I used to believe in love and in those so-called high-school sweethearts—until I caught Enny cheating on me.
It was an ordinary winter in July when it happened. I had borrowed my sister's car and driven to Westgate Town, a six-hour trip from Astras, my own hometown.
With the car heater humming, I drove through the snow, already imagining all the hugs and the catching-up we'd do once I arrived.
Enny had been my girlfriend since high school. When we entered college, our love finally became serious.
We introduced each other to our parents, but she had to attend a different college in another city—much more expensive, since her family was rich.
Mine wasn't; Dad left when l was just a year old, and Mom took care of me and my sister, who's a year older than me all by herself.
This wasn't my first time visiting Enny, so I didn't need directions.
After hours of driving, I finally arrived at her college. I parked my sister's car and stepped out into the cold, pulling on my beanie and long black coat.
I headed toward Enny's cottage room and stopped right at her door.
I was nervous to knock. Lately, we'd been fighting nonstop over the phone, and she'd even switch it off at times, not wanting to talk to me.
That was exactly why I'd come, to talk face-to-face, fix things, and hopefully get back on good terms.
That's when I heard it: the familiar sound of Enny moaning from inside.
My brows tightened. My heart sank.
"Could it be Enny having sex with someone else? No… it wouldn't be." I tried to reassure myself. "Maybe she's just… masturbating or something."
After all, it had been nearly two months since we last did anything.
But then I heard her moans mixing with a man's low grunts, and my knees went weak.
I stood there like an idiot, listening to my own girlfriend moan and beg some guy to fuck her harder.
It felt like a nightmare, except it wasn't. It was real.
My throat went dry.
Should I leave? Or should l confront her?
I didn't know what to do. I loved Enny so much that the thought of losing her terrified me.
I didn't want to let go of our four years together just like that. If I pretended I didn't hear anything… maybe I could still keep the relationship.
But I couldn't walk away. A part of me refused to believe it. Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe it was one of her friends.
I grabbed the doorknob and twisted. It wasn't even locked.
I peeked inside and what I saw shattered my heart into a million un-healable pieces.
Enny was on her bed with a leech collar strapped around her neck, its chain held by some skinny, tall guy with a scorpion tattoo on his arm.
He was smoking, the room thick with smoke while he fucked Enny from behind, his ass clenched tight as he moved.
Enny was moaning like a bitch, getting fucked in the most degrading way possible. The guy smacked her ass, and she moaned louder, her butt shaking, back aching harder.
Rage bubbled up in my chest, but I gritted my teeth and unclenched my fists.
I knew if I stepped inside that room, I'd do something I'd regret—something that would probably land me in jail.
So I retreated. Quietly. Feeling like a complete idiot as I walked back to the car.
By the time I reached it, tears were already spilling down my face.
"What a fucking whore!" I kicked the car wheel several times, ignoring the pain. It was nothing compared to the pain inside my chest.
That whore. That fucking bitch. How could she?
How could she throw away everything we had just to get fucked like some senseless toy by a tattooed guy who looked like a struggling gangster?
I got into the car and slammed my hand against the steering wheel to release the rage.
At some point, I started chuckling dryly at my own stupidity.
The signs were there. I should've seen them. But I was blinded by "love."
High-school sweethearts—what a joke.
All this time we were fighting over small things, and I kept forcing conversations. It was probably because she had already started cheating.
She wasn't the innocent girl I thought she was. I always made love to her gently, like we were in some romance movie, penetrating her slow, careful and tender. Thought I was being a gentleman.
Turns out she wanted to be choked, collared, and smacked. What a fucking bitch!
The more I thought about it, the more my heart sank. I needed to drive home. Away from here. Away from her.
I thought about the four-hour drive back in the middle of the night. I needed to cool off first.
I drove to a local bar most college students used.
It was around 9 p.m. when I walked in and sat at the counter.
The bartender asked what I wanted. I told him, "Give me something that'll knock me out."
My shoulders were slumped. My eyes were dead.
He slid me a glass with brown liquor and two ice blocks.
I gulped it down, feeling it burn my throat.
Strong, but perfect for numbing a cold, and my bitter heart.
I drank more and more, using all the money I'd saved to spend with Enny this weekend. Money from my part-time job.
As the alcohol settled in, darker thoughts began creeping up. Why was I even alive?
When dad left, I always thought I'd grow up and take his place as the provider for the family.
But my sister beat me to it. She even bought the car I was borrowing.
I was good at nothing. A disappointment. I couldn't even maintain a healthy relationship with the only girl l ever loved.
After a few more drinks, the bartender refused to pour me another.
"Go home, young man. You're wasted," he said.
I glared at him. "Fuck you too," I muttered, trying to stand as curses slipped from my mouth.
My head felt heavy. My walk was unstable, like a newborn deer, but I somehow made it outside.
Everyone was staring as I cursed and stumbled out.
I fumbled for the car keys in my pocket, got into the driver's seat, and started the engine.
Couldn't even put the damn seatbelt on. All I could think about was going home, and bury myself in my misery.
Weirdly, I suddenly felt like the best driver in the world—as if I could make my own Fast and Heartbroken movie.
Gripping the steering wheel, I sped off toward Astras. I blasted loud music and started dancing as I drove, overtaking cars recklessly.
Then I made a fatal mistake of crossing while the traffic light was red.
I didn't see the truck coming from the right.
All I heard was the honk and saw the blinding lights before it slammed into me.
Pain shot through my body. I could feel myself dying.
But before death could take me, everything around me faded. The world shifted into a silent red space. No cars. No crash. No traffic lights.
Just an empty, red void.
And then something appeared, something that made me question whether I was hallucinating from the alcohol… or if I was already dead and standing in some hellish afterlife.
TBC