"Accept me," Tej looked at the sky. It was his silent prayer to a god—if he even existed. Save him… save him from drowning inside himself. The more he tried to come out of his trauma, the more something pushed him back into it.
"How will I? You know it's not easy… to love someone… to say 'I love you.' I could say it if it felt easy. Look at the stars… they always shine without asking for permission. They don't need anyone to tell them to twinkle. Whatever happens, they shine, smile, blink.
But why do we humans need validation from someone just to feel love, to express feelings, to smile, to live?
We are so low… so weak.
Clouds don't ask for permission to rain.
Plants don't ask for permission to bloom.
Nature doesn't go to anyone asking anything.
It doesn't need permission.
Then why do we humans?"
"The threads are tangled, and trying to untie them feels like wasting each other's time. I've already wasted too much of mine.
The first time you walked past me… that moment was special. We were strangers then… and honestly, we still are. Nothing has changed.
And if you hadn't lifted your eyes towards me… if you hadn't held me without a word… maybe we wouldn't be stuck in this confusion today.
I'm not blaming you. Maybe you were always right… maybe I'm the one who's always been lost and tangled.
I never learned how to take responsibility… how to hold relationships… how to keep love.
All my life, I've only lost the people who mattered to me.
Aria… can you forgive me?
By rejecting you, I've only been hurting myself.
I am not capable of your love, my beloved."**
Tej thought.
"Bro… bro, come out of your shell!" Babu shouted as he entered my room.
I was already lying on my bed, no mood to talk to anyone except myself. Babu kept insisting I come downstairs and spend time with them. But I wanted to avoid every attachment. This present… it will end soon. Everything is going to end… too soon… and it has already started ending.
"What should I even say to you? I don't understand why you behave so uneasy, so uncomfortable around us. Haven't these six months been enough for you to be comfortable with us?
Tej… my sister will leave soon, and I'll end up here all alone. I don't even have a good friend who stands by me, talks real things, gives me advice. I'm glad I found you… but we should stop this silence and be good friends.
Tej? What do you think?"
"I don't know… This place isn't my place. One day I will leave… you know that. It's better if we keep some distance."
"But you're too close to Mimi… I mean Aria. How? Why? What do you two even talk about?"
"It's… it's about life."
"Life? You both are so similar… I was really worried. What if she ended up with you? I was scared…"
He fell silent.
Aria was sitting on the couch alone, hugging her knees. The living room lights were dim, and the cold night air was slipping in through the half-open window. Tej came downstairs to wash his face before sleeping. As he wiped the water from his face, his eyes caught Aria sitting quietly.
He paused.
For a moment, he just looked at her—silent, unreadable—then he walked toward her.
"It's cold… go sleep in your room," he said softly.
She didn't reply. She didn't even look at him.
"I'm talking to you…"
"Why should I listen to you?" she finally said, her voice low. "Who are you to me? And why do you care so much?"
"I don't care about you…"
"Then act like you didn't see me."
"Listen… why are you doing this to me?" His voice cracked a little. "Stop it, Aria. Please… stop it."
"What am I doing?" She gave a small, tired smile. "I'm just enjoying the cold weather. Should I go to the terrace? Right? Yeah…"
She stood up and walked away.
"Hey—stop!"
She ignored him and went upstairs.
No sweater.
Bare feet touching the cold floor.
Tej followed quickly, worry tightening his chest.
She stepped onto the terrace. The wind blew through her hair, making it dance around her face.
"See?" she said with a strange calmness. "I feel very good here…"
"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry," Tej whispered.
"For what?"
"For not loving you…"
"It's your worst sin," she said with a soft laugh. "You'll go to hell."
"No doubt…"
She hugged her arms against the cold. "I'm afraid… afraid to marry a man I don't even know properly. I never talked to him. I don't know what he likes. What if I fail to protect my relationship? I never kept any relationship safe… whether it was with my parents, my brother, my friends.
My ex left me. Do you want to know why?"
Her eyes glistened.
"He cheated on me… because I couldn't give him a fun, social relationship. A perfect girl. A girl everyone desires. And I… I'm always unnoticed. A girl no one looks at. I am invisible.
That's why he left me.
And after he was gone, I realized… he was never really with me.
I didn't feel anything."
Aria… how blind are you…
"I'm desperate for love. I want someone to see me, without any sympathy. From his love, he holds my hand not for my protection, but to walk beside me. He kisses my lips not because of affection, but because he loses himself in me. I want love… I want love…"
I wiped my tears. She was crying too. Should I go hug her… wipe her tears?
She turned to look at the sky. "Did you know… I like to watch them? They're free… from any emotions."
I want to free myself… give myself to someone who holds me tightly… holds me when I'm about to fall… catches me when I throw myself at him.
I smiled…
So you're romantic.
I never was… before meeting you…
Aria… my life is messed up.
I know…
I can't take responsibility.
I'm not asking for responsibility…
But I want to get out of my own chaos, Aria… from the pain that's killing me inside…
Let's heal together… She gave me her hand. Should I hold it? I looked at it for a second, then grabbed it.
Was it a confession? Did I confess? No… it was emotional support I gave her.