[SYSTEM STATUS UPDATE]
[HOST: MARCUS CHEN]
[POWER LEVEL: 945]
[TIME IN NEW WORLD: 3 DAYS]
[BRAIN CELLS: STILL SEARCHING...]
[FRIENDS MADE: 2 (MR. WHISKERS, "MR. GREEN")]
[ACTUAL FRIENDS: 1 (MR. WHISKERS)]
[PICCOLO'S BLOOD PRESSURE: DANGEROUSLY HIGH]
Three days had passed since Marcus's arrival in the Dragon Ball universe, and he had accomplished absolutely nothing of importance.
This was, of course, perfect for the System.
Marcus had spent his time wandering the wilderness, having one-sided conversations with Mr. Whiskers, trying to pet increasingly dangerous animals (all of which submitted to him out of primal fear they didn't understand), and wondering aloud about various philosophical questions like "If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does it make a sound? Also, what's a forest? Is this a forest? I've been calling it a forest but I'm not actually sure."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS QUESTIONED THE DEFINITION OF BASIC GEOGRAPHY!]
[+5 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 945 → 950]
His power level had been climbing steadily, even during mundane activities. Yesterday, he'd earned 30 points just by trying to start a fire, failing spectacularly, and then asking Mr. Whiskers if tigers could breathe fire "like in the movies."
Mr. Whiskers could not breathe fire.
Mr. Whiskers was also beginning to develop what future veterinarians would diagnose as "existential exhaustion."
On the morning of the fourth day, Marcus emerged from the cave he'd been sleeping in (he'd wandered into it thinking it was a "nature hotel") and stretched his arms wide.
"Good morning, world!" he announced to no one. "Today feels like a good day! I don't know why, but I have this feeling that something exciting is going to happen!"
[THE SYSTEM WOULD LIKE TO CONFIRM THAT SOMETHING IS INDEED ABOUT TO HAPPEN.]
[WHETHER IT'S "EXCITING" OR "CATASTROPHIC" REMAINS TO BE SEEN.]
[WITH YOU, IT'S USUALLY BOTH.]
Mr. Whiskers yawned and padded out behind him. The tiger had lost about fifteen pounds in the last three days, not because of lack of food, but because stress-related weight loss was apparently a thing for apex predators who'd been demoted to "emotional support animal."
"Come on, Mr. Whiskers! Let's go find some breakfast! I wonder if they have IHOP in this world. I could really go for some pancakes. Do you like pancakes? I feel like you'd like pancakes. They're round and flat, kind of like your face—wait, that came out wrong. Your face isn't flat. It's very... tiger-shaped."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS INSULTED HIS ONLY FRIEND AND THEN MADE IT WORSE!]
[+10 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 950 → 960]
Mr. Whiskers made a sound that roughly translated to "I used to be feared."
They walked for about an hour, Marcus chatting aimlessly about his old life, his thoughts on various breakfast foods, and his theory that clouds were "just sky cotton candy that got too wet to eat."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTOOD METEOROLOGY!]
[+8 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 960 → 968]
And then they heard it.
BOOM.
CRASH.
"HAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The sounds of combat echoed through the mountains, accompanied by flashes of light that lit up the morning sky like fireworks.
Any sane person would run away.
Marcus, naturally, ran toward it.
"Ooh! Mr. Whiskers, do you hear that? Someone's having a party! With fireworks! Let's go check it out!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS MISTAKEN DEADLY COMBAT FOR A CELEBRATION!]
[+25 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 968 → 993]
Mr. Whiskers tried to grab Marcus's gi with his teeth to stop him, but Marcus was already sprinting toward the explosions with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever who'd spotted a tennis ball.
In a clearing ahead, two figures clashed with enough force to shatter mountains.
Son Goku, Earth's greatest hero, was in the middle of an intense sparring session with Piccolo. Ever since their temporary alliance against Raditz (which hadn't happened yet in this timeline, but they'd recently started training together after Goku had convinced Piccolo that "fighting together is more fun than fighting each other"), the two had been pushing each other to new heights.
Goku launched a flurry of punches that Piccolo deflected with his forearms, then countered with a spinning kick that Goku ducked under.
"You're getting faster, Piccolo!" Goku said with his characteristic grin.
"Save your compliments," Piccolo growled, though there was less venom in it than there used to be. "I'm still going to surpass you."
"That's the spirit!"
They separated, both breathing hard, preparing for the next exchange—
"HI THERE!"
Both warriors froze.
They turned to see a young man in a blue gi waving enthusiastically at them from the edge of the clearing. Behind him, a massive tiger was trying to hide behind a tree that was much too small for it.
"Great party!" Marcus called out, giving them two thumbs up. "Love the light show! Is this a rave? I love raves! Although usually there's more music. And glow sticks. Do you guys have glow sticks?"
Goku blinked.
Piccolo's eye twitched.
"YOU," Piccolo snarled.
"Oh hey, Mr. Green! I found you again! Did you find the fiber? You look less constipated, so that's good!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ONCE AGAIN REFERENCED PICCOLO'S ALLEGED DIGESTIVE ISSUES!]
[+40 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 993 → 1,033]
Goku looked between Piccolo and Marcus with confusion. "You know this guy, Piccolo?"
"Unfortunately," Piccolo ground out. "I met him three days ago. He's... an anomaly."
"Is 'anomaly' a type of job?" Marcus asked genuinely. "Because I've been unemployed for a while and I could really use a job. Does it pay well? Are there benefits? I really need dental. I chipped a tooth on a jawbreaker once and—"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS COMPLETELY DERAILED A CONVERSATION WITH IRRELEVANT PERSONAL HISTORY!]
[+15 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,033 → 1,048]
Goku, unlike Piccolo, was not annoyed. He was intrigued.
"Hey there! I'm Goku!" He floated down to ground level and walked over to Marcus with a friendly smile. "What's your name? And wow, you've got a pretty high power level! Have you been training?"
Marcus looked at the newcomer. Spiky black hair that defied gravity. Orange gi. Friendly face. Tail—wait, no, no tail. But the hair was really something.
"I'm Marcus! Nice to meet you, Mr...." He squinted. "Wait. Why does your hair look like an angry pineapple?"
There was a moment of silence.
Piccolo made a choking sound.
Goku reached up and touched his hair, looking genuinely confused. "Angry pineapple? I've never thought about it that way. Huh. I guess it kinda does!"
He laughed.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS INSULTED EARTH'S GREATEST HERO'S HAIR!]
[BUT GOKU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, SO...]
[+20 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,048 → 1,068]
[NOTE: GOKU IS SURPRISINGLY DIFFICULT TO OFFEND. THE SYSTEM IS RECALCULATING STRATEGIES.]
"I like you!" Goku declared. "You're funny! And your power level is pretty strong for a human! You must train a lot!"
"Not really. I took karate when I was seven but I quit because of the yelling."
"Aw, that's too bad. Martial arts training can be really fun! You should try it again!"
Marcus considered this. "Would there be yelling?"
"Sometimes, yeah. But the good kind of yelling! Like when you're powering up!"
"What's powering up?"
Goku's eyes went wide with excitement. "Oh man, you don't know? Here, watch this!"
He dropped into a stance, clenched his fists, and began to scream.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Energy exploded around him, creating a visible white aura that whipped his hair around (somehow making it even spikier) and caused the ground to shake.
Marcus watched this display with polite interest.
"So... you're screaming really loud and glowing?"
"Yeah! It increases your power!"
Marcus tilted his head. "Does it have to be screaming? Because I'm not really a screaming person. I'm more of a... mumbling person. Can you power up by mumbling?"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS QUESTIONED THE FUNDAMENTAL MECHANICS OF POWER-UPS!]
[+18 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,068 → 1,086]
Goku actually paused, his aura fading. "Huh. I never tried mumbling. I don't think it would work the same way, but... I mean, I've never tried, so..."
He looked genuinely thoughtful about this.
Piccolo floated down with an expression of utter exasperation. "Goku. Stop entertaining the idiot. He's not worth your time."
"That seems mean, Mr. Green," Marcus said with a slight pout. "I thought we were friends."
"We are NOT friends."
"But I hugged you."
Goku's head whipped around. "You hugged Piccolo?"
"I tried to. He flew away before I could, but the intention was there." Marcus nodded sagely. "Hugs are important for emotional health. My therapist said so."
"You have a therapist?" Goku asked.
"Had. She's probably in a different dimension now. Or maybe I'm in a different dimension. Either way, the commute would be hard."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS DISCUSSED INTERDIMENSIONAL THERAPY LOGISTICS!]
[+12 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,086 → 1,098]
Piccolo felt Marcus's power increase again and his jaw tightened. "There. Did you feel that, Goku? His power just went up. It's been doing that constantly since I met him."
Goku closed his eyes and focused. His expression shifted to one of genuine surprise. "Whoa, you're right! His energy just jumped! How are you doing that, Marcus?"
"Doing what?"
"Getting stronger!"
Marcus scratched his head. "I don't know. I have this system thing that—"
[THE SYSTEM WOULD LIKE TO REMIND THE HOST THAT EXPLAINING THE SYSTEM USUALLY GOES POORLY.]
[ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, EVERYTHING YOU DO GOES POORLY, AND IT'S WORKED OUT SO FAR.]
[CARRY ON.]
"—gives me points when I do stuff. I don't really understand it. There's a lot of reading involved and I get bored easily."
Goku and Piccolo exchanged glances.
"A... system?" Piccolo said slowly.
"Yeah! It talks to me in my head sometimes. It's kind of sarcastic. I think it doesn't like me very much."
[THAT'S NOT TRUE.]
[THE SYSTEM HAS A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HOST.]
[IT'S LIKE WATCHING A CAR CRASH IN SLOW MOTION, EXCEPT THE CAR KEEPS WINNING.]
"So you hear voices?" Piccolo asked, a hint of something like hope in his voice. "You're mentally unstable?"
"I don't think so? Although my mom always said I was 'touched in the head,' which I think was a compliment about my soft hair."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS MISINTERPRETED A EUPHEMISM FOR MENTAL DEFICIENCY AS A HAIR COMPLIMENT!]
[+30 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,098 → 1,128]
Goku scratched his head. "Well, I dunno about systems and stuff, but you seem like a nice guy! Want to spar?"
"GOKU, NO—" Piccolo started.
"What's a spar? Is it like a spa? Because I could use some relaxation. Mr. Whiskers and I have been walking for days and my feet hurt."
Mr. Whiskers, still hiding behind the too-small tree, made a sound of agreement.
"Sparring! It's like fighting, but for fun! To get stronger!"
"Oh." Marcus considered this. "I don't really know how to fight. I told you, I quit karate."
"That's okay! I can teach you!"
"Really? You'd do that for me? Pineapple Man, you're so nice!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS GIVEN GOKU A NICKNAME!]
[IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF ACCURATE, SO...]
[+10 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,128 → 1,138]
Goku laughed again. "Pineapple Man! I like it! Usually people call me Goku, but I don't mind!"
Piccolo looked at the sky as if searching for divine intervention.
"Okay!" Goku dropped into a fighting stance. "Just try to hit me! Don't worry about hurting me, I'm really tough!"
Marcus looked at his own fists. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt anyone. My mom always said violence wasn't the answer."
"She sounds wise! But sometimes violence is the answer! Especially when bad guys are trying to destroy the planet!"
"People try to destroy the planet? That seems excessive. What did the planet ever do to them?"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ASKED A SURPRISINGLY REASONABLE QUESTION FOR ONCE!]
[...THE SYSTEM IS NOT SURE HOW TO CATEGORIZE THIS.]
[AWARDED +5 STAT POINTS FOR CONFUSION.]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,138 → 1,143]
"Come on, just try!" Goku encouraged.
"Okay..."
Marcus walked up to Goku, cocked his arm back, and threw the most telegraphed, amateur punch in the history of martial arts.
Goku, out of pure instinct, moved to block.
The punch connected.
Goku went flying.
He crashed through six trees before skidding to a halt in a crater about a hundred meters away.
Marcus stared at his fist. "OH NO! PINEAPPLE MAN! I'M SO SORRY! ARE YOU OKAY?!"
He ran over in a panic.
Piccolo stood frozen.
What.
What had just happened?
The Namekian had been tracking Marcus's power level. It was high for a human—over 1,000 now—but it shouldn't have been enough to send GOKU flying like that. Goku's power level was far higher, especially in a combat state.
Unless...
Piccolo's eyes widened as realization dawned.
The idiot didn't know how to control his energy. He'd put everything—every ounce of his power—into that single, terrible punch. No finesse, no technique, no holding back.
Just raw, undiluted power from someone too stupid to know that you weren't supposed to go all-out in a friendly spar.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ACCIDENTALLY GONE FULL POWER AGAINST A FRIENDLY OPPONENT!]
[+45 STAT POINTS FOR UNINTENTIONAL ULTRA INSTINCT (MINUS THE INSTINCT PART)!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,143 → 1,188]
Marcus reached the crater where Goku was lying.
"Pineapple Man! Speak to me! I didn't mean to! I'm so sorry! Please don't be dead!"
Goku sat up, rubbing his jaw. His eyes were wide, but not with pain.
With excitement.
"WOW! That was amazing! You actually hit me! Like, REALLY hit me! I felt that!"
"You're... not mad?"
"Mad? That was GREAT!" Goku jumped to his feet. "Do it again!"
"What?!"
"Hit me again! I want to see if I can block it this time!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ENCOUNTERED SOMEONE WHOSE RESPONSE TO BEING PUNCHED IS "DO IT AGAIN!"]
[THE SYSTEM IS BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND THIS UNIVERSE.]
[+0 STAT POINTS (THIS ONE'S ON GOKU, NOT YOU)]
Piccolo flew over, landing next to them. "Goku, you can't be serious. You want him to hit you again?"
"Yeah! It's been forever since someone actually surprised me like that! Come on, Marcus!"
Marcus looked between Goku's eager face and his own fist. "I really don't want to hurt you..."
"You won't! I'm ready this time!"
"Okay... but only because you asked..."
Marcus threw another punch.
Goku caught it.
"HA! Got you—"
The force of the punch carried through anyway, driving Goku's own hand into his face.
He gave himself a black eye.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS CAUSED SOMEONE TO PUNCH THEMSELVES!]
[THE SYSTEM IS VERY IMPRESSED!]
[+60 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,188 → 1,248]
Goku staggered back, holding his eye. "Ow! Okay, that's never happened before!"
"I'M SO SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING!"
Piccolo had seen enough.
His pride, already wounded from their first encounter, was bleeding out on the ground. This complete novice, this absolute moron, was manhandling Goku—the warrior who had defeated HIM at the World Martial Arts Tournament.
It was unacceptable.
"Fight me," Piccolo growled.
Marcus turned to look at him. "What?"
"Fight. Me. Now."
"But Mr. Green, I don't want to fight you either. I don't want to fight anyone. I just want to find an IHOP and eat some pancakes."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS PRIORITIZED BREAKFAST OVER A BATTLE CHALLENGE!]
[+20 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,248 → 1,268]
"STOP TALKING ABOUT PANCAKES AND FIGHT ME!"
Piccolo launched himself at Marcus, fist drawn back for a devastating strike.
Marcus, startled, threw his hands up in a defensive gesture.
"WAIT, MR. GREEN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO—"
Piccolo's fist connected with Marcus's forearms.
There was a sound like a thunderclap.
Piccolo's arm went numb.
Marcus, despite having no martial arts training beyond a few childhood karate classes, had accidentally executed a perfect block—mostly because his instinct when something came at his face was to cover it with his arms, and his power level was now high enough that this actually worked.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS STUMBLED INTO A DEFENSIVE TECHNIQUE!]
[+25 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,268 → 1,293]
"OW!" Marcus shook his arms. "That hurt! Why did you do that?!"
Piccolo grinned despite the pain in his arm. "Finally! Now we're getting somewhere!"
He launched a barrage of attacks—punches, kicks, energy-infused strikes.
Marcus, panicking, flailed wildly.
Somehow, impossibly, he blocked or dodged every single one.
Not through skill. Not through training. Through sheer, dumb luck and a body that had been empowered far beyond what any of them realized.
Piccolo threw a right hook—Marcus leaned back too far and accidentally dodged it.
Piccolo swept at his legs—Marcus hopped because he thought he saw a bug on the ground.
Piccolo fired a ki blast—Marcus sneezed again and deflected it.
[DING!]
[DING!]
[DING!]
[HOST IS ACCIDENTALLY DOMINATING THIS FIGHT!]
[COMBO BONUS: +100 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,293 → 1,393]
"HOLD STILL!" Piccolo roared.
"I CAN'T! I'M SCARED!"
Piccolo charged his signature attack. Purple energy crackled around his fingers as he brought them to his forehead.
"SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!"
The spiraling beam of energy lanced toward Marcus.
Marcus, not knowing what else to do, held out his hands.
"STOP, PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT!"
The Special Beam Cannon hit his palms.
And stopped.
Marcus stood there, eyes squeezed shut, holding Piccolo's ultimate attack in his hands like it was a particularly aggressive beach ball.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS CAUGHT THE SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!]
[THE TECHNIQUE DESIGNED TO PIERCE ANY DEFENSE!]
[WITH HIS BARE HANDS!]
[WHILE SAYING "PLEASE STOP!"]
[+200 STAT POINTS FOR DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE THROUGH SHEER IGNORANCE!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,393 → 1,593]
Piccolo's jaw dropped.
Goku's jaw dropped.
Mr. Whiskers had given up on hiding and was now lying on the ground, paws over his eyes, questioning every choice that had led to this moment.
"Um," Marcus said, opening one eye. "What do I do with this? It's really hot. And spinny. Is it supposed to be this spinny?"
"Let go of it!" Piccolo shouted.
"Okay!"
Marcus released the beam.
It shot straight up into the sky and vanished into space, probably destined to become some distant planet's problem in a few thousand years.
"Oh good. It's gone." Marcus looked at his hands. They were slightly red but otherwise fine. "Mr. Green, that was really dangerous! You could have hurt someone! Probably not me, apparently, but someone!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS SCOLDED THE DEMON KING'S SON FOR BEING DANGEROUS!]
[+75 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,593 → 1,668]
Piccolo stood frozen, processing what had just happened.
He had used his strongest technique.
This idiot had caught it.
CAUGHT IT.
And then LECTURED HIM about safety.
Something inside Piccolo broke.
Not his spirit—Namekians were made of sterner stuff. But something fundamental shifted in his worldview. His rivalry with Goku had defined him for so long. Goku, the worthy opponent. Goku, the one who had defeated him fairly in combat.
But this Marcus...
This Marcus hadn't even been TRYING.
He'd blocked every attack while panicking. He'd caught the Special Beam Cannon while asking it to stop. He'd sent Goku flying with a punch that had the technical skill of a toddler.
And he was STILL getting stronger.
Piccolo could feel it. Every few seconds, the human's power level ticked up a little more. It was subtle, but it was constant.
At this rate...
"You," Piccolo said, his voice quiet but intense.
"Y-yes, Mr. Green?"
"You are my rival now."
Marcus blinked. "I'm your what?"
"My RIVAL. The one I must surpass. I thought it was Goku, but no. Goku makes sense. Goku earned his strength through training, through hardship, through dedication."
Piccolo pointed a trembling finger at Marcus.
"YOU are an abomination. You earn strength through STUPIDITY. You have no technique. No training. No understanding. And yet you caught my Special Beam Cannon like it was a FRISBEE."
"It did kind of fly like a frisbee—"
"SILENCE!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS COMPARED THE SPECIAL BEAM CANNON TO A FRISBEE!]
[PICCOLO'S SANITY: CRITICAL DAMAGE!]
[+85 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,668 → 1,753]
"From this day forward," Piccolo declared, "I will train. I will push myself beyond all limits. And I will not rest until I have surpassed you, Marcus Chen. Until I can prove that SKILL and DEDICATION mean something in this universe!"
"But I don't want a rival. I want pancakes."
"TOO BAD! YOU HAVE A RIVAL NOW!"
Piccolo shot into the sky, his cape billowing dramatically behind him.
"THIS ISN'T OVER, MARCUS! I WILL SURPASS YOU! I SWEAR IT ON MY FATHER'S NAME!"
He disappeared into the distance.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ACQUIRED A RIVAL!]
[ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "NEMESIS (ACCIDENTAL)"]
[+50 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,753 → 1,803]
Marcus stood in the crater-filled clearing, utterly confused.
"What just happened? Did I do something wrong?"
Goku walked up beside him, staring at the sky where Piccolo had vanished. His expression was unreadable.
"Hey, Pineapple Man? Are you okay?"
Goku was quiet for a long moment.
Then he sat down heavily on a nearby rock.
"Marcus," he said slowly, "I've been training my whole life."
"Okay?"
"I've fought monsters. Demons. The Red Ribbon Army. I trained with gods. I pushed my body beyond its limits hundreds of times."
"That sounds hard."
"It was. It is." Goku looked at his hands. "And just now, you caught Piccolo's Special Beam Cannon. With your bare hands. While asking it to stop."
"Was that not normal?"
"No, Marcus. That was not normal."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ASKED IF CATCHING A LETHAL ATTACK WAS NORMAL!]
[+15 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,803 → 1,818]
Goku laughed suddenly—but it wasn't his usual carefree laugh. There was something almost manic in it.
"You know what? I'm not even mad. I'm actually kind of impressed. And terrified. But mostly impressed."
"Thanks?"
"But I do have one question."
"Sure, Pineapple Man!"
Goku looked at Marcus with complete seriousness.
"Have you ever considered NOT being stupid?"
Marcus thought about this for a long time.
"No," he finally said. "I don't think I know how."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ADMITTED THAT INTELLIGENCE IS BEYOND HIS CAPABILITIES!]
[+40 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,818 → 1,858]
Goku stared at him for another long moment.
Then he threw his head back and laughed for real this time.
"You know what? I like you, Marcus. You're weird, but you're honest. And I think you might actually be stronger than me someday, which is CRAZY, but also kind of exciting!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! I've never had someone to chase before—it's usually people chasing me! This could be fun!"
He jumped to his feet.
"Tell you what! I'll help you learn how to fight properly! And you can help me train by being a sparring partner! It'll be great!"
Marcus felt a warmth in his chest. Someone actually wanted to help him. Someone thought he was worth investing in.
"Pineapple Man... that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"Also, I know where we can get pancakes!"
Marcus's eyes went wide. "YOU DO?!"
"Yeah! My wife Chi-Chi makes the best pancakes! Come on, I'll take you to my house!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS BEEN INVITED TO A MAIN CHARACTER'S HOME!]
[QUEST UNLOCKED: "DOMESTIC DESTRUCTION (PROBABLY)"]
[+25 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,858 → 1,883]
Marcus practically vibrated with excitement. "Mr. Whiskers! We're getting PANCAKES!"
The tiger emerged from his hiding spot, looking absolutely done with everything but unable to resist the promise of food.
Goku looked at the massive predator. "Oh cool, you have a pet tiger! I used to ride a cloud, so I get it. Come on, I'll carry you both!"
Before Marcus could ask what "riding a cloud" meant—
[DING!]
[HOST DOES NOT KNOW WHAT RIDING A CLOUD MEANS!]
[+5 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,883 → 1,888]
—Goku scooped him up under one arm and Mr. Whiskers under the other, and shot into the sky.
"WAIT, WE'RE FLYING?! HOW ARE WE FLYING?! IS THIS SAFE?! I DON'T HAVE A SEATBELT!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS ASKED ABOUT AVIATION SAFETY WHILE BEING CARRIED BY A MAN WHO CAN DESTROY MOUNTAINS!]
[+22 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,888 → 1,910]
Mr. Whiskers, dangling from Goku's arm hundreds of feet in the air, closed his eyes and accepted his fate.
He had been a proud tiger once.
Now he was a stress ball with stripes.
Meanwhile, on a distant mountain, Piccolo had already begun training.
He was doing one-handed pushups on a single finger, grunting with each rep, sweat pouring down his green face.
"One thousand... one thousand and one... one thousand and two..."
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw it.
Marcus's stupid, confused face as he held the Special Beam Cannon in his hands.
"One thousand and three..."
The bewilderment in his voice as he asked what to do with it.
"One thousand and four..."
The way his power kept climbing with every idiotic word out of his mouth.
"ONE THOUSAND AND FIVE!"
Piccolo screamed in frustration, blasting the mountain below him into rubble.
"I WILL SURPASS YOU, MARCUS CHEN! IF IT TAKES ME A THOUSAND YEARS!"
[DING!]
[PICCOLO HAS BEGUN HIS RIVAL ARC!]
[THIS IS NOT DIRECTLY YOUR DOING, BUT THE SYSTEM FEELS YOU SHOULD KNOW.]
[PICCOLO'S TRAINING INTENSITY: 400% INCREASE!]
[RELATIONSHIP STATUS: RIVAL (OBSESSIVE)]
[PICCOLO'S THERAPY NEEDS: CRITICAL]
Back in the sky, Marcus was experiencing his first flight.
"THIS IS AMAZING! I CAN SEE EVERYTHING! LOOK, MR. WHISKERS, THERE'S A LAKE! AND A FOREST! AND—oh wait, that's the same forest from before. WE PASSED IT TWICE!"
"Sorry!" Goku called out cheerfully. "I'm not great with directions!"
"THAT'S OKAY! I'M NOT GREAT WITH ANYTHING!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS BONDED WITH GOKU OVER MUTUAL INCOMPETENCE!]
[+35 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,910 → 1,945]
"You know," Goku said as they flew, "I have a son about your age! Well, he's younger, but you'd probably get along!"
"You have a son?! Are you old?!"
"I'm... actually, I don't know how old I am. Time is weird."
"SAME!"
[DING!]
[HOST AND GOKU HAVE DISCOVERED THEY'RE BOTH BAD AT KNOWING THEIR OWN AGES!]
[THIS IS SOMEHOW WHOLESOME.]
[+10 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,945 → 1,955]
They landed about an hour later in front of a cozy house in the mountains. Well, "landed" was generous—Goku more or less dropped them from about ten feet up and Marcus somehow landed on his face.
"Ow."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS FACE-PLANTED ON ARRIVAL!]
[+8 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,955 → 1,963]
"Sorry about that!" Goku rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I'm still working on the whole 'landing with passengers' thing."
Mr. Whiskers, who had somehow landed on all fours with feline grace, looked at Marcus with an expression that clearly said "This is your life now."
The door to the house burst open.
"GOKU! Where have you BEEN?! Breakfast was three hours ago! Your food is COLD!"
A woman with black hair and a furious expression stormed out. She was wearing an apron and wielding a frying pan like it was a deadly weapon—which, in her hands, it probably was.
"Hey Chi-Chi!" Goku waved, completely unbothered by her anger. "I brought a friend! His name is Marcus and he really wants pancakes!"
Chi-Chi's rage immediately pivoted to the stranger lying face-down on her lawn.
Marcus pushed himself up and smiled at her.
"Hi! You must be the wife! Your husband has really nice hair! It looks like an angry pineapple!"
[DING!]
[HOST HAS COMPLIMENTED CHI-CHI'S HUSBAND BY INSULTING HIS APPEARANCE!]
[CHI-CHI IS CONFUSED!]
[+18 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,963 → 1,981]
Chi-Chi looked at Marcus. Then at Goku. Then back at Marcus.
"Did he just call your hair an angry pineapple?"
"Yeah! It's my new nickname! Pineapple Man!"
"I..." Chi-Chi seemed to short-circuit for a moment. "Okay. Sure. Fine. I've given up on understanding this family. Would you like some pancakes, Marcus?"
Marcus's eyes filled with tears.
"That's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever asked me."
[DING!]
[HOST HAS HAD AN EMOTIONAL REACTION TO PANCAKES!]
[+12 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,981 → 1,993]
Chi-Chi's expression softened slightly. This young man was clearly an idiot, but he was also weirdly sincere.
"Come inside," she sighed. "I'll make a fresh batch."
"Can my tiger come too?"
"Your... TIGER?!"
She finally noticed Mr. Whiskers, who had been trying to hide behind a bush (again, too small).
"MR. GREEN SAID THE SAME THING! What's the big deal about tigers?!"
[DING!]
[HOST DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE SURPRISED BY HIS PET APEX PREDATOR!]
[+20 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 1,993 → 2,013]
Chi-Chi's eye twitched—she was already developing the same tic that Piccolo had.
"Fine. The tiger can come inside. But if it eats the furniture, you're paying for it."
"That's fair! Mr. Whiskers is very well-behaved. Mostly. He only tried to eat me once, and that was before we were friends."
They entered the house.
Goku sat down at the table like nothing was unusual.
Mr. Whiskers curled up in the corner, grateful to be indoors for the first time in days.
Marcus looked around at the cozy home—the family photos, the cooking smells, the general warmth of a place where people actually lived and loved.
Something in his chest ached.
"This is really nice," he said quietly. "I never really had this. A home, I mean. I had an apartment, but that's not the same, you know?"
The room fell silent.
Chi-Chi turned from the stove, her expression softening even more.
Goku tilted his head, picking up on the shift in mood.
[THE SYSTEM WOULD LIKE TO NOTE THAT THIS IS A GENUINE EMOTIONAL MOMENT.]
[NO STUPIDITY DETECTED.]
[PROCESSING...]
[ERROR: HOST IS BEING SINCERE. THE SYSTEM IS NOT EQUIPPED FOR THIS.]
"You can stay for a while if you want," Chi-Chi said gently. "We have a spare room. Goku brings home strays all the time—"
"Hey!"
"—and you seem harmless enough."
Marcus's eyes went wide. "Really? You'd let me stay? But you just met me!"
"Goku likes you. And my husband is an idiot, but he's a good judge of character."
"Hey!" Goku protested again, but he was grinning.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS BEEN OFFERED A PLACE TO STAY BY PURE-HEARTED STRANGERS!]
[RELATIONSHIP UNLOCKED: SON FAMILY (TENTATIVE)]
[+50 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 2,013 → 2,063]
Marcus felt tears prickling at his eyes again.
"Thank you. That means so much. I promise I'll try not to break anything or say anything too stupid or—"
"PANCAKES ARE READY!"
Chi-Chi set a massive stack of pancakes in front of Marcus.
All emotional depth immediately evaporated.
"PANCAKES!"
Marcus dove in with the enthusiasm of a man who'd been dreaming of this moment for four days. Which he had been. Constantly.
[DING!]
[HOST HAS RUINED A TOUCHING MOMENT WITH PANCAKE ENTHUSIASM!]
[+15 STAT POINTS!]
[POWER LEVEL: 2,063 → 2,078]
Goku laughed and started eating his own breakfast (re-heated from earlier).
Chi-Chi watched them both with a mix of exasperation and fondness.
Mr. Whiskers received a bowl of raw meat and decided that maybe this new life wasn't so bad after all.
From outside the window, a small figure watched the scene.
Gohan, son of Goku, had been doing his homework in his room when he heard the commotion. Now he was peering through the glass, curious about the stranger his father had brought home.
"Who's that?" he wondered aloud.
He'd ask later.
For now, the strange man was eating pancakes like his life depended on it, his dad was laughing, his mom was doing that eye-twitching thing she did when she was trying not to yell, and a giant tiger was eating meat in their living room.
A normal day in the Son household, really.
[CHAPTER 2 COMPLETE]
[FINAL POWER LEVEL: 2,078]
[STARTING POWER LEVEL: 945]
[TOTAL INCREASE: 1,133]
[TOTAL STUPID ACTIONS THIS CHAPTER: 28]
[RELATIONSHIPS FORMED:]
[- GOKU: FRIEND (CONFUSED BUT SUPPORTIVE)]
[- PICCOLO: RIVAL (OBSESSIVE, UNHINGED)]
[- CHI-CHI: ACQUAINTANCE (TOLERATING)]
[- GOHAN: UNKNOWN (CURIOUS)]
[NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENTS:]
[- PUNCHED GOKU]
[- MADE GOKU PUNCH HIMSELF]
[- CAUGHT THE SPECIAL BEAM CANNON]
[- CALLED IT A FRISBEE]
[- ACQUIRED A RIVAL AGAINST HIS WILL]
[- GOT PANCAKES]
[SYSTEM NOTES:]
[GOKU HAS QUESTIONED HIS LIFE CHOICES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 23 YEARS. HE GOT OVER IT QUICKLY BECAUSE HE'S GOKU.]
[PICCOLO IS CURRENTLY DOING 10,000 PUSH-UPS AND CRYING (NAMEKIANS CAN'T CRY, BUT HE'S DOING THE EMOTIONAL EQUIVALENT).]
[MR. WHISKERS IS EXPERIENCING STOCKHOLM SYNDROME BUT ALSO GENUINE AFFECTION. IT'S COMPLICATED.]
[CHI-CHI HAS ADOPTED ANOTHER STRAY. THIS IS HER BURDEN.]
[THE SYSTEM ANTICIPATES THAT MARCUS WILL BREAK SOMETHING VALUABLE TOMORROW.]
[IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.]
[NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW:]
["Why Does That Bald Man Look So Angry? Does He Need Sunscreen?"]
[FEATURING:]
[- KRILLIN'S ARRIVAL]
[- MARCUS ASKS ABOUT KRILLIN'S FOREHEAD DOTS]
[- TRAINING MONTAGE (GONE WRONG)]
[- PICCOLO SHOWS UP AGAIN (HE CAN'T STAY AWAY)]
[- GOHAN AND MARCUS BOND OVER NOT UNDERSTANDING ADULTS]
END OF CHAPTER 2