Keith Finally Snaps — "Nope. I'm Not Fixing This."
Hermione had begged.
Students spread rumors.
Ron was signing autographs on napkins.
Neville was trying to "sense magic like a chosen one."
Seamus was carving "I BLEW UP EVIL" into his school trunk.
Keith stood in the middle of the chaos and whispered:
Keith:
"…Nope. Not happening. I'm not fixing this."
Rias patted his shoulder sympathetically.
RON'S GREATEST CRIME: HE'S WRITING A BOOK
Later that day, Keith walked past Ron in the common hallway.
Ron was proudly scribbling into a big notebook titled:
**"RONALD WEASLEY: SLAYER OF THE DARK ONE
The Official Autobiography"**
The subtitle read:
"Preface by Neville Longbottom"
Keith stopped.
Turned around.
Walked back.
Looked at the title again.
Then whispered:
Keith:
"…McGonagall. Please help."
McGonagall: BEGGING MODE ACTIVATED
Professor McGonagall intercepted Keith at the next corner like a desperate parent catching a babysitter.
Her bun looked more stressed than ever.
McGonagall:
"Mr. Runcandel… please.
PLEASE knock some sense into them.
They claim they defeated You-Know-Who!
Ron tried to sign my tartan hat!"
Keith sighed.
Keith:
"…That's unforgivable."
McGonagall (dead serious):
"It IS."
She clasped his shoulders.
McGonagall:
"I am begging you.
Do something. Anything."
Keith closed his eyes.
Then nodded.
Keith:
"Alright, Professor.
But it'll be… unconventional."
McGonagall didn't care at this point.
McGonagall:
"Unconventional is fine.
Just STOP THEM."
Operation: Reality Check
Keith entered the Great Hall.
His voice echoed across the chamber:
Keith:
"Everyone except Professors, Ron, Neville, and Seamus—
out."
The whole student body didn't even ask questions.
They stampeded out instantly.
Within moments, only:
Keith Snape McGonagall Flitwick Sprout Ron Neville Seamus
remained.
The Trio sat proudly, expecting applause.
Keith raised his hand.
The room dimmed.
A shadow rippled behind him.
Keith:
"Darkrai."
DARKRAI APPEARS — ALL PROFESSORS GO PALE
From Keith's shadow, Darkrai rose silently.
Tall.
Cold.
Nightmare incarnate.
Every professor stiffened.
Flitwick:
"Sweet Helga—!"
Sprout:
"I-I-is that—?"
Snape (softly):
"…An actual nightmare god."
Neville screamed.
Ron paled.
Seamus fainted early—as usual.
Keith pointed calmly at the trio.
Keith:
"Give them nightmares.
The REAL version of what happened.
Make them relive every danger they should have died from."
Darkrai nodded slowly.
Darkrai:
"As you command… Master."
Ron squeaked.
DARKRAI'S NIGHTMARE JUSTICE
Darkrai glided forward, touching each boy's forehead lightly.
Ron collapsed instantly.
Neville toppled backward over a bench.
Seamus went limp like a scarecrow.
The three entered deep, terrifying nightmare visions of:
the troll the forest the chess room Quirrell and Voldemort…
Not heroic versions.
The truth.
For the first time in history…
Ron Weasley experienced actual IQ.
Keith Adds One Condition
As the trio lay twitching on the floor, Keith added:
Keith:
"Oh, right.
Remove any memory of Darkrai's presence."
Darkrai nodded.
A ripple of shadow erased his image from their minds.
The nightmares remained.
His existence did not.
Professional work.
🚑 Professors React
Darkrai vanished.
Silence.
Then—
Flitwick:
"…Well. That solves THAT."
Sprout:
"They'll be alright… right?"
Keith:
"…Probably."
Snape:
"Acceptable."
Keith gestured at the unconscious trio.
Keith:
"Take them to the Hospital Wing.
They'll wake up smarter."
McGonagall actually sighed in relief.
McGonagall:
"Bless you, Mr. Runcandel.
You may have saved Hogwarts."