Two in the afternoon.
In a private hospital room, someone drew back the curtains.
Sunlight flooded every corner of the room.
Yet this bright and refreshing sunshine, that would delight any green plant, could not dispel the darkness weighing on a human heart.
The brown-haired boy lying motionless in bed stirred his eyelashes slightly but did not open his eyes.
Asou Akiya walked to the bedside and looked down at Tsushima Shuuji, whose breathing was so faint it was barely perceptible.
Meanwhile, Randou sat gracefully in the visitor's chair, peeling an apple. At his feet rested a shopping bag containing children's clothes to replace the hospital gown.
The two of them had truly spared no effort.
Back when it had been Edogawa Ranpo and Nakahara Chuuya, Randou had never been this attentive.
Who could blame him? When the doctor had carried the child out, he looked just like a despairing little Akiya.
Randou simply couldn't bear to watch a child with such limitless potential meet such an end.
As long as he survived, Randou felt he could tolerate a third cat joining the household. After all, he and Akiya would never have children of their own.
The IV line was connected to Tsushima Shuuji's uninjured hand. Drop by drop, the cold fluid flowed into his body, replenishing the blood and nutrients he had lost.
Slitting one's wrists.
It was one of the methods many people chose for their first suicide attempt.
Imitation was a child's instinct, but it was also a behavior that desperately needed guidance.
Asou Akiya was certain that Shuuji had either read about it in a book or overheard servants gossiping about it. No one had ever told him it was wrong, and so the idea had taken root in the deepest, most hidden corner of his heart.
Until this time... it finally detonated the buried landmine.
"Shuuji, you're free now. There's no reason for you to go down with this family."
Asou Akiya adjusted the IV tube that had become bent, carefully straightening it before gently resting his palm over the back of the brown-haired boy's hand, where the needle was inserted. He didn't dare apply any pressure. He simply wanted the warmth of his hand to seep through.
"Are you trying to get revenge on me and Tatsuhiko?"
"Do you hate us the same way you hate the Tsushima family because we interfered with your life?"
"I admit, what I did went against your wishes. Maybe the eleven-year-old you had already been planning how to escape the Tsushima family, maybe you could have changed your future through your own strength. But you were still just a child. You'd been hurt so badly that you'd even forgotten how to cry. How was I supposed to stand by and do nothing?"
"I thought that seven years later, I'd meet a lively, mischievous Shuuji. Someone who could bicker with Tatsuhiko, someone capable of keeping that arrogant boy in check. That's why I arranged for the two of you to meet."
"But what did I actually see?"
"The you who, in my eyes, believed could outshine Tatsuhiko, looked like he was about to shatter."
A heavy weight settled in Asou Akiya's chest.
A chance encounter that should have been a blessing had brought nothing but the opposite, leaving the child who loved freedom in his eyes to sink deeper into despair with each passing day.
Fortune and misfortune were things no one could ever predict.
"You've bitten me, and you've hated me. But the misunderstandings between us can be untangled little by little. I'm willing to spend as much time as it takes to earn your forgiveness. Who do you think you're getting revenge on by doing this?"
"The only people you're hurting... are the ones who care about you."
Asou Akiya gently lifted the boy's hand. It was still small, nowhere near the long, elegant hands of an adult.
Only someone who had crossed through time knew that one day those hands would grow into the hands of a strikingly handsome young man, deft enough to strike stylish poses one moment and pull ridiculous antics the next.
With the hands of an elder, he enclosed the child's tiny hand within his own.
"You can't get revenge on anyone."
Asou Akiya's voice carried a steadiness rarely found in someone only in his twenties, though beneath that calm lay bitterness and self-reproach. When he had warned Shibusawa Tatsuhiko to watch for any signs of suicide, it had merely been a precaution. After all, Tsushima Shuuji's skin had been smooth and pale, unmarked by even the faintest scar.
Now, however...
Scars were inevitable.
Little by little, bandages would come to wrap around the child's skin, concealing wound after wound.
At some point, those kite-colored eyes had opened. Instead of looking at Asou Akiya, Shuuji turned his head on the pillow and gazed out at the beautiful world beyond the window, where the weather was bright and clear.
"I hate you. Looking at you makes me want to throw up. Don't flatter yourself."
"Why give up your life?"
"Mind your own business."
"Why not go outside and see more of the world?"
"You're so annoying."
"Do you enjoy novels? If you went to Yokohama, you could even meet the people who wrote them."
"I'm not interested."
"Then what about supernatural abilities? Don't you want to meet more ability users?"
"No."
No matter how many temptations or reasons Asou Akiya offered, Tsushima Shuuji rejected every single one. Compared to the world-weary Shibusawa Tatsuhiko, Shuuji's condition was even more severe.
Listening quietly to their exchange, Randou found his feelings unexpectedly complicated as he watched Akiya continue trying, refusing to give up.
He really was the ideal older brother... the ideal father.
Any child fortunate enough to have a family like that would surely grow up happy.
Akiya... You really love kids, don't you?
"I can make crab rice. Chinese seafood dishes, Western seafood feasts—even Indian-style crab curry is no problem."
"I don't want to eat anything. Stay away from me."
Tsushima Shuuji didn't want to hear another word. He tried to pull the blanket over his ears, but one of his hands was still being held by Asou Akiya, while the other had been anesthetized and stitched up, leaving him too weak to lift it.
The blood loss had drained his strength, leaving his entire body limp and powerless.
"If you don't want to hear that, then let me tell you something you might actually listen to," Asou Akiya said. "Slitting your wrists is an extremely painful way to die. It usually takes multiple cuts before you reach the artery, and once the blood starts clotting, you have to cut again. If someone truly intends to kill themselves, they cut lengthwise along the blood vessel."
Shuuji's kite-colored eyes snapped toward him.
Asou Akiya refused to let him look away.
"Look at me. Is that really how you want to die?"
Shuuji frowned in confusion. "You're a strange person. I have the right to choose death, don't I? You don't have to feel guilty. Once I'm dead, you'll be able to go back to living your own life in peace."
"You're already doing well."
Almost unconsciously, Shuuji's gaze drifted upward and to the side. Years of being confined had left him unable to maintain eye contact with others for long. "You're wearing much nicer clothes than before. Your hair's been properly taken care of. You have a lover who cares about you, and even the young master of the Shibusawa family is your student. There's no reason for you to keep worrying about me."
"My ability... It doesn't really mean anything to you anymore, does it?"
An adult who could survive without relying on his power was someone Tsushima Shuuji had only ever encountered in books.
Someone confident.
Someone composed.
Someone who seemed to shine with the vitality of life itself.
Nothing like him.
After losing the roots that had tied him to his family, he could no longer find any reason to keep living.
Drowsiness gradually overtook Tsushima Shuuji. Speaking listlessly, he murmured, "Shibusawa Tatsuhiko compared me to a canary in a cage. I know he's right, I really am like a little bird. But even without a cage, I still wouldn't want to fly away. The world outside isn't much better than home. Those nobles and powerful people would still only see me as a tool."
"If you never even try, what gives you the right to decide that!" Suddenly, Asou Akiya raised his voice in a sharp rebuke.
The abrupt shout rang in Shuuji's ears. He instinctively shrank his neck, his pointed ears giving a slight tremble.
Asou Akiya immediately reached over and gently rubbed his ear. "You're a clever child, but children who mature too early are the ones most easily hurt. You see far more darkness and ugliness than your peers, and because of that, you've lost the ability to trust the world."
At times like this, it would have been far happier to be an ordinary little fool.
"Just... try trusting the people outside, if only once."
"You're not a canary. You could be a nimble cat, a slippery little fish, or even a patch of wild grass growing wherever it pleases. Your will to live is far stronger than you think."
"Most children would have long since stopped resisting."
"But you haven't."
"Your soul is fighting to survive."
"Instead of withering away in some forgotten corner, why not bloom just once?"
Asou Akiya did everything he could to reach him.
"I won't bind you. All right? Find any reason to keep living—any reason at all. Let it carry you out into the world and walk you through it. See it with your own eyes. Live until you're an adult, and only then decide whether your life is worth continuing."
Shuuji finally snapped. "Something that painful? No thanks."
Asou Akiya fell silent.
The constant stream of words by Shuuji's ear suddenly disappeared, leaving behind an unfamiliar stillness. Unable to resist, he stole a glance at the black-haired young man.
Why...
Why did his eyes look so unbearably sad?
What was there to be sad about?
If you didn't want to live, then just die. That way, you no longer had to keep struggling.
"What if... living could lead you to something that makes you happy?" Asou Akiya took a deep breath. "Do you remember the day we first met? Were you happy then?"
The light in Tsushima Shuuji's eyes dimmed.
Back then, those brief moments of innocence and freedom had been happy.
But how could he ever return to the past?
"You can." Asou Akiya forced a smile. "This world is far more extraordinary than you imagine. There are surgeries—or abilities—that can erase a person's memories. There are organs that, once removed, take all the pain with them. There are abilities that can turn back time, there are monsters that live forever and countless things beyond anything you've ever imagined..."
Unaware of the complexity of No Longer Human, Tsushima Shuuji found himself listening intently.
"As long as you keep searching... as long as you do your best to stay alive... you'll find a miracle."
Asou Akiya exaggerated the wonders of this world's supernatural side with complete confidence. As for what the future actually held—unless Tsushima Shuuji turned the entire world upside down himself, no one would ever be able to prove he was bluffing.
Even Randou was left dazed by everything he was hearing.
Is this really the same world I know?
Akiya, you've never bragged to me like this before!
That's not fair!
Shuuji couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, yet Akiya spoke with such conviction, his eyes so sincere they seemed to reveal his very soul, desperately trying to rekindle Shuuji's will to live.
"...You aren't lying to me? The outside world is really that interesting?"
"I would never lie to you."
He was right.
This man had never lied to him.
His own family had concealed his supernatural ability from him, wanting nothing more than to keep him imprisoned at their side. Only that black-haired older brother he had met as a child had told him he possessed the greatest of powers, smiling as he escorted him home, already looking forward to his future from so many years ago.
Seven years had passed.
This person had come to take him away after all. He hadn't stood by and watched him fall into the abyss.
Tsushima Shuuji's gaze wavered. Unable to hold it back any longer, he asked the final question that had lingered since childhood.
"Does this world have Santa Claus?"
"It does."
A smile spread across Asou Akiya's face as he made up for the piece of childhood the child stepping out of his cage and into the outside world had lost.
This was perhaps the purest moment of Tsushima Shuuji's life before entering adolescence.
"Not only is there a Santa Claus—there are even gods in this world. And the gods will protect you."
"Everything passes."
"You'll find happiness."
...
"No Longer Human"
Everything passes.
That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.
— Dazai Osamu.
—
TL Note:
Oh, btw, I also post these translations on AO3. If you'd rather read them there, feel free to check them out! The formatting is much better over there since I can actually format the text properly.