It's time to strategize.
I've borrowed Ledger's sanctuary for this moment, given the fact he has both more space and more access to resources. If I start plotting things out in my office, I don't doubt someone will stumble upon it and create a scene asking questions, or reporting to Papa. I use the unused flipside of Ledger's white board to write my ideas as they come along.
Every good plan is sectionable into five parts. In order to create a plan, I need a clear goal. This is, surprisingly, the hardest part. What is it that I want exactly? I sit and spin circles in the office chair, taking advantage of the fact it's sat a bit too high for me to dangle my legs.
What I want is to keep Ledger by my side and live out a happy fairytale marriage. The odds of this happening? Practically zero. As much as I enjoy Ledger, it's undeniable that his attitude towards me will shift after he achieves his goals. I'll be cast aside and discarded, just as everyone else is when Ledger grows bored of them.
Ledger's goal? Kill Papa. I guarantee there's more to it than just that, but it ultimately boils down to killing him. It sounds like Papa stiffed Ledger in a deal or embarrassed him in some way, and now it's a battle of ego. This is the kind of thing that can potentially be changed by creating high value from Papa in some manner. Perhaps I can use myself as leverage? Ledger's other goal is to get in good with the royal family, and the more I strengthen our relationship in the eyes of the public the more this benefits his goal. If my public perception is of a loving and doting wife, then I can easily tear down Ledger's public image if he breaks things off.
It's cruel, but there's little place for morality when people's lives are on the line. Papa and I have similar goals, and that's to keep Ledger in check. It's only natural to use the tools at my disposal to achieve such goals. If Ledger can't disparage me or our relationship publicly, I can protect Papa through that. The matter of Ledger wanting children and Papa only allowing it if they're an orca is complicated, but I'm certain I can come up with a remedy in the timeframe I have. I'm certainly not going to kill my own hypothetical child, not even if Papa demands it.
I pause, staring blankly at the whiteboard and the mess I've made of it already. Why am I protecting Papa?
I step back, falling into the chair again, a sudden realization hitting. Papa will never love me, Ledger's feelings may escape me at any moment. But a child is something that would be mine. A child would be proof of my existence, someone who would depend on me and hopefully be as loyal to me as I am to Papa.
Tears trickle down my cheeks, insanity clearly taking hold of me. There's no way I could take care of a child. There's no way Papa would allow it, there's no way Ledger would let go of it. I'd be dooming an innocent soul to eternal torment. But, I so desperately don't want to be alone.
After getting a few minutes of self pity out of the way, I spring back up to the board. My goal will be the preservation of my own happiness. At the end of the day I want everyone to live and everyone to be happy, so it's mutually beneficial. Perhaps it's a lofty one, but I decide to aim for it regardless.
What next? I look the board up and down. Tasks of the actionable sort. I can set the public perception of Ledger and I's relationship, research ways to rig the species of a child from birth, and keep Papa placated. I should begin to forge stronger relationships within both Killer Media and WHITEOUT, ensuring I have goodwill and favors stockpiled should I need to do something underhanded. Additionally, as a backup plan, perhaps I should look into discretely purchasing property I can flee to if things do go South. I'm not traditionally one to run away from my problems, but if a child is involved I should plan accordingly. Even without a child, there's the distinct possibility that Papa or Ledger turn against me, and I can't imagine either of them sticking their necks out for me to protect me from the other.
Resources, deadlines, and monitoring. I plot the course for a brighter future, doing a few victory spins in Ledger's chair. As much as I'd like to take a peek at his files now that I have downtime, his desk is locked and I'm left without much to do.
I turn over in the chair, glaring at the wardrobe and nightstands behind me. Perhaps I could study up on his… interests. I kick off the floor and scoot the chair closer to the wardrobe, hiding behind the back as I crack it open carefully. Delicately I sort through garments of every variety. Some of these could hardly be considered garments. There are a plethora of strappy dresses, maid outfits, outfits made of latex with checker print. Some of them are clearly fitted for men, and I'm not certain if it's Ledger or his bedfellows that have been wearing them.
At the bottom of the wardrobe are various blindfolds, ballgags, and other frightening sights. Perhaps it's good mental preparation for the nightstands. Speaking of which, I scoot forward and peek into one of the drawers. There's terrifyingly shaped protruding objects of every shape, every size. In the drawer below I find vials of various liquids, pump bottles with various flavors marked on them in italic letters.
Carefully I slip the drawer closed again, moving now to examine the top drawer once more. I pick up and examine one of the objects, pressing the power button and flinching when a pink tentacle begins to whip around violently. When it falls from my hand in my brief episode of panic I scramble out of my chair after it, throwing it back in the drawer without turning it off and shutting it tight. It thuds and whirs loudly from its chamber.
Maybe no more touching things.