'Changes are inevitable. We have all learned this or heard this from somewhere. But how many of us really don't get upset when changes happen in our lives? I think no human beings of this human race would be happy with any kind of drastic changes taking place in our lives.
Changes and human relationships are actually a very big irony.
Earth was formed because of a change in the universe. The human race has evolved from Homo sapiens because of environmental changes and many other changes.
Every corner of this earth, or this universe, screams for change and lives for it. No matter how much we try to suppress the changes from happening, we just can't, because they are unstoppable.
And moreover, will there be no fun left in our life if changes don't visit us frequently...?'
He logs off from his unofficial or, one can say, 'hidden from the public's eye' Instagram account and throws his phone on the bed. As it was Sunday, there was nothing to do, so he decided not to leave his bedroom for today. And moreover, from Monday he has to go to the hospital for his therapy, so it's better if he rests now. He knows those sessions will exhaust him.
There is no doubt that whoever has written the content of the above post which Ivaan was reading, has an amazing way of writing and interpreting things. The facts about the changes written are true, and he agrees that changes are necessary in human life, but currently, he hates the changes the most.
He knows that by hating the changes, he is doing nothing and proving that person right. But he really can't do anything about it. Even though the post definitely is not for him, he can't deny the fact that these words were influential, and he will never forget those words.
Those words carry too much power with them and such powerful words can't be forgotten no matter how much the world changes.
Without the phone in his hands and nothing to distract him, his mind traveled back in the memories. His mind was now full of thoughts and those thoughts were filled with struggles.
From the very start, he thought that being the leader of the group it was his responsibility to keep the group together, but the whole world now knows that he has failed.
He is blaming himself for the so sudden departure of his group from the music industry in South Korea, but he fails to understand that it's not only his responsibility, but also his members.
For sure, without a leader, the group is nothing, but without the members contributing to the group to reach the pinnacle of success, the group would fall down hard on the ground. He still to realize that in this case, one of his team members is more than fault than him for the disbandment.
And let's not forget, the higher you are, the harder you will fall.
.......
Feeling unappreciated? Hell yes, that's what she is feeling right now. No matter how much she does for him, no matter how much she tries to make him happy, he always has to find something negative in her actions.
Vanika sighs as she lays back comfortably on her bed. She is physically and mentally comfortable but not emotionally. She is emotionally exhausted but still has hopes for a better future. To her, situations can be bad, but you have to survive for the bright future awaiting you ahead.
'The world doesn't surround us, but our life definitely does.'
Working on the accords of the world is nothing new to her, but doing that whilst ignoring her own wishes and desires, is a big no to her. She has decided that no matter what happens, she will never let anyone rule her life. But lately, she realized that she is letting him rule her world, which is making her more frustrated than she already is.
When the sleep is close enough to engulf her in their arms, the sound of the ringing of her phone, wakes her up. Irritatingly, she grabs her phone from the nightstand to check who is calling her at such an ungodly hour.
After seeing the name displayed on her phone, her irritating expression soon changed into a Stoic one. Even though she didn't want to pick up the call. She knew that if she picked up and talked to him, her whole Sunday would get spoiled. But still, swiped the green circle upwards. She doesn't want to hide her real feelings anymore. She wants to get this done with, for real this time.
"Why aren't you coming to India on Christmas!?!"
She hates when people say hello or hi at the beginning of a call. That's basic courtesy. And him not doing it, even after knowing her well, should've also pained her a lot, but today, she feels nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only pain she is feeling is the pain of losing her love towards herself because of this person.
"My wor-"
"Yes Yes! I know! I know! Of course! Your work is important. For God's sake vanika!! I am important too. I am your boyfriend and not some friend. We haven't met each other for years now. Whenever I get holidays, you don't get one and when you get holidays, I have get the orders for transfer."
Her so-called boyfriend screams from the other side of the line while she keeps on staring at the blank wall with no emotions in her eyes.
Even after being in a relationship and having a boyfriend for 10 years, she never even once felt that she had a boyfriend until he called her or someone asked about him. It feels like all the feelings which she had for him have vaporized as time passed. And that made her realize that whatever they have in between them, right now, isn't love but just a bondage of promises they made.
They were in a long-distance relationship and both believed that it would work out if their love was true. But why does she feel so empty when she looks at him or at his pictures? Why does she no longer feel that kind of happiness when he calls her? Why does she feel those sparks of happiness and butterflies in her stomach when he says, 'I Love You'? This kind of love between them is so strange, that it makes her question herself every time.
Love isn't some temporary emotion, then why the hell does she feel nothing for him now? Was she really in love with him?
'Was she ever in love with him or with the idea of being in love with him...? Because all her so-called love for him is gone because he isn't the one. He isn't the one whom she is looking for.
She knows that he isn't the right person for her, but the promises they made together in the past, didn't let her say those three bitter words. Her subconscious mind knows what she is doing nothing wrong, but it takes courage to break a relationship when a person has tried so hard to fit into someone's life. She doesn't have that courage, but also she no longer wants to try or give their relationship another.
The promises which are already wasted, and they have no right to keep them together in this relationship, without any tint of love, trust and respect. Just disappointment and disappointment.
The silence fills up the room as she looks outside of her balcony. The other side of the phone also went silent as he was anticipating her answer. He is confident that she will, like always, come running back to him. But who will tell him that this moment isn't the 'always' moment he is thinking of?
Long ago, their stars stopped writing the script of their relationship. Their stars had separated, but their mortal feelings kept on dragging their ship. But that changed yesterday. That changed the moment her eyes locked with her neighbor's ink-like black eyes. Something which was unknown to her system, crawled into her veins. Finally, her conscious mind realized what she was doing totally wrong and how she should do something right now to prevent future mishaps.
His beautiful double-lid black eyes look at her with a mixture of shock and a little tint of amusement in them. Looking at them, she felt something weird and not-so-familiar kind of sensation in the pit of her heart.
Even though the surrounding atmosphere of her heart is tense, she threw a sweet smile at him which hit like an arrow to his heart, spreading the poison of an unknown emotion in his entire system. Looking at him, she didn't know from where or how she gathered courage, but she did. She utters those three bitter words, which their wasted promises kept them together for 10 freaking years. She utters those three bitter words so that they will stop wasting their time on each other thinking that the relationship can work out even when the truth is in front of them.
"Let's break up."
That's how she broke up her 10-year-old relationship because of the confidence she got after looking in a boy's eyes, whom she met only 48 hours before.
Her star has finally changed its direction, taken a U-turn and now, is driving the right road.
......…
"I am happy that you broke up with him. He wasn't the one for you. I hated him, because every time I asked you about him, you would tell me how he wants you to come back to India permanently. He never cared about what you want. What a jerky person he is!?!
It's your life. You will decide whether you have to stay in Canada or not. He had no right to force you. Your own family also don't have that right. Forget about your boyfriend.... I mean ex-boyfriend.
Also, block him or ignore his calls because now, he will do something which all boys have done PhD in: The Guilt Trapping.
Even though you are a psychiatrist and know much better about how guilt can be the worst weapon used in such situations, in the end, you are a naive and sensitive girl.
So listen to me and tell him to get lost. Wait, don't tell him that. Urghhh. Block him"
Tightly embracing her in a hug, tarika goes on talking and talking hoping that her words might give some comfort to the heartbroken girl. She hopes that the diss aimed towards her ex-boyfriend, will make her laugh. But little did she know, that the girl who she is giving the comfort too, is feeling nothing, but calmness.
About the guilt trap, she is partially right but not fully. Guilt trap is not just used by boys, but also by girls. She wants to tell tarika the same, but didn't have any energy to stop her and speak in between her rants.
"Tarika, how can you curse in front of Princess?"
When she is finally done with her dissing lecture, Vanika horrifiedly exclaimes and playfully glares at her. Tarika flashes a sheepish smile towards her.
She shakes her head in disbelief before lying down on her lap with tarika caressing her head. This calmness was satisfying, but soon it went away when a mischievous princess decides to bounce on her body.
Seeing her mother so softly caressing someone's head who was not hers, Vaidehi started sulking and throwing tantrums. She is jealous of her, so jealous that she starts tickling her after bouncing on her, hoping that she will get her head up from her mother's lap.
After teasing her cute little sulky Princess for a while, she gets up and goes inside her room, but not before kissing her princess and tarika goodbye.
When she is finally inside her room, she sighs and the smile which had been adorned on her face earlier because of those cute antics of her princess, was now flattened. The touchy emotions came running back to her. There Is no doubt that she is tired, not physically but mentally and emotionally.
'Did I take the right decision of letting him go...?'
This thought should have come earlier, before she said those three bitter words, but no, her dummy brain has to remind her of it now, when she can do nothing. And she isn't the kind of person who will go around begging for him to take her back into his life. She has a damn big full bag of self-respect.
These kinds of feelings are so damn frustrating and confusing. The effects of post-break-up are seriously worse even when there was no love involved, because it has become a habit. A deadly habit.
These changes which happened so suddenly were making her excited, excited about the upcoming future because she knew that she couldn't stop them and could only go with the flow. But with the excitement came fear too, fear for the upcoming future.
She hopes that she will get used to this change of not having a boyfriend. Oh boy! That sounded so wrong, but nevertheless, she can't deny the fact that it was partially the truth.
For so many years, when the love vaporized, she had been using her relationship with him as an advantage to stay ten feet away from all the boys. Her conscience never ever even once failed to remind her that she had a boyfriend when some boy tries to flirt with her. The boyfriend's reminding conscience indirectly helped her to stay away from a few problematic boys, but that also led her to let go some perfect boys too.
Her relationship was kind of a defensive mechanism for her to stay away from boys. It took her a very sweet long time to realize this and when she did, she couldn't break off her relationship because of all those promises.
She and her unlucky fate when it comes to love.
But little did she know that the change which she had brought in her life, would be the best decision she had ever taken in her life. She just had to take one step closer to meet with her Mr. Right. And how can she forget those words which she herself told one of her lady patients back in the time when she came up with a similar problem which she is facing right now?
"Among all the changes, the change of any kind of emotion into love, can be very tragic because... Everyone forgets this, but always remember..... Love, itself comes with a tragedy."