Bryce
I kept so busy with my family's business that I hardly talked to anyone. Not my best friend, Techno. Not even my boyfriend, Ben. That's a term I will have to get used to. All my life I have dated women, and now I'm in a relationship with Ben.
On my first day back home from school, my dad asked me what kind of friend he was.
"He ain't one of those narco kids, is he?" he asked.
"No," I answered him, "You've been watching too many shows on TV. He's a Computer science major, loves to game, he's annoyingly considerate. He's usually laid back, and always has a cool head, but if you piss him off then all hell breaks loose. He's also annoyingly stubborn. Like when I get hungry, he buys me food. Even when I tell him not to. He cleans up after me and when he does laundry, he offers to do mine as well."
"Sheesh," he said, "Sounds more like a wife than a friend."
If you only knew, pop. I thought to myself. "He's Hispanic, and in a band. Girls go crazy for him all the time."
"Seems like you and him are pretty close," he said, "You never talk about your other friends like that."
"Who says we're close," I asked my dad, trying not to reveal that I'm talking about my boyfriend, "I talk about my friends like that all the time."
"Right," he replied, "And yet, I don't know that much about your other friends. I don't know what Jack, Terry or Techno are studying for, or what they even look like. This new friend of yours must mean a lot to ya."
He does, but I can't tell you how much. I thought to myself again. After what happened to me, I don't know if they would accept me or blame my attacker for screwing me up so much that they would try to change me back. To be honest, I don't know how to accept myself but I hope that I can change that with the coming new year.
I kept busy with work since my family's usual employees are taking time off to spend the holidays with their family. My mom always insisted that the workers spend time with their families on the winter holidays and still managed to throw a Christmas party for the hotel staff.
I was literally everywhere the past few days, I was at the front desk, housekeeping, maintenance, even laundry.
"Son," my mother called out to me, "Take a breather. You're gonna wear yourself out before you have to go back."
"Ma," I replied, "There's a cold front coming in tonight and if it rains, rooms 11 and 12 are going to leak."
"Let the roofers take care of that tomorrow then, those rooms are vacant tonight."
"But ma…" I protested.
"Don't 'But Ma' me young man. You need to take a break. You've been working non-stop since you got here. Now come join me for some tea."
I followed my mom to the kitchen and there she had a pitcher of iced tea and some sugar cookies. And just like any other mother, she was concerned and knew that something was on my mind.
"Now," she said, "You wanna tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Bryce, honey," my mother said, "I'm your mother. And one thing I know as your mother is that when you're working like this, there's something on your mind."
"Nothing gets past you, huh?" I asked, "I don't know what to do mom. I have recently started a new chapter in my life so to speak, and it's something I have never done or even thought about before. And I'm not sure if I'm ready to embrace this new side of me. I don't even know how or where to begin. But just to put you at ease, it's not drugs, alcohol or gambling, it's just something new for me and I'm not sure if I can open up to anyone about it yet."
My mother nodded and just said, "Well sweetheart, usually with things like that, you just have to follow your heart. Whether it's something dealing with love, dreams, passions, anything in life for that matter. No one but you can decide what you do in life and no one should ever make you feel ashamed or inferior because of it. Whenever you're ready to tell us, we're here for you."
I didn't know if my mom sensed that I was talking about my future with Ben or if she thought I was planning on changing majors, but I did feel some comfort in my mother's words.
"Hey, Mrs Thomas," I heard a familiar voice call out, "Bryce! When did you get back?"
"Tom?!" I said, "How you been? It's been ages since we hung out."
Tom was my best friend in elementary school. We were in the same class until my ordeal. I didn't see him very often since I was sent to Dallas and occasionally come back here to visit. But he has been around me enough to know of my prejudice.
One summer, Tom and I were walking through Audubon Park and we walked past a gay couple holding hands. I still remember my words, "Disgusting fags. Why do they have to parade their sick perversion around like they're proud of it? They should all burn in hell."
Tom would always stay quiet and it bothered him whenever I had one of those outbursts. "You really shouldn't say stuff like that."
"It's the truth," I would say to him, "They're all evil, child molesting perverts who deserve to die!"
Tom said nothing and just walked away from me. He has refused to speak to me since that day.
"Yes," he said, "It's been a long time." He was cold towards me. "My mama asked me to bring these gifts for you."
"Oh thanks dear," my mother said, "You're all coming to the Christmas party."
"My parents will be there," he said, then looked at me, "I don't know if I can though."
"Well," my mother said, "If you can, you're more than welcome to."
"Thank you, Mrs Thomas," he said to her, "I'll show myself out, thank you."
I stood up and rushed to his side, "Don't be ridiculous. Let me walk you out, and catch up."
Tom didn't seem all too happy about it, but to save face he dare not refuse. Once we were outside, I asked him, "Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not avoiding you," Tom said, "I'm just super busy."
"I know you well enough to know when you're lying to me." I said plainly.
"Fine," Tom said, "I am staying away from you, because you hate people like me."
"You mean.."
"Yes, Bryce," he said to me, "I'm gay. And I know this'll destroy our friendship, so I figured, the less we see each other, the better."
He turned around to leave but I grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry."
"I have been wanting to tell you for a long time," Tom said, "But every time gay people encounter you, you say such hateful things. And every time I heard you say those things, I wanted to tell you to shut up. We're not evil, we're not sick. Just because that asshole hurt us, doesn't make all gay people like him."
What he said surprised me. "What do you mean?"
"You weren't the only one he molested," Tom said, breaking down like I did when I told Ben, "I wanted to tell you that you were not alone in that. But you disappeared shortly after, and when you came back you were saying those things about my people. I wanted my best friend to accept me for who I am. But I guess it's too much to ask."
Watching Tom bare his heart and soul to me like I did to Ben, made me realize that I was no longer that hateful, ignorant jerk anymore. I put my arm around him. "I'm sorry I hurt you all those times." I told him.
He leaned his head on my shoulder. "I was hoping never to tell you, but everyone knows that I have a boyfriend thanks to my mom."
"You're not the only one," I pulled out my phone and opened a candid photo of Ben on my phone, "Just don't tell anyone, not even our moms."
"Is that your…?"
I nodded and said, "It's all new to me so I don't know what to do sometimes."
"So what changed your whole 'All gay people are evil' view?" asked Tom.
"He did," I answered, "I was such an asshole to him, but he never stopped being so nice and kind to me. One day, I almost died and the one guy I did not want to help me, did. He saved my life. Since then, I started seeing that gay people aren't all bad. Some like him are good."
"So," Tom asked, "Are we friends again?"
I looked him straight in the eye and told him, "We never stopped."
Tom and I talked some more in the days to come and I did get to meet Allen, Tom's boyfriend. They did ask when I came to visit again to bring Ben.
As Christmas was approaching, there was someone I missed more than I cared to admit.