. Growlithe was curled into a tight ball on his rug, his tail tucked over his nose. Carbink was nestled in her new stone-bed, her gems glowing with a soft, pulsing light. Both remained deep in the land of dreams.
"Man, they really can sleep through anything," Julian whispered, shaking his head fondly.
[Look at him,] Julian's internal monologue began to spiral. [Growlithe looks so peaceful. And those paws... those little orange-and-black paw pads. They look so squishy. Just one little pinch wouldn't wake him up, right? It would be a crime NOT to touch them.]
"Fly-ah...!"
Sylveon's sharp bark cut through Julian's trance. He jumped, his heart racing.
"What? What is it, Sylveon?"
"Fly-ah! Sylveon-fly! (What happened to 'I won't disturb Growlithe'? What happened to 'Scout's Honor'?)" Sylveon was staring at him with a look of pure, unadulterated disdain.
"I didn't disturb him! I'm just standing here!" Julian insisted, his voice rising an octave.
"Fly-ah... (Then why is your hand three inches away from his face?)"
Julian looked down. To his horror, he realized he had subconsciously drifted across the room. He was hovering over Growlithe's bed, his right hand shaped into a perfect "squishing" claw, mere millimeters away from the puppy's front paw.
"Uh... I... this is a misunderstanding!" Julian stammered, his face turning a shade of red that rivaled a Magmar. "I was just... checking the... ambient temperature of the fur! For health reasons!"
He saw the looks on the faces of Floette and Togetic. It was the same look of utter disbelief they'd given him that morning.
"I'll... I'll go cook now. Goodbye."
Julian turned on his heel and bolted into the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind him with a frantic click.
Sylveon sat on the carpet, staring at the kitchen door. She let out a long, weary sigh. "Fly-ah... (As I suspected. His promises in this department are worth about as much as a Magikarp in a desert. The man is a lost cause.)"
(￢_￢)
"Jia-gei... (It's kind of scary how fast he moved,)" Togetic whispered, looking genuinely concerned. "He didn't even realize he was doing it. Sister Sylveon, do you think he's going to try and pet Carbink too? She's made of rock... that might hurt his hand."
"Floette-flo! (Knowing Julian, he'll find a way to make it weird regardless of the texture. We have to be vigilant.)"
Inside the kitchen, Julian leaned against the counter, his face buried in his hands. [I'm a disaster,] he thought. [But man... those paws were SO close.]