(POV: Zara)
Lagos, 2025.
Boxes still piled up by the door when Mama looked at me like I owed her a whole lifetime.
"Zara. Water don finish. Move."
That tone… the kind that means if I'm late by even five seconds, my knees will regret being born. Dad panicked instantly. He went into emergency mode—grabbed the cap, patted my head, voice trembling.
"Oya go quick-quick, my baby. You know your mama… once she shout like this, trouble don start."
I didn't even get to say,
'I'm not a baby…'
Mama shoved the jerrycan into my hands so hard my arms started shaking. I ran out of the alley with resigned steps.
Outside felt like a small war. Fry vendors yelling. Oil popping. Kids dancing. People arguing with veins popping out. But that wasn't the most interesting thing.
In the middle of the narrow alley, a bunch of guys—probably SS2–SS3—stood blocking the way, arguing with a sexy girl in a tight skirt, heavy makeup, and a full-on 'I-will-bite-you' aura.
The boys were yelling while pointing at her.
"Heeeey fine geh you dey form?! Abeg stand here nau!"
"Omo see attitude!"
"Na small compliment we give you o!"
The girl shot back:
"Will you shift?! I no get time for una nonsense!"
I just wanted to pass. The jerrycan got heavier. And Mama at home got scarier with every passing second. So I tried the polite way first.
"Excuse me… can I pass?"
Nobody heard me.
Or more precisely:
They were too busy holding a national debate on 'who's acting too pretty. I tried again, a little louder.
"Abeg shift small make person pass."
Still ignored.
I had tried being nice.
And the clock in my head started ticking:
MAMA MODE: COUNTDOWN 3… 2… 1…
Okay.
Enough.
I stepped back. Took a breath. I locked my eyes on the right wall.
Shifted the jerrycan to my left hand. Right foot up the wall—
THAP.
Left foot followed—
WHUP.
The world paused. The boys all looked up at the same time.
"Aaaaah?! See this geh o! She dey climb wall?!"
"Omo who be this geh? She get power o…"
"Jesus carry me oh!"
I sprinted two steps along the wall and landed on one guy's shoulder without asking. He almost collapsed from shock. I crossed their circle through the air like a movie stunt. Landed smoothly right behind the girl they were harassing.
The girl gaped:
"…Sister, how you do that?!"
I just lifted the jerrycan.
"If Im Late, Mama kill Me Here!! "
Then walked off. Filled the water. Paid. Returned.
Calm? Of course not.
The alley now looked like a royal welcome ceremony. The three boys stood lined up like soldiers summoned by a King. The moment I appeared, they bowed deeply. The biggest one spoke first:
"Aunty Superstar… abeg… teach us."
I froze.
"…Whaaattt ?!"
"Please teach us that thing you do—"
He pointed at the wall. Then at my foot. Then at himself.
"—that… flying-wall-walk-jump-something. Abeg."
The others nodded so fast they nearly head-butted each other.
"Show us nau! Abeg!"
"Aunty Superstar, we are ready to be loyal!"
I wanted to slam the jerrycan into the ground.
Na Pass I Wan Pass! Una Dey Craze?!
Too late.
They immediately followed behind me… like discounted bodyguards.
I walked fast. They walked fast.
I stopped. They stopped.
They stopped so close they almost crashed into my back.
"Fu*k Off!! Stop following me!" I said.
Their leader answered,
"We no fit stop, Aunty Superstar. Na destiny."
I wanted to faint. But the suffering had only begun. My Dad holding a pot and looking like he was about to have a stroke, stared at them.
"Who are these boys?! Zara! Did you join a cult?!"
My Mama came out carrying a huge box with one hand. Her gaze swept across them like an X-ray scanner.
The boys froze. Completely stiff. But still bowed respectfully.
"Good evening, Ma!"
"Ma! We dey greet you, Ma!"
"Ma please no vex—"
Mama didn't care. She patted the big box in her hand.
"You these young men—oya, if you have mouth to shout, you have hand to carry! Bring that box inside!"
They—like they had just been struck by the angel of productivity—moved instantly. Fast.
Carrying stuff left and right.
Tying up wardrobes.
Lifting sofas.
They exhaled like racing horses.
Dad looked at me while handing me a cold drink.
"Sit, sit, sweetheart. Let them die. Maybe this is their fate."
Mama glared at me, like she was about to scold me for not helping. But before she could say a word…the boys swarmed around Mama.
"Ma need help?"
"Ma let us do it!"
"Ma rest small, abeg!"
"Ma! No worry we dey here!"
"Aunty Superstar no fit carry heavy load!"
"We protect her, ma!"
"We wan join training!"
Mama frowned.
"Training?"
Then they all shouted in unison:
"YES MA!!! WE WANT AUNTY SUPERSTAR TO TRAIN US!!!"
I wanted to disappear.
Or migrate to another Country.
—To be continued—